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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel absolutely desperate re our housing situation

208 replies

AwfulMaureen · 01/02/2014 20:47

Some may remember my thread worrying about the fact that our Landlord is selling...we got our official notice today...2 months. Fine. I have no hope that the local authority will house us though I will try.

We have some savings...which we can double in the next two months if we save every penny and eat nothing but porridge...which will amount then to 20,000.

I don't want to try for a mortgage as A: We are both 41 and don't want one at this point ...the stress and worry of being chained to a bank is not for me...my sister is always in constant fear of her mortgage provider...and B: I doubt we'd get one anyway as we're both self employed and so not a good bet.

I did look into part ownership but around here the only properties available are flats...upper level flats with no gardens. So our 20 grand would go on owning 25% of a flat in an area we'd never choose.

What can I DO! It's SO frustrating....if we could find a little wreck of a barn with planning permission, we have the skills and patience to do it up...I've even found myself looking at frigging barges and Park Houses...you know...those little trailer park things! Most of those are for retired people with no children.

Why the arse should we continue to rent privately? I just don't want to!

The savings we have have come to us through freakishly good timing so we can't really replicate this amount of money over the next few years and I'm afraid it will all leech away on rent etc...I just want somewhere to call my own.

I think about all those English Heritage wrecks....rotting away...when we could improve and protect them...and other listed buildings which are going to waste. We're willing to be a bit quirky in our lifestyle but have to consider the children which is why a barge isn't really ideal!

OP posts:
FireMaker · 02/02/2014 12:14

Lots of barges cost £30-35 thousand round here.
Or
Static caravans that cost £4000.

Both would have ground rates to cover, but can be lived in all year round.

Where abouts in the country are you?

gotthemoononastick · 02/02/2014 12:20

Hello Maureen...you have the competitive' poorer than you' and green envious being beastly here.I can imagine what you are going through.

DH wondering if you could consider a Mercedes Winnebago?Would they even be allowed here?Hard living on top of each other for a spell,but at least your own and could maybe be a moveable asset?

You can post where you like!

Megrim · 02/02/2014 12:21

Are you considering emigrating Australia as a skilled migrant or as a business owner? Remember that wages aren't comparable to the UK and the cost of living can be much higher. Would suggest having a back up plan if you find it's not for you.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 12:25

Megrim DH is Australian...he's got rights to live there and we've looked into me and my rights and we'd be fine.

Moon I can't imagine who'd be jealous of me! We have bloody nothing apart from a small amount of savings and absolutely NO roots or seemingly ability to make a choice! Grin I don't think we;d be into a winnebago really...I really am struggling and keep having panic attacks. Sad it's making me very anxious...the thought of moving abroad...the though of staying here...it's such a big decision.

OP posts:
ThoughtsPlease · 02/02/2014 12:27

I think it's the title 'feel absolutely desperate re our housing situation' which to me would imply ultimately no house, no money, no means of solving the problem.

When the situation is really rather different to that, decent savings, and the ability to rent or buy another house.

I think most adults can find adult life 'confusing and frightening' at times, you have to deal with it.

But really I think your concerns should not make you feel 'desperate' and apparently so overwhelmed by the normal details of life as an adult.

SolomanDaisy · 02/02/2014 12:30

Do you think this is more about a general anxiety problem and you're just expressing it through your housing situation? You have the same choices as most people, rent or buy, and that doesn't give most people panic attacks.

gotthemoononastick · 02/02/2014 12:31

Beatles 'Let it be' for a bit and a chunk of faith in the fact that things do work out as they should eventually.Even if we keep running headlong into the wrong brick wall!Hard to do I know.

You are doing yourself no good being so anxious and I worry for you... a stranger wishing you all good things.

LadyintheRadiator · 02/02/2014 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairylea · 02/02/2014 12:32

Without meaning to sound horrid, if you keep saying this current level of earning from self employment is unsustainable and a fluke - ie not likely to happen again, then surely one or both of you needs to pack it in and look for a regular employed role somewhere? Then you would be able to pay a mortgage comfortably as long as you didn't buy outside of your comfort zone, and also got mortgage protection in the case of job loss until you found something else should the worst happen...

I don't think anyone is being harsh. I think people are just confused what is so awful about your situation... you're in a great position to buy or rent.

soaccidentprone · 02/02/2014 12:36

Do you have to stay where you are now for work or would something like this? work for you?

It's very near the M1

HaroldLloyd · 02/02/2014 12:38

Honestly if your not sure if your emigrating this is all a moot point.

You would be daft to take on a mortgage or buy a wreck or anything of that nature if you might be emigrating.

Rent a new house and make some decisions and then worry.

scottishmummy · 02/02/2014 12:44

If you find self employment too fraught or unstable get salaried employment
You're v clear what you won't do.but aren't coming up with what you will do
You're not in a desperate situation at all.you don't like your situation,that's different

Chippednailvarnish · 02/02/2014 12:52

we have bloody nothing apart from a small amount of savings and absolutely NO roots or seemingly ability to make a choice!

£20k is not a small amount of savings, there are people who have NOTHING, people who are stuck in shitty B&B accommodation, sleeping 3 people to a room with no cooking facilities.

This is probably one of the most self indulgent, ridiculously self-pitying threads I have ever read. Shame on you.

Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 12:54

Scottish I have been looking for work...but I've been self employed for ten years....I don't seem to be getting very far.

OP posts:
Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 02/02/2014 12:55

Chipped you're probably right. I think I'm getting everything out of proportion due to anxiety. I've been feeling very, very low for some reason.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 02/02/2014 12:57

Maureen all your posts are negative.wont,can't.you need to try reframe your thinking
Either you rent or you buy.it really is simple as that.you're putting obstacle in path
You have £10,000 and ability to make another £10,000. That's not desperate.your fortunate

Chippednailvarnish · 02/02/2014 12:58

Maybe you should get this thread deleted if its not anything more than your anxiety talking, because it's painting you in a very unflattering light - and probably making people who really are up shit creek feel even worse.

Sorry if I were harsh, but your cup is more than half full Smile

BrianTheMole · 02/02/2014 13:02

Get a marine mortgage. With a deposit like that you could get an amazing boat. My friend has three children on her barge and they rent the field next to them with other boat owners. The kids have an amazing life.

princessalbert · 02/02/2014 13:03

you can get a mortgage for less than 25 years.

Ours is 10 years. So we have 6 years to find the balance - or remortgage - or downsize. No problem. and we are both older than you.

we are also self employed ( well, employed by our own company).

We were able to get the mortgage based on 1 year's trading accounts. Banks/mortgage providers are nothing to fear - as long as you pay up, and take adequate insurances.

Renting works for some - it depends on the area, and how you see yourselves living when you are retired. At least if you get a foot on the property ladder you will have a home to live in when you no longer have much of an income.

WhatWouldFreddieDo · 02/02/2014 13:05

It sounds as if anxiety is coming out in this particular issue.

Do one thing: go and talk to a mortgage advisor/broker and see what she says. You may be surprised.

Badvoc · 02/02/2014 13:09

Yes.
I am sure in the cold light of day your op title does now sound a bit OTT?
I do feel for feeling so desperate but surely you can see that, actually you have several options and perhaps the anxiety is due to something else?

NorthernLurker · 02/02/2014 13:09

Being self employed for ten years yet feeling you're not getting very far and having no confidence at all that you can sustain your lifestyle are both signs that the problem here is what you do. You need to do something else that will give you security to base your decisions on. £10,000 in savings is not a small amount but it will be if that's all you have when you are too old to work. Have you any pension at all?

Badvoc · 02/02/2014 13:13

Also you do seem to be ignoring lots of questions from people trying to help...
How would you pay rent after retirement for example?
I am no fan of banks either but if we want a roof over our head in 20 years then a mortgage it must be, as it is for most people.
Perhaps - and I say this gently - you need to decide what your priorities are? Your post seems to go from buying a shell (perhaps not ideal with children) to a canal barge!
Have you seriously looked into the Australia option or is it just a pipe dream?
Have you contacted the embassy etc?
I think you need to rent somewhere for now to give yourself head space and research time.

Viviennemary · 02/02/2014 13:14

I can't see the objection to getting a mortgage if you don't want to privately rent. But I agree it is a difficult decision. You just have to go for the best option your circumstances and salaries allow. I'd look at getting a mortgage and look round at the property available.

janey68 · 02/02/2014 13:28

I have friends who are contractors and sometimes have the capacity to make a load of money really quickly, yet at other times struggle. You need a particular mindset to deal with the potential lack of security. Therefore it seems odd that as a couple you have both chosen this path for a decade when clearly you get scared as panicky about money. There is always the option of becoming employed and maybe not earning the big bucks but having more security. Though having said that, lots of people even in public sector jobs have precious little security nowadays...

You're not in a different position to anyone else tbh, and better off than many. You with rent or buy. You are lucky to have the choice. Also Lucky to have freedom over where you live.

I still fail to see how renting is a better option than buying when you can be kicked out of a rental within 2 months even if you're paying on time