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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that actually, I may die of sleep deprivation

76 replies

Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:11

It feels like it. Particularly as she wakes every 1-2 hours with no let up, and has since birth. She is 6 months. This is how I will meet my end, I fear.

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MiniSoksMakeHardWork · 21/01/2014 18:15

Ime I eventually passed out and slept until I woke up, through screaming twins and a toddler! Nothing but a good shake would rouse me. And thankfully dh wasn't prepared to be greated by a bear being rudely awoken from hibernation :)

If you can, find someone to have baby for you for a day and go back to bed. Even if you're still being woken at night, that sleep will make you feel a whole heap better.

Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:19

I breastfeed so unfortunately cannot hand her over to my husband/parents/in laws! My 3 year old son likes to wake of a night currently too. It's joyous.

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addictedtocaffeine · 21/01/2014 18:23

I feel your pain. My 9 month old is up and down all night long, and either has to be breastfed or patted back to sleep. I have a 4 year old too and I'm working full time. It's tough...just got to keep going though! Smile

CrohnicallyFarting · 21/01/2014 18:24

If she is 6 months, the end is in sight! Once she is taking substantial amounts of solids you can hand her over to someone so you can have a break.

My daughter woke every 2 hours or so for a feed up until 7.5 months, at which point my mum had her overnight- DD used to take a bottle but she refused this time and went through the night with no milk. So we took a gamble on putting her in her own room and she slept better (only waking 2-3 x per night). But it only worked because she was ready iykwim and the night feeds were becoming a habit rather than her needing them.

In the meantime, can you cosleep and feed lying down so you are disrupted as little as possible?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 21/01/2014 18:24

Poor thing

CrohnicallyFarting · 21/01/2014 18:25

Have you tried giving her expressed milk in a cup (like a doidy)? Sometimes babies who refuse bottles will take from a cup.

Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:28

We do cosleep, it's the only way I get any sleep at all. It worries me slightly as I am so very tired though. She's a little cherub but sleep is not her favourite thing. Why? Sleep is gorgeous! I think... I can't really recall... she was only up twice in the night, then she got a cold and hasn't been the same since. I would dearly love sleep. I shall be rocking in the corner!

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PumpkinPie2013 · 21/01/2014 18:28

Goodness - I'm not surprised you feel like this Shock

Is your dd waking for milk? If so is she definitely hungry? I assume she's started solids so shouldn't need as much (if any?) Milk during the night.

Can you offer water when she wakes? Get your dh to offer it/give her a cuddle? Might take a few nights but she should get in eventually.

As for your 3 year old - why is he waking? Can you try reward charts? Leave a drink by his bed and a light on so he can get to the toilet?

Can someone have your 3 year old one night so you only have to deal with the baby?

I feel for you - I'd go spare in your situation!

Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:29

She will take expressed breast milk, but it takes me just days to get enough for a bottle's worth and it's just such a faff isn't it. Thank you though, the suggestions are appreciated.

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Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:30

Sorry we had about a week of twice a night wake ups, thought I'd cracked it but sadly not!

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Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:32

She wakes up crying, she sometimes comfort sucks for a few seconds and swiftly falls back to sleep - but I am so desperate for sleep myself that I just feed at every wake up, which is perhaps wrong.
3 year old has a particularly horrid cough, hence the wakings.
Yawn.
goes back to time when husband and I thought it would be wonderful to have children. Punches self in face

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CrohnicallyFarting · 21/01/2014 18:37

If you express every day at the same sort of time then your milk supply will increase to match- when DD was at nursery I could express her bottle in the morning before we left and at the weekends I'd freeze what I got for emergencies. But I have a double electric pump so it was easy to do while I was eating breakfast or whatever and dd was still in bed.

She might be waking between sleep cycles for comfort. Does she have some sort of teddy or comforter? You could introduce one for sleep time, eventually it will help her get back to sleep herself.

You could try putting her in her own room- it might be that as you are co sleeping you are being woken by her stirring between sleep cycles, whereas in her own room she has chance to put herself back to sleep.

How does she normally go to sleep? If she usually feeds to sleep you could try feeding her, disturbing her and then rocking her back to sleep. So she learns to sleep without the sucking so when she wakes in the night you can rock her again, eventually she'll be able to put herself back to sleep.

CrohnicallyFarting · 21/01/2014 18:39

X post, sounds like it's definitely a comfort thing (DD at that age was still taking at least 3 full feeds in the night!) I'd try different ways of getting her to sleep initially (Dd liked back patting and also a light and lullaby show) and then when she wakes in the night try that again.

In the meantime, for you to survive, get the 3 year old to nursery and sleep when the baby does!

waterrat · 21/01/2014 18:42

I know
This is boring advice but if you put her in a cot and sat next to it for a night you could really really crack the multiple wakings - it's as much you reacting to the slightest stirrings as it is her waking .... If she is having little comfort sucks you can switch that to two feeds a night - but it means focusing your energy and getting help from dp in the night for a couple of nights

I was in exact same position it was hell

Took one night to get back to 6 hour block of sleep and 2 wake ups .. Just took turns sitting and patting/ shhing back to sleep instead of offering boob ...

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 21/01/2014 18:44

Why not freeze the tiny amount you can get and make enough the cover 1 night every fortnight then your DH could do 1 night for you.

kinkyfuckery · 21/01/2014 18:45

Have you ever given her formula?

I hated expressing but would occasionally (ok, DD2 was a bit older) be able to get her to take a cup of the pre-mixed formula so someone else could take her for a few hours.

Or is formula not an option at this stage?

muddylettuce · 21/01/2014 18:47

Can dh try and soothe her back to sleep? He might be able to get away with soothing her without feeding her seeing as he doesn't have boobies. Xx

TootlesPootles · 21/01/2014 18:50

I know it doesn't feel like it but this stage doesn't go on forever. Although it FEELS like it does Grin especially with DC4 You will get through it and slowly you will regain your energy. My DCs are Uni age and I still appreciate my uninterrupted night sleeps.

Stay strong and look after yourself as much as you can.

Thanks
pootlebug · 21/01/2014 18:51

I feel your pain. Albeit in the 'how the fuck did I survive it?' way rather than a current thing. DD2 is now 22 months and has been 'sleeping' (i.e. only waking once or twice a night) for the last 5 months or so).

What I did:

  • DH definitely does your other child. If by some remote chance the smallest does sleep a bit, he definitely has to deal with the others.
  • Go to bed as soon as smallest sleeps. Get DH to deal with all wakings prior to 11pm/midnight or whatever by shushing, patting, carrying around, slinging, whatever he has to do. If you go to bed at 8-ish you'll still get one half-decent chunk of sleep. And it will get her more used to settling without the boob.

Sorry those aren't really great suggestions but better than nothing. In the end I pushed nightweaning then total weaning but it was a fair bit later than 6 months.

Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:53

She will not take formula! Bloody baby
During the day she will nap if rocked or patted, perhaps I'll try that at night. Am I making myself my own worst enemy? It's just that feeding is the fastest way to settle her back off. My husband would happily do night time, but she will not settle with him, only me bloody baby

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Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:54

Thanks ever so much for the suggestions and sympathy! I feel utterly shattered and hopeless, I must admit. Like it is never ending!

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Shockingundercrackers · 21/01/2014 18:55

Oh Fancy, me too! My six month old is like this and there are days where I genuinely fear for my safety. Ds1 is 4 and sleeps well thank god, but he needs a lot of attention during the day and sometimes l feel like I might utterly lose my mind...

If you crack it, please let me know!

Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:56

She has two - three actual feeds during the night. Three feeds would be sheer bloody luxury at present. Just the comfort sucking.

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Original poster
Fancydrawers · 21/01/2014 18:57

Shocking, let's run. Run far away. Somewhere there is lots of alcohol.

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Kittymalinky · 21/01/2014 18:58

My DD was like this. We cosleep and she started sleeping through or waking once or twice and settling with a pat and shush at about a year old.

I do feel your pain, I too thought I'd die of sleep deprivation.

I started handing her over to my DM at about 8 mo with expressed milk and food and go back to bed