Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Sibling priority resentment

38 replies

Edenviolet · 04/02/2014 22:14

Had a comment today from somebody I vaguely know about how she was forced to lie on her dds application form, saying that she had a bad back and no car so needed the nearest school for a medical reason as otherwise " all the places go to siblings"

We live in a borough where after looked after children and those with a statement or medical needs of the child or parent siblings (in or out of catchment) are the priority.

She asked me about where I was applying for and I told her and she said "but you live in x you should apply for somewhere near your house not take places from local children whose parents have worked hard to buy a house near the school they want"

I was astounded, the council decide the admission rules not me but she was directing her unhappiness about it towards me.
Apparently one of her friends lived on the same road as the school but didnt get a place and got her 6 th choice last year instead.

Dd is friends at pre school with this lady's dd but I feel like just completely avoiding her from now on as her tone when she spoke to me and general attitude was horrible.

OP posts:

lifeinthefastlane1 · 04/02/2014 22:32

bloody hell if I lived in the same road as the school I wanted and was not offered a place , my kids would not be going to school!
does that kind of thing happen often?

Mim78 · 04/02/2014 22:33

I think she has got it all muddled up. Buying a house near the school you want is generally frowned apon as this is how you get the rich school/ poor school thing going on all over the place.

And she is the one who has lied on her form! I thought these things needed t be supported by evidence anyway so she might get nowhere.

Do you fit into one of the priority categories then? Otherwise her comment doesn't make much sense?

OddBoots · 04/02/2014 22:34

It seems her opinion is a growing one given the number of schools that see (around here anyway) to be dropping sibling link down below catchment. I can see both sides there.

Mim78 · 04/02/2014 22:35

I would think sibling link had to come first as how can you be expected to take your kids to two different schools at the same time?

Original poster

Edenviolet · 04/02/2014 22:38

Yes my ds1 is at the school but we now live out of catchment, hopefully dd2 will get a place for September (won't find out till April). Every school round here is over subscribed.

She has apparently been planning it for months, going to the gp with a 'bad back' so that she could get a letter to give in with the application form.

OP posts:

WooWooOwl · 04/02/2014 22:42

This woman isn't forced to do anything, and if it were as simple as saying you had a bad back and no car to guarantee a space at the school you want then everyone would be doing it. Admissions criteria is slightly more complicated than that.

macdoodle · 04/02/2014 22:43

I'd be pretty hacked off if my kids didn't get into the local catchment school TBH.

ReallyTired · 04/02/2014 22:43

Provided that the family live within walking distance of a school then sibbing priority at primary school is only fair. However if a family chooses to move say two miles away from a school in a built up area then they should not get sibbling priority. The sheer shortage of school places makes it hard for families to move school even if they want to.

"I vaguely know about how she was forced to lie on her dds application form, saying that she had a bad back and no car so needed the nearest school for a medical reason as otherwise " all the places go to siblings"

I am really surprised that a lie like that would work. Priority is often given for a child medical problems, but not an adult's. Even then you need substantial proof like a letter from a consultant.

Original poster

Edenviolet · 04/02/2014 22:45

I know-I didn't like to tell her the hell we went through to get dd1 a place there a few years ago (appeal and judicial review) if only it was as easy as giving in a gp letter!

I just felt like she was venting her anger about the admissions criteria at me because dd2 has a sibling link.

OP posts:

Original poster

Edenviolet · 04/02/2014 22:46

Priority here is:

Looked after children
Sen naming the school
Medical reason child
Medical reason parent
Sibling
Distance

OP posts:

softlysoftly · 04/02/2014 22:47

Our priority rules would have you after her anyway? So la children, siblings in catchment, children in catchment, siblings out of catchment. Are you sure yours don't? Seems unfair!

Though she is totally out of order!

Mim78 · 04/02/2014 22:47

Just ignore her and see what happens when you get the offers. She can't get a place by going on about it for months!

Original poster

Edenviolet · 04/02/2014 22:48

It is just siblings as priority no in/out catchment.

OP posts:

Mellowandfruitful · 04/02/2014 22:48

I also can't imagine that is going to work. The admissions process will focus on the needs of the child. And I don't think not having a car comes into any of it. But let her continue with this delusion and see where it gets here. Given that your DDs are friends, and she doesn't sound like she's open to other views, I would just murmur something non-committal about how 'we'll all just have to wait and see how the council sort it out' any time it comes up. Then after the decision, just keep shrugging and 'Well, you never really know how they make these decisions, do you?'

lunar1 · 04/02/2014 22:49

It's really not right though that someone can live on the same road as a school and not get in, especially if a significant number get in on sibling link but have since moved away.

bloob · 04/02/2014 22:57

I don't know. Circumstances change. People have to move. Often through no choice of their own, lots of people are renting and potentially with the rising cost of housing can't afford to keep in a small catchment area now. Especially as choice is often limited.

I don't think it's quite as simple as if you choose to move you lose the school place.

That would be so hard for families, to get all their children to different schools. Or try to move the older one- if all the schools are over subscribed a place is unlikely to be easy to come by.

Plus if you live in a built up area schools are likely to not be too far away.

Petitealouette · 04/02/2014 22:57

People get really competitive hysterical about school applications. I find this mildly irritating and don't bother can't be arsed taking part in all of this pre-school pfb admissions business, frankly life's too short.

Just ignore her; which school you apply for is certainly none of her business as long as you don't cheat the system.

If she is rude and you don't like her tone don't engage.

Original poster

Edenviolet · 04/02/2014 22:59

Siblings account for a huge number of places on average the past few years approx 60 places out of 90 have gone to siblings.

The school is on a very long road so those living at the far end are not guaranteed a place on distance.

When I lived nearby and wanted dd1 to go we were 0.7 miles away approx and she did not get a place on distance.

OP posts:

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 04/02/2014 23:00

Ours is siblings in catchment, catchment, siblings out of catchment, out of catchment, so you can't get one in and move away. No one out of catchment ever seems to get in, even with siblings. I would imagine they would check up on medical evidence VERY thoroughly.

ATacticalNameChange · 04/02/2014 23:03

The not getting in to the nearest school happens often enough. Many schools have religious oversubscription criteria that many will not meet and cobsequently there is no chance of entry even if you literally live next door.

What you do is of no consequence or concern to your friend. You apply for the best schools for your DC. Don't listen to her.

Designing a truly fair admissions process is really hard. Lotteries have been tried byt have their own issues...

Original poster

Edenviolet · 04/02/2014 23:10

We actually have a wonderful school opposite our house but it is RC and we could not get in when we moved so chose to keep dd1 where she was. I do feel lucky we have the sibling link but I'd prefer it if dcs went to school across the road so I can see her point. She was just so annoyed and irate with me.

OP posts:

Mintyy · 04/02/2014 23:13

I do not think siblings should get priority at secondary level, no. I can see the arguments in favour at primary level.

PortofinoRevisited · 04/02/2014 23:20

So you are no longer in your nearest school and you started a thread to bitch about about someone who wants their kids to go to their nearest school? Please correct me if I am wrong.

Dromedary · 04/02/2014 23:25

I needed my DC1 to go to school near where I work, not near where I lived at the time, or I wouldn't have been able to manage the dropping off and picking up. I was able to do this because she was older, and a space was available. Then DC2 got a place due to the sibling rule - otherwise there would have been no chance as the school was heavily oversubscribed for Reception entry. This wasn't possible at the neighbouring school, as catchment comes first. We are certainly not the only people sending their children to schools near work rather than home. We have also moved house since, which would have been another problem if the children weren't in the near work school. The distance from home system doesn't always work for people.

Primafacie · 04/02/2014 23:25

I think she has a point, sorry it's clearly not what you want to hear.

Our LEA has a siblings priority policy. Our nearest school is 300m from our house. Last year they took 23 siblings, leaving 7 places for non siblings. There were over 400 applications for these 7 places. As a result the CA is tiny - the furthest distance was 105m, so DD didn't get a place.

Instead, we were offered an RC school (we are atheists) miles away. We decided to go private (at huge cost).

I get that people have to move, but I really think the fair thing to do would be to move your children to their new nearest school, so that local school places go to local children. You cannot abdicate your own free will by saying the council draws the rules - you could just as well exercise your own judgement and moral values, and move your children when you move houses. There is no rule against that, as far as I know?

Flip

1 2