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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your DH complained that the shower was dirty

88 replies

Finabhear · 27/01/2014 11:06

Would you,
a/ point him in he direction of the cleaning products and think no more about it
b/ take it as criticism
c/ shrug, so what, its on the to do list?
d/ any other suggestions?

I think I should have chose a. but I actually did b.

I do most of the cleaning in our house mainly because my tolerance for dirt is lower that DH's.

Still quietly steaming to myself but am IBU?

OP posts:
marzipanned · 27/01/2014 11:22

I would give it a scrub as DH wants me to fire our cleaning lady because to be fair she's not very good but I don't have the guts.

janeyjampot · 27/01/2014 11:23

Outwardly, (a), inwardly (b). However, mine can't see anything without his glasses so has no idea what the inside of the shower looks like :)

LoveWine · 27/01/2014 11:23

Pfff definitely point him in the direction of the cleaning products. He's got a nerve.

LoveWine · 27/01/2014 11:24

Or better still - ask him to hire a cleaner.

AnyFucker · 27/01/2014 11:24

SS, I am sorry to break this to you, but that was not "snot"

NigellasDealer · 27/01/2014 11:25
Grin
capsium · 27/01/2014 11:25

Or say, 'That's it we definitely need a new bathroom!' Grin

Misspixietrix · 27/01/2014 11:26

D) "you know where the cleaning stuff is kept if it's n bothering you that much" Grin.

WilsonFrickett · 27/01/2014 11:27

Eugh. Not snot.

Original poster
Finabhear · 27/01/2014 11:27

What happened is that I threw a wobbly then went into a cleaning frenzy. To be fair he apologised and meekly helped with the cleaning Grin. I hate cleaning the shower as it is a small space that you have to climb into in order to clean it properly so it rarely gets done but everyone who uses it squeegies it after.
Division of labour is relavent here and we have just fallen into roles - he shops, we share the cooking, I clean. He works full time I work part time and fetch and carry the DC.

OP posts:
IShallCallYouSquishy · 27/01/2014 11:28

B/ criticism

I'm a bit of a clean freak especially about bathrooms. It's more likely he would be saying it thinking he was funny. I'm 35 weeks pregnant though so at the moment would probably cry and throw a strop asking how can he expect me to do everything while looking after a toddler and pregnant!

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 27/01/2014 11:28

I would be in your DH position, when using the bath/ shower in my home it's a rule that you leave it clean for the next person to use.

If I want a bath and DH have left soap scum and hairs in the bath I direct him to the cleaning cupboard.

ShoeWhore · 27/01/2014 11:28

I'd tell him to f off and clean it himself tbh - so a ruder version of (a) I guess Grin

GinOnTwoWheels · 27/01/2014 11:29

E/ He wouldn't complain that the shower is dirty, as cleaning the bathroom is his job, so if it's not clean, he only has his self to blame.

ScrambledSmegs · 27/01/2014 11:31

AF I can assure you, it was! He had a cold so it was a lovely fluorescent greeny-yellow. I would have been marginally less disgusted if it was jizz too Grin.

He also showers with the kids and me in the room, no way would he be cracking one out in front of us!

TorcBasilandLime · 27/01/2014 11:31

My x used to do that all the time, notice things were dirty and tell me, drove me crazy. But even though I knew he was being a dick, it was still criticism, which fair or not, was upsetting and soured the atmosphere.

That was my first husband though. Obviously if I got married again, I'd handle everything very differently. If I were in a relationship now and partner/husband said something like that to me, then the very first time, I'd "catch it" and tell him to clean it so. I know it's difficult when old habits and patterns are established.

higgle · 27/01/2014 11:31

We divide the house up between us to clean - he does downstairs and I do upstairs, we take it in turns to do the kitchen. If the shower wasn't clean I would expect him to tell me and I'd sort it out, just as I expected him to sort it out when ancient dog peed on new rug. I clean our showers named, its the only way.

Crowler · 27/01/2014 11:33

ScrambledSmegs did you start a thread about that? I remember that one and I couldn't get it out of my mind.

I'd be shocked and irritated if my husband commented on the state of anything's cleanliness in our house. He is more in the "can you please stop cleaning" camp.

ScrambledSmegs · 27/01/2014 11:34

Yes Crowler. Yes, I did.

It was traumatising.

katatonic · 27/01/2014 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crowler · 27/01/2014 11:36

I was traumatized by proxy, so I can imagine. Poor you.

HandragsNGladbags · 27/01/2014 11:38

DH once commented on the dust on the skirting board. I suggested he sack the cleaner whilst glaring. He laughed nervously and never mentioned anything around dusting ever again...

AnyFucker · 27/01/2014 11:39

If you say so, SS Wink

Theas18 · 27/01/2014 11:39

"theas18 the shower is dirty"

"DH give it a quick whisk round with the spray then before you get dressed"

Shower cleaned. no offence taken on either part.

Actually more likely what with happen would be "THeas18 the shower was dirty so I gave it a go over when I was in there" .

Cleaning s such a non event to us that noone takes any offence about it being done/not being done, bar me occasionally telling the teens "I'm doing the bathroom as it's vile, as I'm knackered with someone hoover the living room please" and they usually do

whatever5 · 27/01/2014 11:42

I would be quite pleased but I know DH wouldn't point out that anything was dirty as then he would have to clean it. His way of avoiding housework is to pretend it doesn't need doing.