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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your DH complained that the shower was dirty

88 replies

Finabhear · 27/01/2014 11:06

Would you,
a/ point him in he direction of the cleaning products and think no more about it
b/ take it as criticism
c/ shrug, so what, its on the to do list?
d/ any other suggestions?

I think I should have chose a. but I actually did b.

I do most of the cleaning in our house mainly because my tolerance for dirt is lower that DH's.

Still quietly steaming to myself but am IBU?

OP posts:
Binkyridesagain · 27/01/2014 11:07

my response would be 'and?' with a shoulder shrug.

hanginginthere1 · 27/01/2014 11:08

Probably all four!

PrimalLass · 27/01/2014 11:08

These:

a/ point him in he direction of the cleaning products
b/ take it as criticism

riksti · 27/01/2014 11:09

A/ definitely. Even before I was pregnant. We both work so both have equal house cleaning duties. If one of us has a problem then we both know where cleaning products are kept.

akachan · 27/01/2014 11:09

Completely depends on the division of labour in your house I suppose. I don't do any cleaning at all to be honest. I do earning the money and the cooking and shopping. So I suppose I might say something needed a clean. Although actually I never have. But then my DH has a lower tolerance for dirt than me so unlikely to arise.

Sorry that wasn't very helpful was it?

Starballbunny · 27/01/2014 11:10

He has to be dragged into the shower.
He'd never comment.
In any case he promised to order black spray and sort mould several years ago.

NigellasDealer · 27/01/2014 11:10

b) take it as criticism - why is he even mentioning it to you if it is not criticism?

eurochick · 27/01/2014 11:10

Yep, it depends on the division of labour. In our house, it would mean which of us is going to have a chat with the cleaner, as neither of us cleans!

Starballbunny · 27/01/2014 11:10

Bleach

IWantToBePippiLongstocking · 27/01/2014 11:10

I'd wonder what Alien took over his body. After assuring that he really is for real, I'd ask him if he cleaned it then. He already knows where the cleaning stuff is so no need for pointing.

I'm similar to you in that I see the dirt more than DH but he certainly doesn't expect me to clean anymore than him.

YANBU

WilsonFrickett · 27/01/2014 11:11

I would go for e/ don't let the dirty shower curtain bang your arse on the way out love. And then a/ (but I'd probably do that through the medium of mime so as to avoid the swearing fit that would otherwise ensue).

Lottiedoubtie · 27/01/2014 11:11

I'd do d)

Faint in shock that he'd noticed and then a).

Certainly not B, why would it be my job?

MrsCakesPremonition · 27/01/2014 11:12

I would want to do a) but would actually do c).

Seff · 27/01/2014 11:12

I might hand him a cloth. If I was feeling nice.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 27/01/2014 11:12

I would say yes. It is. You know where the bleach is. Have fun.

capsium · 27/01/2014 11:13

I think sometimes married couples fall into established roles. Me and my DH have. It is generally accepted he empties the bins! Grin

So if you have taken on the role of cleaner, he may just be responding to this.

However all the cleaning is a big task to take on, so understandable something might be dirty before you get round to cleaning it.

The crux of the issue is is how would he respond to you pointing him in the direction of the cleaning products because you'd not got around to it? If negative, I think you need to renegotiate your roles so the house can be up to his cleanliness standards!

Bonsoir · 27/01/2014 11:13

It would depend who had made it dirty!

fuzzywuzzy · 27/01/2014 11:13

so did you clean the bathroom for his majesty?

PrincessScrumpy · 27/01/2014 11:14

haha dh wouldn't dare but depends if it's seen as your job. My dh is in charge of filing but hasn't done any since August so there is a pile beside the filing tins. I did loose my temper and have a go at him about it when I couldn't find something. In our house cleaning is shared but overall I do downstairs and dh ignores upstairs until once a month he notices the dust. I do the main bathroom (otherwise it wouldn't be cleaned) and dh supposedly does our en suite. But that's all very vague so I would expect dh to clean the shower if he noticed it was dirty (although I'd be fairly shocked he noticed). He would tell me about it an expect praise though!

FutTheShuckUp · 27/01/2014 11:14

F/ Shove the shower head up his lazy arse

MothratheMighty · 27/01/2014 11:15

We have four adults in the house, so it's expected that after you've showered or bathed, you give the tub a quick once-over.
So if it was anything along those lines, he'd be complaining to the last person to use it.
Anything more detailed like grubby grout or mould, gets passed on to DD as that's her department.

whereisshe · 27/01/2014 11:16

I'd be impressed that he noticed! Before we got a cleaner he did all the cleaning so I wouldn't be cleaning it.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 27/01/2014 11:19

Say, "well, you know where the cleaning stuff is" and think no more of it. I do the majority of the cleaning as I work P/T, but if he's not happy with the standard of cleanliness, he's more than welcome to either a) do it himself after work, or b) pay a cleaner to come in and do it for him.

As he can't afford option B, I would suggest he quits his whining unless he wants me to start doing nothing!

BohemianGirl · 27/01/2014 11:21

Depends. Were you the last one to use it and left it in a minging state? It's only manners to leave it as you would wish to find it

ScrambledSmegs · 27/01/2014 11:22

A). Sort of. I'd tell him he knows where the cleaning products are, and since I wipe down the shower every time I use it that it's his mess, his problem.

He wouldn't say that to me though. He recently left a pile of snot in the shower and I trod in it, so he has no right to berate me for my standards of cleanliness ever.