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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want friends to come to mine for a reunion?

533 replies

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 26/01/2014 10:51

This is more of a WWYD than a AIBU, but here goes:

There's 6 of them coming over with kids and a few husbands too. They're my friends from uni and I've kept in touch with all of them over the years, some more than others. There have been times times when we've fallen out of touch for a few months or a year. They're not my closest friends; I hung around with another bunch but these were my classmates so I was on good terms wih them. I like them but to be honest, I don't love them.

There are a few who I have also fallen out with over the years and made up with again. One in particular, I'm not very fond of. But one night on whatsapp, we all started talking about meeting up and I went along with it. They decided on my house, so I agreed at the time because I didn't know how to refuse. I rearranged the date because they wanted to come that very weekend and it wasn't convenient for me and neither was the next weekend so they finally settled on this week. I was trying to put it off as long as I could.

Now, there's a few reasons I'm not looking forward to it. Firstly, they expect me to cook them a fantastic multi course meal. There are at least 7 kids coming too. The friend who I'm not particularly fond of has a tendency to expect things. She wants it to be a great weekend and is just expecting me to pull out all the stops. Not only that, she is very, very nosey and opens cupboards and drawers and sticks her head round every door. She's always commented on how my house is and although she tends to be complimentary in her choice of words, I feel it's all a fake. At the moment, my house is in a bit of a state: kitchen unit doors falling off, scribbled walls, no sofa in living room, carpets need changing etc. I can just imagine the comments.

Not only that, but she is loud, brash and generally very excitable. I don't particularly like being around her.

My weekends are very precious to me. I work throughout the week because with children, I spend the weekend recuperating as well as getting things done for the week. Having said that, I do entertain a lot of guests. But most, if not all of these, I enjoy having them over. They don't expect anything, they don't poke their noses in places and nor are they demanding in other ways.

I've been cleaning all week in preparation for them but there is still much to do. I don't mind the cleaning- I was due a spring clean anyway, but I'm feeling a bit of resentment towards them. I can't make an excuse and cancel without them seeing right through it. Although I don't particularly love them, I don't want to lose all the friendships either by cancelling on them. I can't deal with the negativity that would bring.

One thing I do know though is that if we were meeting at any of their homes, they wouldn't be very keen on it. Everyone's a little selfish, including me I guess, and it's just a free weekend away for some.

I'm not normally such a miser. If it was my closest group of friends from university, I'd love to have them over. They're kind, gracious, loving and non judgmental and I love them all.

So what do I do? Shall I just grin and bear it because it's just a weekend or do I have any way out of it without spoiling my relationship with them?

OP posts:
MintyChops · 04/02/2014 19:14

OP are you in prison????

pigletmania · 05/02/2014 08:29

Flame me but is this thread for real, sounds very far fetched, no one can be that clueless and rude. Mabey op has done a disappearing act as there was no reunion!

AuroraRoared · 05/02/2014 09:05

Argh, WHY DON'T POSTERS COME BACK AND UPDATE US??!!!

ThePearShapedToad · 05/02/2014 09:11

Quite agree aurora! Grin

Drums fingers..... I don't care..... looks back sneakily to see if there's an update yet

LovelyJubblies · 05/02/2014 09:17

Want happened OP?
I was panicking because I couldn't find this thread for two days!!

landrover · 05/02/2014 10:04

Bumping, we need to know!!!!

MintyChops · 05/02/2014 13:17

BUMP!!!!!

glasgowsteven · 05/02/2014 13:28

BUMP

TenCupsOfTea · 05/02/2014 15:21

Bump! Very strange! Wonder if one of the guests saw this thread?.....

winkywinkola · 06/02/2014 00:53

Aw come on.

beluga425 · 06/02/2014 06:25

Just as OP was going to bed, following a surprisingly successful reunion, she heard a strange clicking noise, just like a pull cord light. She couldn't work out where it was coming from, but felt like she was being spied on. Our inquisitive OP went to investigate and hasn't been seen since.

I hate cliffhangers, they bug me for years...

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 06/02/2014 06:49

They've tired her to an ikea chair in one of the many bedrooms whilst they Mark each room out of ten.

ThePearShapedToad · 06/02/2014 09:05

< wails >

Is it because gobby friend is watching this thread? Go away gobby friend, we want to talk to the op!

loopylou6 · 06/02/2014 09:07

disappointed theres no update

pigletmania · 06/02/2014 19:12

Guys could well be a bridge dweller, winding us up and then seeing what happens, unless the stress was just so much that she us confined to bed rest only Smile

londonrach · 06/02/2014 20:11

Was it a dream...come on op please return...

quirkycutekitch · 06/02/2014 20:28

Waiting for an update ..........

aquashiv · 06/02/2014 20:30

Now see I am rather peeved myself I might start a thread about seemingly halpless ops who create a right old story have us all feeling sorry for them then vamoosh.
Go on update us even if its bollox

KatoPotato · 07/02/2014 12:54

Maybe this is how all the members of the Whatsapp group felt...

ThePearShapedToad · 07/02/2014 13:00

Grin kato

glasgowsteven · 07/02/2014 13:07

Petition for MNHQ to email the op and ask them to return to thread

+1

ohfourfoxache · 07/02/2014 13:48

Come on op! Grin

KatoPotato · 07/02/2014 13:53

Shall we assume radio silence means we've all to go and stay the weekend with our DCs?

'She has a lovely big six bedroomed posh house and is the best cook ever.'

YouStayClassySanDiego · 07/02/2014 13:56

It's fucking annoying and selfishWink when the OP neglects her duty to update, however dull it may be!!

< goes off to advance search to see if she's posting elsewhere>

ThePearShapedToad · 07/02/2014 13:57

Ooooooh hadn't thought of doing that san diego!

Make sure you report back and let us know Smile