Sibling priority resentment

[Edenviolet]

Had a comment today from somebody I vaguely know about how she was forced to lie on her dds application form, saying that she had a bad back and no car so needed the nearest school for a medical reason as otherwise " all the places go to siblings"

We live in a borough where after looked after children and those with a statement or medical needs of the child or parent siblings (in or out of catchment) are the priority.

She asked me about where I was applying for and I told her and she said "but you live in x you should apply for somewhere near your house not take places from local children whose parents have worked hard to buy a house near the school they want"

I was astounded, the council decide the admission rules not me but she was directing her unhappiness about it towards me.
Apparently one of her friends lived on the same road as the school but didnt get a place and got her 6 th choice last year instead.

Dd is friends at pre school with this lady's dd but I feel like just completely avoiding her from now on as her tone when she spoke to me and general attitude was horrible.

So she is lying to move up the criteria list, and berating you for using the criteria honestly?

Weird.

Prima, I'm sure many of those 23 hadn't moved since their siblings joined.

My DS did not get a place at the school in our village because the places were filled up by siblings of children who did not live near the school. It might our life really difficult for ten years as we had no car and there was no bus service that would get the kids to school at the right time.

I still think you have to let siblings have priority, or how are parents meant to get siblings to different primary school at the same time.

A better solution would be to stop people putting kids into primaries other than their local school in the first place. That way the whole problem of subsequent siblings would arise less often.

Also, prima, if the move is short enough to stay at the old school, and the area generally has small admission areas, there is no guarantee that there will be a more local school with a place.

There just is no easy answer is there? My youngest DD isn't at the same school that her sisters went to - because it's an infant school with no feeder status to the juniors, there was no sibling link for her to get a place. Don't get me wrong, we're really pleased with the school she's at - but now we have to drive them to school (no golden boot for us) because we can't drop off and pick up in time at two separate schools with a 5 min window. V frustrating and environmentally unfriendly, but there's no simple solution. The other infant school is close and times its school day to accommodate the large no of parents who dart between the two. But it's oversubscribed, like most schools in this baby boom!

I think a lot of the schools here are being expanded, those with 60 places will be going up to a 90 intake and those with 90 up to 120 in the next couple of years so that might help.

Because of this rule we moved house.

Our local school took a bulge year two years before dc1 was due to go. Two years later all of the bulge children's siblings from much further away got priority and children on the adjoining streets didn't get in.

Yes, I was annoyed about sibling priority in this case! Unfortunately/ fortunately depending where you stand, it is necessary though.

primafacie does the school begin with a D?

It wasn't one we applied to but I was horrified when I saw the statistics!

She sounds bloody awful

She may well have a point about siblings, but it's hardly your fault you are adhering to admission criteria- it's not like you are going to change where you apply just to please her

As for lying about a 'bad back' only someone who is a complete cunt would do that. Speaking as someone who is very severely disabled (and my limitations were not taken into account at all when it came to admissions) every single person who lies about things like this makes life so much harder for each and everyone of us who live with disability. It fuels the hatred and gives the impression that most disabled people are 'swinging the lead'

So for her to be lecturing you is a bit bloody much and you should either tell her so or having nothing more to do with her

Just keep contact to a minimum but remain polite. She has lied on her form and yet she is bitching at you for your valid application . You don't need a friend like that.

She has lied on her application....awful.
Its a nitemare around here also....catchment come last but one on list. We have no hope of our local very oversubscribed school which is less than 5 mins away.
I don't get into the conversation with anyone.

I think she was wrong to lie but as I've been through the appeals process previously due to dd1s medical needs I know that the LA won't consider her a priority. They tried to dismiss all dds letters and reports from consultants, gp, physio etc.

I just didn't like the way she spoke to me, its not my fault that the admission criteria puts siblings before distance. I think I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time-she was stressing about school places and got grumpy with me.

Homebirth - Yes it does