For those of you with 'bright' children, do you take the credit for it ....

[sandyballs]

..... or believe it's pot luck. I'm sick of hearing about a friend's 'genius' child and how it is all down to her parenting.

I know we can help by encouraging reading, blah blah, not constant screens etc, but it is pot luck isn't it really. If it's not how do you explain very different siblings, some who struggle, some who thrive academically yet have been brought up in the same way. This kid is an only btw.

I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but she winds me up and I'm curious as to what MN think.

Interesting. She's being a twat then, as I thought.

Kid is in year 8, not primary. He's doing well but is made to feel superior to the 'thickos' - seriously, that word is used!

I think I'd prefer a child who struggled a bit but had kindness and empathy for others.

My post should have said 'both their father and I are (I guess) intelligent.' Although clearly I am rubbish at typing!

DC1 had much more input than DC2 from me when she was little but DC2's predicted grades at school are better than hers...

littledrummer I think a healthy work ethic and self discipline are things that a parent can help with.

Again, some people are naturally full of both, but they are both habits that can be adopted.

Just seen he's 13.

Well as the custodian of a similar aged boy, there is a certain amount of parental pushing required to get our son to develop a decent attitude to presentation of work and to balance schoolwork and even general reading with his innate desire to loaf about playing games.

I don't take pride in this. It's a drag and I wish I could leave him to it.

Daffodil owner of a slightly soiled 14 year old here.

And yes, I think I do have to take a certain amount of credit for keeping said bright boy on the road to success. DH says I stand between DS and the abyss .

Ho yes, totes from my side of the family.

My 2 are both very bright - I credit CBeebies and Dora all the bedtime stories I've read them.

Thickos is the kind of thing I rant at my eldest NOT to say!

Honestly though it takes all sorts to make a world. Let it go.

I think parents can sometimes take credit for achievement.

Wordfactory I quite agree and it can be bloody hard going at times however I think all of mine are well on their way.
Brightness seems to be an accident of birth!

I think most teens need that guidance to do the best with what they've got, academic or not.

littledrummer I keep telling myself that in three and a half years I will release mine into the wild.

This keeps me going.

Also, that I know if I don't keep going and DS ends up in the gutter, I will be full of self loathing. If he ends up in the gutter despite my best efforts, I retire to the sun with a clear heart.

When you have more than one child it makes you realise what such a big role nature has when it comes to children's ablities. This study is ethically repungant but it will be interesting when the results are revealed in 2066

www.npr.org/2007/10/25/15629096/identical-strangers-explore-nature-vs-nurture

Personally I believe that good parenting and schooling brings out the best in children. Giving a children a good diet, plenty of sleep, clear routine, a language rich enviromnent, reading stories and attention makes children develop quicker. Conversely I believe that extreme child abuse can cause learning difficulties in otherwise healthy children.

It's a bit of both really. Innate intelligence is what they're born with, but committed, involved parenting in support of school based education gives children of any background an avdvantage in life.

It depends what you mean by "bright" - intelligence or knowledge? In my view, intelligence is something that comes from the genes (or the child themselves), but knowledge is something that can be nurtured and encouraged at home, in school, etc.

I fully agree with ReallyTired's comment - " good parenting and schooling brings out the best in children" regardless of how intelligent they are.

My DC are clones of me - they are pulling in the same (decent) marks at school, and have the same euphemistic concerns raised about their questionable social skills and neuroses.

I don't take either to heart really. Just think I'm well placed to parent kids who I have so much in common with!

"Conversely I believe that extreme child abuse can cause learning difficulties in otherwise healthy children."

While I think that no-one doubts that extreme child abuse is likely to hinder a child's learning, I wonder a great deal about children who, while materially quite comfortable, are emotionally neglected. Withdrawal and lack of engagement with the wider world, while not necessarily causing severe learning problems, can hinder progress.

For me, with dd2 age 8 its both.

2 years ago, she struggled to read fluently, her writing and spelling was shocking and she was in the lower groups for all school subjects.

over the last year she has turned into a very keen, self driven little girl. She is now in all the top subject groups and reads, writes and spells at a year 6 level.

She did this, i had no real part in her huge development (except read, times tables, spellings, hw etc with her). Her natural growth turned her into a little sponge and gave her the ability to listen to a basic principle and apply it to everything.

That said though, she has reached a point where she has far exceeded her age in maths challenges her school do as her class havent covered the work yet. so i am teaching her all about fractions, percentages, decimals etc to help her move on.

so any progress she makes in this area going forward would be partly my doing iyswim.

But i wouldnt ever take credit for anything she a achieves. She should have the credit. It is after all, her hard work and effort that has paid off.

Iv just re-read my last post and realised it comes across a bit boastful. Not how it was intended. Sorry.

*mamachelle, no not boastful at all.

I know where you are coming from, my dd is similar, I think sometimes when something twigs they can come on in leaps and bounds.
You may well end up with a G&T child. I agree, you have to give them the credit.

My now deceased mother was what would now be considered G & T. Everyone remembers her being effortlessly excellent at anything she put her hand to. She was also very charming and a wonderful witty conversationalist and used those traits to manipulate people around her. The downside was she never learnt to work at anything. The rest of my family are above average, but not spectacular. At the risk of sounding like one of those parents, toddler DS is very intelligent and articulate for his age and I do wonder if something of my mother has skipped a generation. I don't take satisfaction in this - it actually scares me because of how much my mother messed up her life.

Hmm nature ... nurture who knows!

The other thing this thread hasn't addressed which interests me a lot with all the amazing MN prodigy children, is whether they progress further over all simply get their earlier IYSWIM!

Do these "G+T" kids reach A level standard at 15 and really become academic mathematicians outstanding in their field by 21, or do they hit A level standard at 15 and then a 2:1 degree at 21?

I'm sure a lot of what we see is middle class children with excellent home support reaching their potential well and easily, earlier than the kids from the council estate, BUT those "estate" kids who seem less able at primary for all the cliched reasons of no books at home etc may do just as well but get their slower?

Does that make sense?