If your DH complained that the shower was dirty

[Finabhear]

Would you,
a/ point him in he direction of the cleaning products and think no more about it
b/ take it as criticism
c/ shrug, so what, its on the to do list?
d/ any other suggestions?

I think I should have chose a. but I actually did b.

I do most of the cleaning in our house mainly because my tolerance for dirt is lower that DH's.

Still quietly steaming to myself but am IBU?

AF, out of interest when did I become SS to you?

I weep for the days when you called me Smegs, weep I tell you.

I got older, and lazier.

and the juxtaposition of typing "smegs" and thinking about skidding on spaff on the floor of the shower was more than my Monday morning stomach could handle...

A or C. DH will sometimes say "Do you think you might get a chance to clean/tidy/sort X today?" when on his way to work. But equally he's more likely to know where the cleaning stuff is than me.

I think when you take something on as your job then it becomes a self worth thing if it isn't appreciated and this is especially true for women and cleaning, just because of the history (housewives' worth being in the state of their house, women being judged as "slatterns" or the old non-sexual derogatory meaning of "slut" - both gendered!)

If it's more of a shared responsibility like e.g. it would be in a shared student house (more of a non responsibility ) you don't get the feeling of being criticised. If you were sharing a house and your housemate said "Ew, this shower is bogging" then you'd probably agree and shrug and then later see who draws the short straw about cleaning it. Nobody would feel criticised, because it's not their self worth which is being called into question.

Next time, Give him a toothbrush (not his), cleaner, and say "Of ya pop then love".

id say who do you think i am, your mother?

I'd lo

I'd be pleased if he noticed and just cleaned it.

I wouldn't be pleased if he complained though!

I would take it as a dig at me and then catch myself and realise that actually, our house contains two able bodied adults who both use the shower and I would say "erm....so clean it then?!"

I'd look, agree it needed a clean and then go off to put the kettle on. I much prefer people to say what they mean than imply it these days.

Answer A.

But who left it like that? If it was me (unlikely) then I'd feel a bit guilty, but the answer stands, after all he seems to have decided that since I'm home and he's a bit tired (poor love) that I get to do all the housework (ha! more fool him! I ignore it too :D)

Combination of A and B.

I'd definately take it as a dig, otherwise why not just get the bleach and a cloth and deal with it yourself?

I mean, if I saw the shower was dirty, I'd deal with it, I wouldn't feel the need to announce it

a) definitely.

c) followed, by a) if there was any retort.

If your DH complained that the shower was dirty

I would phone the police after knocking that person out, because clearly it would be an impersonator.

as my husband is not stupid enough to say that to me.

without the words, "and I am just about to clean it" added to end of the sentence.

the death penalty is consquences are attached to any failed to clean up after oneself in this house anyway, so it would only happen if the person who had last used the shower had suffered a fatal accident, before they had had a chance to clean.

I just wish that I had the poise to go for option a/ even if I felt criticised on the inside.

No, I wish I didn't feel criticised as I don't think (in hindsight) that he meant to criticise but my defences seem to be sky high atm.

Smeg DH used to gob in the kitchen sink that has now stopped! And, yes, that really did traumatise me.

LTB

La Guardia post number 69, thats got to be a MN record surely?

Death stare.

If ever a comment like this is made I say "I'll be doing it on Friday (my cleaning day) unless you want to do it sooner". Somewtimes he does clean bits of bathroom but he does it weirdly by rubbing dry toilet paper over the stain rather than using any cleaning products

I wouldn't have to do any of the four. Cleaning the bathrooms is DHs job already. We both work full time so the chores are all shared. I usually take care of cleaning the kitchen and mopping the floor while he is doing the bathrooms. I pay DD to hoover the whole house.

Death state here as well, followed up with a verbal attack on how I'd have far more time if he did/didn't insert a long list of my own grieviences against him here

Regardless of the division of labour in anyone's house, if a grown adult notices that something is dirty then they should f**ing-well clean it, not casually mention it to the other grown adult in the house and consider their part done!

And yes, I'm looking at you DP

I would say 'is it?'