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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel absolutely desperate re our housing situation

208 replies

AwfulMaureen · 01/02/2014 20:47

Some may remember my thread worrying about the fact that our Landlord is selling...we got our official notice today...2 months. Fine. I have no hope that the local authority will house us though I will try.

We have some savings...which we can double in the next two months if we save every penny and eat nothing but porridge...which will amount then to 20,000.

I don't want to try for a mortgage as A: We are both 41 and don't want one at this point ...the stress and worry of being chained to a bank is not for me...my sister is always in constant fear of her mortgage provider...and B: I doubt we'd get one anyway as we're both self employed and so not a good bet.

I did look into part ownership but around here the only properties available are flats...upper level flats with no gardens. So our 20 grand would go on owning 25% of a flat in an area we'd never choose.

What can I DO! It's SO frustrating....if we could find a little wreck of a barn with planning permission, we have the skills and patience to do it up...I've even found myself looking at frigging barges and Park Houses...you know...those little trailer park things! Most of those are for retired people with no children.

Why the arse should we continue to rent privately? I just don't want to!

The savings we have have come to us through freakishly good timing so we can't really replicate this amount of money over the next few years and I'm afraid it will all leech away on rent etc...I just want somewhere to call my own.

I think about all those English Heritage wrecks....rotting away...when we could improve and protect them...and other listed buildings which are going to waste. We're willing to be a bit quirky in our lifestyle but have to consider the children which is why a barge isn't really ideal!

OP posts:
ImagineJL · 02/02/2014 13:43

I'm confused. You currently rent privately, you're happy with it, and disappointed that your landlord is selling. I presume you'd have happily carried on renting like this if he wasn't selling. So why don't you find somewhere else to rent, and carry on aas you currently are?

Megrim · 02/02/2014 14:07

Think people are being a bit harsh here - savings that are hard won can be easily swallowed up with nothing much to show for it the end. That would make me anxious too.

Can you and DP sit down and plan where you want to be in a years time, ie UK or Australia, and work back from there? If you have some sort of longer term plan then the short term stuff might fall into place.

greenglasses · 02/02/2014 14:08

OP, I really feel for you (although I do think your wording in the title, and choosing to post in AIBU were mistakes).

I am in a similar situation to you (currently renting, hating the insecurity, and considering emigrating to Australia). Until you've been in this situation I don't think anyone can fully appreciate how difficult the decision is. Especially when you have children. Clearly there are far, far worse situations to be in (understatement of the century), but the decision-making can be all-consuming. The thought of making the wrong decision and having to live with the consequences (perhaps for the rest of your life, depending on circumstances) is terrifying. I'm not surprised you're feeling anxious. I am, too. It's one of the biggest decisions you can make.

As lots of people have said, try and focus on the positives. You have options, many people don't unfortunately. Try and stay calm and just be honest with yourself about what you want and what is possible. At some point you will make a decision that you know is the right one. Whether or not things go to plan is another matter, but you can only deal with that as and when things happen...

Good luck. Keep us posted.

ComposHat · 02/02/2014 14:26

I think op you got people's post up with the tenor of your first post, I imagine many people clicked on this thread having read 'the absolutely desperate' title and asumed that your were stuck in bed and breakfast acomodation with 7 kids and didn't have a farthing to scratch your arse with or your acomodation was crawling with cockroaches and the roof had blown off and the landlord was refusing to fix it. I know I did and when I read about your actual situation I was a bit surprised. No, it is unlikely that the local authority will house you, and to why should they? You have the means to rent or buy should you wish.

I get that you feel anxious/desperate about the siutation. No one can tell you that you don't, but some would question if that worry was proportionate to the situation. In fact, think about the options you have:

  1. You could move to another country due to your husband's citizenship.

  2. You could well have enough to put a decent deposit on a house. I know you don't want a mortgage, but then who does? Actually a mortgage will give you more flexibility than rent. If you are struggling to pay the mortgage, you can sometimes over/underpay which may be very useful if your income is erratic. You can also go onto interest only if the worse comes to the worse. With a private landlord, if you miss one rent payment, odds are that you'll be out on your arse. Not all mortgages are 25 years as numoerous posters have pointed out.

  3. You could get another rental, you can easily afford the deposit/bond moving costs. You could also use some of the savings you've accumulated to re-train should you wish.

In many ways your problem is too much choice (which can create inerita and uncertainty)

Anyway the imediate and short term problem is this: you will be out on your arse by the end of March. You need to find somewhere to live by then. The difficult bit is sorted, you have the cash. Pipedreams like moving to another country, buying a yurt or living on a canal barge might be something for the future, but this takes more time than you have.

I would be looking to get a new short term let and use that six months for having a think through of what you want to do. In that six month period, I would see a properly acredited mortgage broker who can let you know what your options are. As others have said, you are better placed than you realise to get a mortgage than you may think.

GatoradeMeBitch · 02/02/2014 14:30

Are you looking seriously at a canal boat? My colleague bought one after her divorce. She was in bad health and I thought it was a terrible idea, but she loves it. She's been living in one for three years now. An important thing to consider is finding a good mooring space. And you have to consider whether you are going to be alright with dealing with the chemical toilet!

amicissimma · 02/02/2014 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pigsmummy · 02/02/2014 14:33

If you can demonstrate that you have paid your rent every month then you should be able to get a mortgage. If you get a mortgage it needs paying every month, just like the rent does. I am don't see what your problem is tbh. Either buy or rent.

I have two friends who live happy on boats. However be prepared for rats and terrible weather. £20K in unlikey to get you a decent house boat though.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 14:49

GreenGlasses thank you....it's nice to hear from someone in the same boat! I do actually feel a lot better now..people here, handing me grips regarding my relative good fortune has helped me see more clearly that in fact I AM in a good position....a scary one...but as people have said that's life as an adult!

I have this morning spoken to our older DD about the possibility of moving to Oz when she's finished primary and to my utter shock, she was very positive...this was one of my biggest fears...that she'd not want to...that she'd want to go to high school here in the UK with her mates...of course, she may get cold feet but she may not...I just want everyone happy and that can't be. My Mum will be sad. I am leaning now towards finding a nice rental for the coming year and a bit and then saving our money for some land in Oz. DH has a job waiting for him....he will be employed...I will continue to work for myself....I just keep panicking...that's why I posted such a hysterical title.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 02/02/2014 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 15:22

Well Natasha...since we've not decided where to live yet, or to buy or not...I'm not sure at the moment. If we buy, we'll have to pay it off before retirement...if we rent, we will need to make sure we have enough in pensions and savings.

We will be left a certain amount of property upon my inlaws deaths...I should...but don't like to factor that in...the wills are made up. I won't "rely" on that though...who knows how long it will be or what might happen before then?

OP posts:
jenniferlawrence · 02/02/2014 15:27

My husband andI are self employed and have had no problem getting mortgages using Contractor Money. They are brilliant.

NorthernLurker · 02/02/2014 15:46

You're quite right you cannot rely on inheritance. Tbh you shouldn't factor that in AT ALL. Your inlaws could blow it all tomorrow on wine and women.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 15:47

Yes...lol....I told DH this...he has a rosy view of his parents.

OP posts:
ComposHat · 02/02/2014 15:50

Or care home fees. Which is a more realistic prospect. (Which is completely fair enough as it is their memory)

splasheeny · 02/02/2014 16:01

Op I don't really get your angst. You don't want to rent, you don't want to buy. You can't have it all!

BehindLockNumberNine · 02/02/2014 16:08

AwfulMaureen, read my post, I am NOT suggesting you save 5K all year round. But you can do it for two months to get a lovely deposit on a house. And with a bit of careful budgeting you should be able to save 1K? £500?? Still way way way way more than most people can manage. But you appear to be wilfully obtuse about this for some reason I cannot fathom out...

Apatite1 · 02/02/2014 16:09

Never ever rely on inheritance! If I did, I'd retire right now in anticipation of £££. However, I know it's not my money and they can do whatever they like with it until the day they die.

Look, can you save £5k per month or not? I haven't worked that out from all the outrage. If not, how much can you save regularly every month? Based on your income flow, you'll get more tailored advice rather than being jumped on.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 16:22

Apatite1 Why are you reiterating what I said? I SAID I did not rely on an inheritance. Confused

Also, don't "look" me. I have had plenty of excellent advice and some kind support too...I don't need your type of post. I will be hiding this thread now. But to those who handed me a grip in a kind way, thank you very much,

OP posts:
Belacoros · 02/02/2014 16:40

Having a mortgage isn't 'fear' - it's just some money leaving your account each month, like rent. It's better than rent, because there's no landlord.

Really not seeing the problem. Renting means being booted out at a moment's notice. You could buy and settle.

scottishmummy · 02/02/2014 17:25

Maureen on this topic you're not able to tolerate opinion you don't like
Having read all thread,I can see it's making you wound up and more insular
You have a v fortunate set circumstances.solvent.savings.employed.option to emigrate

You've habitually said what you'll not do.blocking of many suggestions
Look you either rent,or you buy. That's it,that's all
You may rent or buy uk or Australia

Chippednailvarnish · 02/02/2014 17:26

Or go live in a £20k tent.

The choice is yours.

UptheChimney · 02/02/2014 17:58

Australia is quite a lit more expensive than you might think. I was there for work about a year ago, and I was shocked at the prices of everything, and real estate in the big cities -- Sydney seemed like London prices!

specialsubject · 02/02/2014 18:03

I think it is probably time to leave the OP to pick up her toys and put them back in the pram.

UptheChimney · 02/02/2014 18:12

What she calls "desperate" and is panicking about is utterly absolutely normal life for most of the grown-up population. It baffles me. Are there people so helpless at the age of 41? Really?

Vixxxen · 02/02/2014 18:17

How about my friends who live in a one bedroom mouldy flat with their 2 children and were given 1,5 month notice. They leave on a £1000 income/month maximum and can't rent anywhere else as they are in London zone 3.
They pay £850 rent now and it is that cheap because the LL is dodge.

They won't find anything at this price even if it is a bed sit.

They only manage to survive because one of them do some cash in hand jobs (report them) and they are not entitled to any benefits because they are on visas, trying to be in the right situation to apply for citizenship.

Hope OP feels blessed now.