ChocolateWombat - I didn't say the entire movement was like that, I asked what was in place to prevent what things like that happening because it did happen to us in our one unit no matter how unlikely or exaggerated you think it is.
I don't drive, so most of the time I just sat outside. I tried volunteering, but was told they had plenty and got them from church members (I found it odd that they preferred men from the church rather than mothers wanting to volunteer, though they did usually have 2-3 volunteers each week, quite good for a group of 8 girls). I still clearly recall the prayer discussing how 'your world was a lovely place to be, thank you God for making me' and had long conversations with DD1 about why it was 'Father, Son and Holy Spirit' and why it didn't include mothers or daughters. I wasn't actually bothered by that, I just find the repeated comments that it's not religious to ring hollow from our experience, our problem was with how connected it was with the church and how isolated from everything those who were not church members were made to feel. When she joined I asked about church parade, which in her group was monthly at least, because I'm not British and didn't know what it was - I was just told that because I was a member of a different faith that I didn't need to go. End of conversation. All my other questions on it were answered with how we didn't need to go when all I wanted to know was what it was so I knew what to do, I wanted to make sure DD1 was prepared, and was made to feel very unwelcome (particularly in how she gestured to my cloth cap when she mentioned different faith, though my headcovering isn't religious).
At the end of each term there was trip, and each time the plan changed and somehow they could only get in touch with church members. Every time. I brought this up, I was brushed off, I asked to check the details on her sheet which were right in front of her in her case and was refused repeatedly. I remember the last one was the park practically next to our house and I went with DD for hours, multiple days in a row, waiting for them to show up - they never did, they had changed parks. It was quite rough for DD1 because she would get so excited and then...nothing. She felt like she was being excluded because something was wrong with her. And I work and educate from home, missing me at home is quite hard.
I saw my daughter's bullying first hand, she was there for almost a year (started in September, left in June). One of the biggest incidents was DD1 being told that she was disgusting for not going to church, my daughter is literally standing next to me in tears, sobbing, gasping to speak, and the leader just said that my daughter wasn't really upset and that there was nothing wrong in the doorway where everyone heard it. Her father went with her the next week to try to clear things up, and he was told nothing had happened and brushed aside all the concerns brought up to her. That was last June when we pulled her because I didn't think it was good for her to go to a place and repeatedly come home in tears that weren't even being recognised let alone addressed. It made the previous times she'd come out upset and been brushed off quite concerning in hindsight after that incident.
She still gets upset and asks why those girls didn't want to play with her now, she still thinks its her fault, that something was wrong with her, and pines sometimes for one girl in the group that talked to her that had moved up to Brownies while she was there, even though DD1's moved on to other activities and friends since. No matter how unlikely one thinks or how exaggerated it could be, it was a really painful, hurtful experience for DD1, it really knocked her self esteem and confidence. She went from a real social butterfly to being really anxious, panicky, and worried about being wrong and not doing good enough. Might just be her development, but my original post was hoping there are safeguards in place to help stop and prevent isolation and bullying happening to anyone else because it was heartbreaking for us, it was not meant as a reflection on the movement as a whole.