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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel absolutely desperate re our housing situation

208 replies

AwfulMaureen · 01/02/2014 20:47

Some may remember my thread worrying about the fact that our Landlord is selling...we got our official notice today...2 months. Fine. I have no hope that the local authority will house us though I will try.

We have some savings...which we can double in the next two months if we save every penny and eat nothing but porridge...which will amount then to 20,000.

I don't want to try for a mortgage as A: We are both 41 and don't want one at this point ...the stress and worry of being chained to a bank is not for me...my sister is always in constant fear of her mortgage provider...and B: I doubt we'd get one anyway as we're both self employed and so not a good bet.

I did look into part ownership but around here the only properties available are flats...upper level flats with no gardens. So our 20 grand would go on owning 25% of a flat in an area we'd never choose.

What can I DO! It's SO frustrating....if we could find a little wreck of a barn with planning permission, we have the skills and patience to do it up...I've even found myself looking at frigging barges and Park Houses...you know...those little trailer park things! Most of those are for retired people with no children.

Why the arse should we continue to rent privately? I just don't want to!

The savings we have have come to us through freakishly good timing so we can't really replicate this amount of money over the next few years and I'm afraid it will all leech away on rent etc...I just want somewhere to call my own.

I think about all those English Heritage wrecks....rotting away...when we could improve and protect them...and other listed buildings which are going to waste. We're willing to be a bit quirky in our lifestyle but have to consider the children which is why a barge isn't really ideal!

OP posts:
ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 02/02/2014 07:34

I don't know what area you're in, but our mortgage on a three bedroom house in a nice area costs us less than the rent on our little one bedroom flat in a less nice area. With a decent deposit your mortgage payments might be easier to afford than rent?

As it stands I think this falls well and truly into the category of Not A Massive Problem and I think you need to visit Ye Olde Grip Shoppe.

LiegeAndLief · 02/02/2014 07:59

Well, really you're going to have to suck it up, because when it comes to housing we all have the choice of renting, mortgage or buying outright (or something like shared ownership which is really a combination of renting and mortgage). You can't afford to buy outright so, like most other people, your choice is mortgage or rent.

You don't want a mortgage and are worried that you wouldn't get one anyway. In that case, the answer to why the arse you should continue renting is so that you can have somewhere to live, because there is no magic fairy dust that creates houses from nothing (or even £20,000, unless apparently you live in Accrington).

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 02/02/2014 08:00

Op I read the thread properly and made three suggestions. You posted in aibu and mentioned 20k savings - a figure most of us can only dream of. There's really no reason for you to be so rude.

Have you actually spoken to a mortgage adviser? If you can show you're paying x amount of rent on time each month then you'll have the evidence you need that you can afford a mortgage.

Otherwise you know the only alternative: find another private rent. It woukd be a disgrace if you were allowed HA housing with those savings.

DontmindifIdo · 02/02/2014 08:06

OP - I do sort of understand, if you have a sister who is struggling to pay her mortgage and people in your life who are mortgaged are struggling, whereas those who are renting aren't, it might look like mortgages are only for the rich - however, what you have to remember is that until very recently, mortgages where often lent that just weren't affordable. When we looked to buy in 2008 (just before things all went a bit wrong in the economy), we were offered £200k more than we ended up borrowing a year later when we finally bought somewhere. We could live in a much larger house, but we did the sums ourselves and decided it would be a struggle to pay it back once we had DCs. (As it was, by 2009, mortgage providors were being far more sensible, and the amount we wanted to borrow was now pretty much the limit to what they would lend us, even though DH had recieved a sizeable payrise in the interim).

Your sister might be worrying about how to pay a mortgage, but believe me, as she is a home owner, it's a hell of a lot harder for the bank to get her out of that house if she stops paying her mortgage than it is for a landlord to get you out if you stopped paying. Most recently, there's been a lot of changes to make it very hard for banks to evict owners, which is probably the only reason we've not seen anywhere near the number of reposessions at this recession as we did at the last (I knew so many families when I was growing up who had to move in the 90s recession, I don't know anyone who's gone through it this time round, even though I know quite a few people who were made redundant)

What you need to do is in the same way you would with renting a flat, work out what you can afford to pay each month, personally with a mortgage, I'd aim for a little less on the understanding rates can go up, and if you have 2-3 years of accounts, go to see your bank (it's usually easier with the bank you already have your accounts with) to see what they would lend you and the rate.

If you got a 20 year mortgage, you would have paid it off by 61, when are you planning on retiring? At least this way you wouldn't be trying to pay rent out of your pension. If you get a 25 year term, you would be close to paying it off anyway by 65, it wouldn't be that long to pay out of your pension.

Another thought worth remembering, that your mortgage payment stays pretty much the same - bar changes in interest rates, however rents tend to go up with inflation. What might sound a lot in 2014, might sound very little in 2034, whereas a rent on a similar property might be similar now, but will go up with inflation by then (or to put it another way, the monthly repayments my parents were paying when they started their mortgage was a huge amount for them to find, by the end of 25 years, it had gone from being c40% of their monthly income to being c4% of their monthly income, yet what they paid had only flutated by about £50 a month)

This is not to say you should get a mortgage if you really don't want to, but perhaps accept that you do need to pay for your housing one way or another, if you don't have the funds to buy something without credit, and don't want take out a loan so you can buy something outright, then you will have to rent it. Foot stamping will not put a roof over your head.

DontmindifIdo · 02/02/2014 08:13

Oh and while your sister's plight should factor in your plans about checking what's affordable, not just what's being offered, it might be worth looking at it like your dsis took a different loan from the bank (which is all a mortgage is). Perhaps say, you need a van for your business, you can't afford it buy it outright, but your sister took a car loan for a porche which she's struggling to pay back each month and can't get as much back for the car as she paid in the first place. Would you really look at your sister's case and think "it's not worth me getting a van because the exact same thing will happen to me?" or would you look and think "hmm, I do need a van, but after seeing what's happened to my sister, I should aim to get the cheapest possible that suits my needs, not the most expensive and make sure I only get a loan I can definately repay each month, even if the bank would let me borrow more"?

I know making choices can be hard, but that's a shit part of being a grown up, you have to sort stuff yourself. There's rarely easy answers.

PumpkinPositive · 02/02/2014 08:19

AwfulMaureen, I too am self employed (in addition am usually chasing for money since clients tend to pay when the spirit moves them, rather than on completion of a job). Have home owned since age 30 in 2009, as a singleton on a self employed salary. By no means is it a "big" salary yet the banks were willing to give me a mortgage and I've never defaulted.
I have never come close to being able to save £10k, let alone doubling it within the space of two months - whether by luck or endeavour.

Have you and your husband actually applied for a mortgage to see what the response would be? Are you just guessing? Plenty of self employed people on medium incomes have mortgages.

If your combined income is so low that even with a £20k deposit, you're convinced the banks would not lend - how on earth do you manage in a private rental at the moment??

chrome100 · 02/02/2014 08:23

I'm sorry but YABU. You are not in a desperate situation at all! I will never be able to afford to buy, nor can I afford to rent with just DP and I. We have to flat share. No, not ideal, but it's LIFE.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle · 02/02/2014 08:25

Your situation is not desperate stall. Stop being so silly. Do some research in your area then make decision.

I can't abide all this fake desperation.

DrNick · 02/02/2014 08:26

Oh buy a house fgs

ediblewoman · 02/02/2014 08:35

Have you looked at the new government mortgage guarantor schemes? Not just for new builds.

(And btw whether it was poor explanation or an inability to think about peoe outside of your own experience you did come across as entitled in your OP, I am sure you didn't mean to.)

Feminine · 02/02/2014 08:39

op am I right in thinking you got this £20k through good fortune, and not hard work. Well any work Wink?

I can understand that you may worry that you will never have that kind of money again.

how much rent do you pay at the moment.

With £20 k you should be able to get a nice home somewhere, probably for a smaller repayment than you do with renting.

I must stress though, you really have no idea about genuine housing need.

Jinty64 · 02/02/2014 08:46

op if you are earning a pittance how are you paying rent? Are you paying rent or is it being payed for you? Is this why you think getting another rental property will be a problem?

If you are paying rent at the moment and have £20,000 (or will in the next two months) then you have choices.

How many children do you have? What ages?

PenelopePitstops · 02/02/2014 08:53

How the fuck do you pay rent?

There's your mortgage payment.

PumpkinPositive · 02/02/2014 08:58

Or if Accrington doesn't suit, how about a wee flit up the road to the west of Scotland? Plenty of properties going for £20k and under here (even a dilapidated detached cottage). And you both being freelancers surely won't be as tied to one geographical location as salaried types. May have to compromise on the "upper flat" though. Grin

www.futurepropertyauctions.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=87006
www.futurepropertyauctions.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=90814
www.futurepropertyauctions.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=85085
www.futurepropertyauctions.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=90984
www.futurepropertyauctions.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=87618
www.futurepropertyauctions.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=79951

UptheChimney · 02/02/2014 09:01

YABU, and actually incomprehensible.

You're 41. You can get a 25 year mortgage and pay it off a couple of years before retirement age (which is now 67). There are two of you -- I've paid a mortgage as a single parent since I was widowed at 33. I wanted the security. And after a couple of years, a mortgage is generally less than rent, although you have to factor in maintenance costs.

So I just don't get why you're desperate. You're actually in a quite privileged position compared with a lt of people.

So go visit the Grip Shop.

Badvoc · 02/02/2014 09:04

Dh and I got a 25 year mortgage when we were 39.
Not ideal but needs must.
We had a £20k deposit.
It can be done.
You just don't want to.
Hardly a dilemma is it?
Just stay in rented if being a Slavs to Interst Rates bothers you that much (although of course any LL you may have will be too and adjust their rents accordingly!)

Ragwort · 02/02/2014 09:04

Agree with Penelope - you are paying rent, surely you can buy a house where the mortgage payments are similar (if not less) than rent, then when the mortgage is paid off you own the house.

Most of us will have to work well into our 70s now, that is just the way it is.

And how would you pay the rent once you have 'retired' if you have no income Confused.

Sorry if I am missing something but can't really understand your 'dilema'.

ExcuseTypos · 02/02/2014 09:06

If you gave a bit of info, people could tell you if you're likely to get a morgage.

What's your average yearly income?
Whats your rent at the moment?

Chippednailvarnish · 02/02/2014 09:11

Ye Olde Grip Shoppe Grin

So OP instead of throwing a strop are you going to explain the points raised on this thread?
Like why paying a mortgage is any different to paying rent?
What are you planning to do about paying the rent when you retire?

Because so far you've made very little sense and just got most peoples backs up moaning about savings of £20k (an amount most people won't ever see).

kungfupannda · 02/02/2014 09:11

People are reading the thread - it just isn't making much sense.

You say you have savings through good timing - inheritance or similar, I assume? But you also say you can double this to £20,000 over the next couple of months by living frugally. The reasonable assumption for people to make is that you therefore have a good enough income to save a large amount of money in a few weeks. If that's not the case, then it's difficult for people to understand your situation.

In any event, you are in a good situation at the moment, compared to a lot of people. You are in a position to put together, by whatever means, a deposit for a house. This may get you a mortgage and then you will eventually own your home.

If you don't want to do that, then you will be able to get a private rental as you have an income, a deposit and presumably a good renting history. You will also have a cushion in case of something going wrong.

These are options that many people will never have. You are not stuck or desperate - you just don't want to try the obvious route, and you don't like the option you've been taking so far. Everyone has to choose one of the limited number of housing options, and you have more flexibility than most people.

If you give more information about your situation, then people might be able to make some specific suggestions.

bigtallpurple · 02/02/2014 09:13

Tortoise, I know exactly how much housing costs in Australia, thanks. I was asking OP whether she had any more thoughts on moving out there (she started a thread a couple of weeks ago about whether or not she should go). As she has family out there (who I think she said would rent a house out to them), and savings to allow her to actually make the move, I thought it was relevant to her current housing situation.

WeAreDetective · 02/02/2014 09:17

It seems to me that your best bet is to go to a mortgage adviser and find out what you actually could get and how long it would take to pay off.

Until you do that, you can't possibly know what the worry might be.

If it turns out to be a problem (either because they won't lend or because you can't pay it back) then look to renting again.

Privately renting really is the only alternative you have to buying.

But you have some time to start the ball rolling. Tbh with 2 months notice you'd probably have to rent in the short term anyway, even if you chose to try to buy, because of the time it usually takes to find and buy.

birdsnotbees · 02/02/2014 09:31

I am self-employed. I have a mortgage. As long as you can provide a few year's accounts there's no reason you can't get a mortgage. And I have never lived in fear of paying that mortgage either. Unless you take on a huge mortgage, why would you worry about it?

Sure, being self-employed offers less stability than a "proper" job but tbh in the recession, having a portfolio of clients is more reassuring than having just one employer who, if they have you the boot, would mean you had no money coming in at all.

You could easily get mortgage and pay it off by retirement, thus giving yourself more stability in old age thAn if you continued to rent. But for whatever reason you've convinced yourself that mortgages are the work of the devil. They're not you know Wink

SelectAUserName · 02/02/2014 09:35

Wow, a chippy, snippy, snappy OP who is having a tantrum because life hasn't waved its magic wand and given her the keys to a nice house in a nice area with a nice garden. And yet still the nest of vipers is trying to help and offer solutions.

OP, you have options. They may not be perfect options, they may not be first choice options but they are a damned sight more numerous and appealing than many people have.

One or both of you could give up the flexibility of self-employment and look for a better-paid salaried job.

You could relocate to an area with affordable Help To Buy homes and take out a 20-year mortgage on one of those with a 5% deposit, which would still leave a chunk of your £20k savings intact.

You can continue privately renting with the possibility of finding a nicer rental house than you could afford to buy. It wouldn't be your property but the lifestyle would be yours.

You can put the lottery on each week and hope that you win millions to do what the hell you want.

Or you can whine and stamp your feet and come across as a very immature and entitled 41-year-old.

SelectAUserName · 02/02/2014 09:37

And I'm sorry, but feeling "absolutely desperate" about a situation in which you actually have a number of choices, a sizeable chunk of cash and time in which to plan your next move is downright insulting to those who have none of those things. Maybe step back and regain a sense of perspective?