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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that someone is selling clothes that I gifted to them

190 replies

lollipoppi · 22/01/2014 10:32

So my DPs cousin had a baby

I mentioned that have tons of clothes from DD that she is welcome to have if she likes which she accepted

When I went round to give her the clothes there were 4 bin bags full. I said for her to go through them in her own time and whatever she doesn't want to just give me back as a few of my friends are also pregnant at the mo and they could be passed on

Anyway il get to the point that she has been selling ALL these clothes on a local selling site in bundles, even clothes that wouldn't even for her DD just yet!

Oh along with her DS1 birthday present that we bought him less than 2 weeks ago!

OP posts:
aquashiv · 22/01/2014 23:52

Can you email her on the site she is selling them on tactfully and ask for them back?

Thatisall · 23/01/2014 00:07

Cheeky witch. I know someone who asked for clothing and equipment on Facebook the moment she found out she was pregnant. The baby isn't born yet and items are being sold off. I think she just accepted every single thing she was offered and sold any duplicates and bundles of clothes. I can't claim to know the basis of these 'gifts' or whether she offered them back but the same woman has asked for items on free cycle and immediately sold them.

sykadelic15 · 23/01/2014 02:42

Excellent text! I'd be looking on those selling sites to see if she's pulled the ads as an "oh shit!"

Looking forward to the update!

fatlazymummy · 23/01/2014 08:44

Unfortunately there are people around who make a profit out of other people's generosity. This woman seems to be one of them.
If you can't get the rest of the clothes back then at least you have gained an insight into her real personality. Enough to keep her at arm's length in future.

IneedAsockamnesty · 23/01/2014 09:10

In my circles it is not unusual for many baby items to do the rounds between us all ( I have recently even been handed back a particularly lovely baby gro cardi and shawl that started life as my eldest's just over 20 years ago,it made me cry in a good way).

It's something that's done to make those early days less expensive nobody has to accept anything at all but they can if they want to,it's a generous thing and provides many nice memories no money ever changes hands.

The expectation is anything still good enough to use will get passed on again often people may add to stuff as it gets used but only if they want.its not unheard of for passed on items to include cots prams high chairs as well. It would just seam like such bad form to profit in that way from kindness.

Thatisall · 23/01/2014 09:23

Happy birthday to the OP's ds.....now waiting for that text from the grabby cow Smile

hickorychicken · 23/01/2014 09:26

I dont see why people even sell baby clothes, theyre not worth the hassle and especially if its going to ruin a friendship!

diddl · 23/01/2014 09:57

I do think sometimes though that baby clothes are handed over as if a great big favour is being done.

They've often been puked on & pooed in & only really mean anything to the giver.

The receiver has to sort through & then often either take back the rest or take to charity.

ThistleLickerIsGoingToBeAMummy · 23/01/2014 10:05

Make an offer on the clothes.... We'll I'll have these for free seeing these are mine type of comment

hickorychicken · 23/01/2014 10:05

I have some good stuff id give to friends but sleepsuits vests etc get so worn i wouldnt give them and my freind feel guikty for not using them.

HappyMamaBear · 23/01/2014 10:11

What a cheeky cow she is, as you said she is usually quick fire on the response? So knows full well she is in the wrong, pull her up on it. If anyone did this to me I'd rage. Also would send the text that was along the lines of a pp 'I asked you to return what you didn't want, what are you playing at selling them?' as I used to be timid and not speak up but I have learnt the hard way from similar experiences.

sebsmummy1 · 23/01/2014 10:23

I find newborn and 0-3 3-6 clothes are often in bloody good nick as the pfb hasn't trashed them like a toddler would and hasn't been weaned so there isn't food staining all over them.

I was over the moon with the stuff I was leant. A lot if it was baby gap and had hardly been worn. OPs friend would have been rubbing her hands together so fiercely she'd have combusted lol

IneedAsockamnesty · 23/01/2014 10:51

Diddl,

You find clothes that have been worn for about 10 weeks if they have been looked after to worn to use? Really and I mean that in a interested way not a sarki way.

ThistleLickerIsGoingToBeAMummy · 23/01/2014 11:05

You could also apply a message to the selling page thanking her for selling the clothes on your behalf and you will pick up the money at her earliest convenience

hickorychicken · 23/01/2014 11:23

Did you mean me socket? After 10 weeks of washing and washing ive had sleepsuits go dingy so they get thrown, iim much more careful with outfits and decent stuff.

MeadowHeartshimmertheFairy · 23/01/2014 11:53

What a cheeky madam!

Can't wait to hear the response!

THERhubarb · 23/01/2014 12:53

She is probably trying to delete all her postings and sweating over the clothes she's already sold. No doubt she hopes that if she doesn't reply you might not ask again?

If she just texts to wish your dd happy birthday that is your chance to reply saying "thank you, I'll be round your way on Sat so I hope you don't mind if I just nip in and pick up those clothes "

Don't let it slide or she'll know that she can do it again.

diddl · 23/01/2014 14:04

Sock-well I guess some clothes would be in good condition & some not so much!

I think it's more that some givers are attached to the clothes & it's a big deal to be handing them over & to the recipient they are what they are-2nd hand clothes iyswim.

TwinkleSparkleBling · 23/01/2014 14:16

I'm normally pretty chilled about what happens to stuff when I pass it on, after all I don't want it that's why it's gone. If someone wants to sell it and I can't be bothered to, good luck to them.

However the fact that you specifically said you wanted the stuff back that she didn't want so you could give it to someone else would piss me off too.

I think she'll say she didn't realize you wanted anything backHmm

astyinmyeye · 23/01/2014 14:57

She still didn't answer back ??? Pffft agree with Twinkle, she is going to say she didn't realize you wanted anything back ! Cheeky caw

notapizzaeater · 23/01/2014 15:01

I'd be furious about this, any getting angrier the longer it took to reply ...

IneedAsockamnesty · 23/01/2014 15:41

Yep I do understand what you mean.

With me I would be grateful for things it's so much better for the environment and stops so much going to landfill and saves me from going shopping,I hate shopping.

diddl · 23/01/2014 15:52

I always loved getting second hand stuff as well-I generally hate shopping-but could tolerate buying clothes before the kids had an opinion on them!

lottieandmia · 23/01/2014 15:54

YANBU - you made it clear that anything she didn't want was to be given back to you. Some people are so out for themselves it's unbelievable.

fatlazymummy · 23/01/2014 16:06

I've had baby gro's and vests that did 2 babies, were spotless (if a little faded) and were then passed onto some one who asked for them and was really grateful for them. I would expect any clothes to last for more than 10 weeks. I don't really get this 'throwaway' attitude.

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