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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want friends to come to mine for a reunion?

533 replies

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 26/01/2014 10:51

This is more of a WWYD than a AIBU, but here goes:

There's 6 of them coming over with kids and a few husbands too. They're my friends from uni and I've kept in touch with all of them over the years, some more than others. There have been times times when we've fallen out of touch for a few months or a year. They're not my closest friends; I hung around with another bunch but these were my classmates so I was on good terms wih them. I like them but to be honest, I don't love them.

There are a few who I have also fallen out with over the years and made up with again. One in particular, I'm not very fond of. But one night on whatsapp, we all started talking about meeting up and I went along with it. They decided on my house, so I agreed at the time because I didn't know how to refuse. I rearranged the date because they wanted to come that very weekend and it wasn't convenient for me and neither was the next weekend so they finally settled on this week. I was trying to put it off as long as I could.

Now, there's a few reasons I'm not looking forward to it. Firstly, they expect me to cook them a fantastic multi course meal. There are at least 7 kids coming too. The friend who I'm not particularly fond of has a tendency to expect things. She wants it to be a great weekend and is just expecting me to pull out all the stops. Not only that, she is very, very nosey and opens cupboards and drawers and sticks her head round every door. She's always commented on how my house is and although she tends to be complimentary in her choice of words, I feel it's all a fake. At the moment, my house is in a bit of a state: kitchen unit doors falling off, scribbled walls, no sofa in living room, carpets need changing etc. I can just imagine the comments.

Not only that, but she is loud, brash and generally very excitable. I don't particularly like being around her.

My weekends are very precious to me. I work throughout the week because with children, I spend the weekend recuperating as well as getting things done for the week. Having said that, I do entertain a lot of guests. But most, if not all of these, I enjoy having them over. They don't expect anything, they don't poke their noses in places and nor are they demanding in other ways.

I've been cleaning all week in preparation for them but there is still much to do. I don't mind the cleaning- I was due a spring clean anyway, but I'm feeling a bit of resentment towards them. I can't make an excuse and cancel without them seeing right through it. Although I don't particularly love them, I don't want to lose all the friendships either by cancelling on them. I can't deal with the negativity that would bring.

One thing I do know though is that if we were meeting at any of their homes, they wouldn't be very keen on it. Everyone's a little selfish, including me I guess, and it's just a free weekend away for some.

I'm not normally such a miser. If it was my closest group of friends from university, I'd love to have them over. They're kind, gracious, loving and non judgmental and I love them all.

So what do I do? Shall I just grin and bear it because it's just a weekend or do I have any way out of it without spoiling my relationship with them?

OP posts:
grobagsforever · 03/02/2014 00:16

Sorry. Place making

MrsJoeHart · 03/02/2014 00:31

How did it go?

TenCupsOfTea · 03/02/2014 07:32

La la la la la, not waiting for update At all.......

DorothyBastard · 03/02/2014 07:48

Come on then, Diet, we're all on tenterhooks...

ExitPursuedTheRoyalPrude · 03/02/2014 07:51

Drums fingers.

ssd · 03/02/2014 07:57

well..was there a mass murder then Grin

Used2bthin · 03/02/2014 08:39

I want to know what you fed them!

phantomnamechanger · 03/02/2014 14:53

come on OP, don't be a tease we neeeed to knoooooow

KatoPotato · 03/02/2014 16:42

Anything? Are they still there?

MintyChops · 03/02/2014 16:46

How did it go Diet? Did Gobby behave herself?

olympicsrock · 03/02/2014 22:35

Well? Come on OP

aquashiv · 04/02/2014 00:10

Op did they shower you with thoughtful gifts and copiuous amounts of alcohol that you now feel guilty.

Cerisier · 04/02/2014 00:21

Another one here hoping for an update...

GingerBlondecat · 04/02/2014 03:49

They are probably all still there. camping out for the whole week Wink

Hunnyangel80 · 04/02/2014 04:25

Are they still there? :)

Catsize · 04/02/2014 10:55

Is the OP locked in the oven?

ThePearShapedToad · 04/02/2014 11:38

OP did they kidnap you and force you to cook for them forever? Grin

KatoPotato · 04/02/2014 11:48

I think the OP and her family have been shanghaied...

glasgowsteven · 04/02/2014 12:01

keep this at the top....OP come on

landrover · 04/02/2014 12:02

bump

AllOverIt · 04/02/2014 12:50

No update? Gah!

eddielizzard · 04/02/2014 13:02

i hate it when this happens. it's TUESDAY fgs

Charley50 · 04/02/2014 14:39

I feel robbed! Come on OP spill the beans! Your dilemma was gripping and we need closure...how did it go?

jay55 · 04/02/2014 14:48

Perhaps the op was arrested for battering gobbyfriend when she started going through the cupboards.

fascicle · 04/02/2014 14:51

Poor OP may still be working through the trauma. Give her a chance Grin

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