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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel absolutely desperate re our housing situation

208 replies

AwfulMaureen · 01/02/2014 20:47

Some may remember my thread worrying about the fact that our Landlord is selling...we got our official notice today...2 months. Fine. I have no hope that the local authority will house us though I will try.

We have some savings...which we can double in the next two months if we save every penny and eat nothing but porridge...which will amount then to 20,000.

I don't want to try for a mortgage as A: We are both 41 and don't want one at this point ...the stress and worry of being chained to a bank is not for me...my sister is always in constant fear of her mortgage provider...and B: I doubt we'd get one anyway as we're both self employed and so not a good bet.

I did look into part ownership but around here the only properties available are flats...upper level flats with no gardens. So our 20 grand would go on owning 25% of a flat in an area we'd never choose.

What can I DO! It's SO frustrating....if we could find a little wreck of a barn with planning permission, we have the skills and patience to do it up...I've even found myself looking at frigging barges and Park Houses...you know...those little trailer park things! Most of those are for retired people with no children.

Why the arse should we continue to rent privately? I just don't want to!

The savings we have have come to us through freakishly good timing so we can't really replicate this amount of money over the next few years and I'm afraid it will all leech away on rent etc...I just want somewhere to call my own.

I think about all those English Heritage wrecks....rotting away...when we could improve and protect them...and other listed buildings which are going to waste. We're willing to be a bit quirky in our lifestyle but have to consider the children which is why a barge isn't really ideal!

OP posts:
newbiefrugalgal · 01/02/2014 23:15

Mortgage companies only cause trouble if you are not meeting payments. And then they go through a lot before throwing you on the streets!

What is rent like compared to mortgage payments?

scottishmummy · 01/02/2014 23:16

Your post has flavour of mc hippy.chained it a bank Oh please,what a dilemma
You don't want to rent?so buy.chain yourself to a big capitalist heartless bank
Given you don't want too rent.you don't want to go to area you'd never chose

Chains it is....

bigtallpurple · 01/02/2014 23:17

Any more thoughts on moving to Australia, OP, as per your recent post? As your DH has family there and you have a decent amount of savings, given the housing situation here maybe you should do it??

Custardo · 01/02/2014 23:19

if you get a mortgage well within your means, one that allows you to take a break would cover unforseen business troubles, you have theoption for going to interest only if you get stuck with finances at any point

HauntedNoddyCar · 01/02/2014 23:20

Some banks will mortgage you to 70. I know because DH was 45 when we took our last mortgage out.

MrsSeanBean1 · 01/02/2014 23:29

Oh boo hoo!! Desperate indeed. Have my very first Biscuit

Custardo · 01/02/2014 23:31

Hmm helpful

Joysmum · 01/02/2014 23:46

Well clearly you have more financial clout than we do with our mortgages given what you can save!

Oh, and I'm 41 this year too and would happily take on more. I hardly think house prices are going to be lower than they are today in 26 years when you retire, you've then got the choice of keeping the house or selling it if you'd gone for an interest only mortgage. Also, in 26 years inflation will mean that your mortgage will get cheaper in relative terms if you stay put and don't trade up. That's what we've done and have invested the extra in more property from pay rises and inflationary gains rather than going for bigger/better home based on today's circumstances.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 00:26

It's like nobody reads the thread...we don't have a big income at all. the money we have/are getting is through luck....not earning potential. It's NOT something we can base our future on. We won't be able to pay a mortgage off...not without extreme discomfort and I suspect banks will laugh us out of the office when they see what we earn!

People are SO fast to judge and for fucks sake. READ THE THREAD PROPERLY.

OP posts:
candycoatedwaterdrops · 02/02/2014 00:41

I read the thread. You weren't clear that you were on a low income, just that you're both self employed. It seems like you're throwing a hissy fit because you don't want to rent.

expatinscotland · 02/02/2014 00:47

I read the thread. What are you on about? You have £10,000 more, and potential for £10,00 more, than many of us can ever see for feeding the fucking leccy and gas metres after rent and council tax.

You want a house with a garden, well, don't we all? Can't do a flat. Well, there goes the neighbourhood. So emigrate, you have that option, and get it. That is far from desperate. Bleating about how the council don't house those with jobs, well, they do, those working on zero hours for NMW chucked out by landlord. Trust me, it's usually no house with a garden. It's a roof over the heads, we make the best of it and do what we can, so we can feed those metres through the winter and try to save a paltry £1000 for the one coming.

expatinscotland · 02/02/2014 00:52

Honestly, you have options. MANY! It can even be a house with a garden.

MidniteScribbler · 02/02/2014 01:02

There comes a point in life that you need to grow up and accept that you need to take responsibility for your own situation. Decide what you actually want from your life, and how you plan to fund your lifestyle in retirement, then figure out a plan on how to get there. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices and take a longer path to get there than have it handed to you on a plate.

trixymalixy · 02/02/2014 01:02

How are you paying your rent? If you can pay rent, you can pay a mortgage. Not getting the angst about mortgages.

Beavie · 02/02/2014 01:06

Jeepers! I've had to move 9 times in the last 9 years due or being stuck in private rentals that have not had secure tenancies, on one occasion I did not find somewhere else to live until the same day that me and my dd had to be out of the last place.

You're in the same boat as everyone else in the land, except you have the advantage of 20 grand at your disposal. Not quite understanding how that could be classed as desperate.

Beavie · 02/02/2014 01:09

Oh, and lived in a mouse infested caravan for 5 years because I was too poor to get a house or flat. Trying digging a hole and shitting in it for 5 years and then talk to me about desperate!

scottishmummy · 02/02/2014 01:51

Op you've stated you can raise £10k in two month being frugal?thats significant
No one self employed has cast iron guarantee of projected earnings.talk mortgage to bank
If self employment too unstable,doesnt suit you.get salaried job instead.regular income.or ride it out self employed

Southpaws · 02/02/2014 02:34

If you are on low income how do you propose saving £10k in 2 months?? I have read the thread but you haven't explained that.

And rent is a commitment similar to a mortgage unless you have a very lenient landlord who doesn't mind a missed payment here and there. I am assuming you have been able to pay a monthly rent, or you would have been kicked out.

You don't want a mortgage, you don't want to rent privately or be given a council house. They are pretty much the only housing options the rest of the population have!

Catsize · 02/02/2014 05:20

OP, no need to be so hostile. People seem to be making valid points and suggestions, based on the info you have given. The confusion I raised in my first post remains.

*What can I DO! It's SO frustrating....

Why the arse should we continue to rent privately? I just don't want to!*

This sounds a bit foot stomping. Like the rest of us, you can rent, or you can buy.
I have had a mortgage for 14yrs and am self-employed. Some months it is a bit scary, but I made compromises in area of choice to begun with and now live in a nice place. It can be done.

I think your have got people's backs up by pleading 'desperation' when you have the equivalent of 40 months' rent on a family home (going by my local prices) and the 'it's not fair' stance.

Can you tell us what you expected to hear please?

Lj8893 · 02/02/2014 05:45

Glad I'm not the only one the doesn't understand the desperation!!

Also, don't ask AIBU if your not prepared to hear that actually YABU.

lunar1 · 02/02/2014 06:16

What do you think the answer is?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 02/02/2014 07:02

Bigtallpurple how much do you think housing costs in Australia????? My mum lives in a 2-bed unit in a medium - but - shabby suburb in Adelaide, one of the cheapest cities, no garden, cheap fittings, 70s style, and it cost me a quarter of a million dollars.

McFox · 02/02/2014 07:17

This doesn't sound like a desperate dilemma to me, it sounds like you have a choice to make. At least go and speak to an advisor first before getting all doom and gloom about it.

brettgirl2 · 02/02/2014 07:20

To get a mortgage you would have to provide 2-3 years accounts of sustainable income. If the money you have is an upsurge in fortune then you are right in thinking this will mean difficulty with mortgage.

I would find another house to rent, concentrate on the business and try and work out what you can reasonably earn/afford in the future. I do know what you mean, dh is self employed and has had a few periods of silly earning and if we'd thought, great we're rich buy a mansion and a porsche we would have ended up bankrupt very fast.

yanbu in that living in rented at 41 isn't a great position but yabu in that you probably are in a position to sort it over the next couple of years.

DolomitesDonkey · 02/02/2014 07:28

maureen I get totally where you're coming from. We're moving next week and I don't want another mortgage (French for death pledge peeps) as I'm 40 and no way am I signing up for 20+ years of chain.

So what we're doing is renting for the time being until we can afford to buy outright.

There's more to life than being at the beck and call of mortgage rates.