To leave my partner because he wont stop smoking.

[jlb1234]

Long story short: From day one he knew my feelings towards it.
He didnt smoke when we got together. But took it up around about a year ago, lied about it to begin with but then told me. (His family smoke so its completely normal, mine don't and have always been against it)
I really hate it, i hate how it makes him smell, i hate that whilst he doesn't smoke in front of me, other people are not so respectful and if im honest i doubt he is to others, he just doesn't do it infront of me because he knows i don't like it. The cost, the potential threat on his health.
My concern is whilst he maybe only smokes 5-10 now, will that be 20 in a few years time. Will i come home one day and hes smoked in the house. What about when we have children. Etc.
I really dislike it, we've had a few ups and downs recently and i think this is just tipping the balance, i don't think i can put up with it anymore. If there was something in this relationship that made him so unhappy i'd try my damned hardest to change it.
Would it be unreasonable to say you quit or i'm leaving?

YANBU to end a relationship for any reason. Him starting something you hate is a very good reason, but you don't need to justify yourself to him.

FancyaShandy If smoking and the associated stench offends or upsets you, why on earth would you dictate that a person who smokes in their own home goes outside to accommodate you?

It is a futile exercise. Even if they did go outside whilst you were there, their home would still stink to high heaven of smoking, their furnishings, their whole home. It just coats everything.
That's only the horrible smell btw, and doesn't begin to explain how going outside from the point at which you arrive doesn't negate the health implications to you of all the smoking that was done in the house until you turned up, or until an hour before you turn up, or whatever your stipulation would be. You'd still be breathing in stagnant smoke and a terrible odour, so wouldn't it just be easier to say 'I will not visit you at your house because you smoke in the house and I do not want to expose myself or my children to your second hand smoke" rather than dictating to a fully grown adult that they must leave their own home despite it making very little difference if any, if the smoker chooses to smoke indoors at every other opportunity?'

I still do not understand how anyone who does not live with a smoker feels it is acceptable to boot the smoker out of their own home for partaking in an activity that is legal.
I just refuse to visit houses where I feel that level of discomfort.

Not at all. YADNBU. Yuck.