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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my toddler shouldn't be picked on at play group by a group of mums.

69 replies

Charotte31 · 21/01/2014 13:43

My 2 1/2 year old was playing in a car driving it around the part of the hall which is meant for this. A baby was crawling around that part of the room when my DD bumped into her. I was watching and she didn't mean to, she wouldn't it's not like her. The baby didn't cry. The mum come over and picked him up, which I would have done. I was coming over to see if he was ok but Then sat back down with 2 other mums and started pointing at my child and giving her evil looks. She's 2 for god sake!! I went over and asked what her problem was? We ended up having a real to do, not like me at these sort of places!
AIBU to want my child to be able to play, have an accident and not get bitched about by grown woman?!

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 21/01/2014 13:46

She wasn't necessarily mean, you're overreacting. She pointed the kid out who banged into her child. That's it.

You're going to need to develop a much thicker skin if you're going to exist.

And what were you thinking having a 'huge to do' with a load of people over fuck all . How is that a good example to show the children

nennypops · 21/01/2014 13:46

The problem seems to be with the way the play group is organised. If you have toddlers with cars and babies all mixed up together, this sort of incident is bound to happen. Can't they separate toddlers from babies? Anyway this mother should really have been supervising her baby better.

Mim78 · 21/01/2014 13:48

Pa! You are right - your dd shouldn't have been picked on by a grown woman. And she should have been supervising her baby, not just letting it crawl off where toddlers are playing.

WeddingComingUp · 21/01/2014 13:49

I went over and asked what her problem was?

YABU. You deserved a mouthful back, to be blunt. You felt you had the right to confront someone based on the way they were 'looking' at your dd?

Mmm.

Mordirig · 21/01/2014 13:49

If she's dumb enough to let her baby crawl around with toddlers In toy cars then I doubt she is intelligent enough to realise it was not done in malice.
YANBU to be miffed at her getting shitty, but you should have just ignored her.

WeddingComingUp · 21/01/2014 13:50

And plonking yourself down next to someone and talking, assumingly confidentially, to another grown up about a child that has (albeit accidentally) just injured your child is hardly 'picking' on.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2014 13:50

I think you got what you asked for tbh OP

Artandco · 21/01/2014 13:51

Well they shouldn't have picked on her, but you didn't need I go and shout either. Couldn't you have just gone over and said 'sorry I just saw my little one bump into your baby, are they ok'? Then they would have realised you were watching and isn't usual occurrence and would have stopped

TheListingAttic · 21/01/2014 13:54

I highly doubt your kid was aware she was getting 'evil looks' and being 'bitched about'. The woman should have been watching her baby better, but if I were you I'd have gone over to 'hope she's okay, and wouldn't it be better if there was a separate area for cars and crawling' - certainly not to aggressively ask what her problem was. Her problem was someone drove a car into her kid!

Davsmum · 21/01/2014 13:55

YANBU
The babies mother should have been watching her child not blaming a 2 1/2 yr old for bumping into the child!

sebsmummy1 · 21/01/2014 14:00

I don't think you are being unreasonable as it goes. I frequent soft play and playgroups etc and I'm pretty shocked at the behaviour of some of these Mothers. Especially the ones that seem to come in large groups and take over all the seating.

I've seen a fair few 'to dos', luckily none in my direction yet as I don't think my son is old enough. It does seem to be these hysterical Mothers with their pfbs, attacking the Mothers of older children because their darling has taken a bump.

To my mind if a child is so little that they can't take the odd knock they shouldn't be in an area that has larger children running about in it. It's different if it's a designated baby area, but if not just look after your bloody babies and stop starting on other Mothers who have older ones. It will be you soon enough when your LOs get bigger.

PurplePidjin · 21/01/2014 14:01

I keep my crawling baby away from the ride-on area at groups because even if the toddlers do look, he's often too low down for them to see.

I do look askance at 4 year olds riding across the baby mat though

FayeKorgasm · 21/01/2014 14:03

To be fair, OP, I don't think pointing and looking is really picking on your child.

It was an accident, and whilst you naturally want to defend and protect your child, this person feels just as strongly about hers. Think honestly about how you would have reacted if the situation was reversed.

Sadly, you did yourself no good at all having a go at her.

pinkdelight · 21/01/2014 14:05

I think going over to someone who hasn't spoken to you and asking them 'what's your problem?' is really aggressive and totally OTT. It wasn't a big deal and you should have left it. No one was picking on your child. It was a very minor incident and if they want to talk about it, let them. Who cares? Instead you instigated a major conflict. Makes you seem either bonkers or rough (ie you like a fight) tbh.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 21/01/2014 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoNickedMyName · 21/01/2014 14:11

She sat there and watched as her baby crawled around an area where a toddler was driving a toy car.

And you sat there and watched as your daughter, in a car, headed toward a baby and didn't try to stop her, even though you saw it all.

But going over to ask her what her problem was, was totally unnecessary. You could have diffused the non-situation quite easily and instead you came across as agressive and out for an argument.

needaholidaynow · 21/01/2014 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2014 14:27

need it is my lifelong ambition to be able to raise one eyebrow. It would change my life and communicate my feelings so often more effcetively than mere speech.

I've wanted to be able to do it since I saw Jadie Foster do it in Bugsy Malone in 1976 when I was 9

I'm still practising

ChippingInWadesIn · 21/01/2014 14:31

BOP - you've either got it or you ain't

^^ thanks Dad :)

needaholidaynow · 21/01/2014 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheXxed · 21/01/2014 14:39

OP you made the wrong decision, you have no idea what they were saying. You created a confrontation and but was surprised by her reaction.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 21/01/2014 14:41

Unless you actually heard what they were saying YABU. It is possible that she was pointing at the ride on car and complaining about them being used in a group where small babies crawl around. Ride ons in toddler groups used to piss me right off (usually because it was my ds barrelling around on them so I'd be obliged to follow him everywhere and clear his path of small babies when all I wanted to do was sit down and drink my tea)

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2014 14:54

chipping I ain't!

notso · 21/01/2014 14:55

Me too BitOutOfPractice DD just did it after 1 day of practice. I just look like I can smell something horrible

OP YABU.

formerbabe · 21/01/2014 14:59

YANBU....I would have done the same as the op...

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