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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sleepovers

128 replies

shebird · 19/01/2014 18:24

I didn't grow up here so maybe I am missing something but I just don't get sleepovers. Why are children obsessed with wanting to sleep in other peoples houses? I mean mostly they stay up all night talking and/ or arguing and they have to sleep on an air bed or something equally uncomfortable. It seems that every birthday party DCs are invited to now end in a sleepover for a select few.
I have tried sleepovers at my DCs insistence and the result was no sleep for the entire household, one child wet the bed and another was sick. Never again - AIBU

OP posts:

DollyHouse · 19/01/2014 18:28

I don't understand them either. I didn't enjoy them as a child though so suppose that's why. Some people did and do enjoy them. I'm dreading this minefield when dd is old enough to want to go or have them.

Joules68 · 19/01/2014 18:29

They aren't special anymore. They seem to happen every weekend for some kids

Joules68 · 19/01/2014 18:31

I think some people should take more care.... Who knows who will be in the house where kids sleepover. You may 'know' the parents , but how about the friendly uncle/neighbour/older dc's friends?

DollyHouse · 19/01/2014 18:32

That's exactly what puts me off too joules.

feathermucker · 19/01/2014 18:32

Well,my son loves them

ChoudeBruxelles · 19/01/2014 18:33

Ds has friends over for sleepovers quite regularly (normally one friend at a time). They enjoy it which is why I let him have them. He's 7 and they do sleep (or else they're not invited again and are threatened with sleeping in different rooms) although they do go to sleep later than usual.

Original poster

shebird · 19/01/2014 18:39

I agree joules it feels like sleepovers are the new play date. It's hard enough having kids over after school for a play and tea but do they really need to stay the night?

DD is 6 and has been invited for sleepovers which I have declined. I feel she is just too young and although I know the parents and they seem very nice I do not really know them enough to have my child sleep the night in their house. Very awkward trying to decline politely but I would rather tell a little white lie than stay up all night fretting.

OP posts:

SlightlyTerrified · 19/01/2014 18:42

We have kids over for sleepovers regularly but they have never stayed up all night. We 'sell' it to them by saying what a treat it is for them to sit in our bed and watch a film starting at 7/730ish so they go to bed around 830/9 at the latest (this is for between 5-8 YOs)

We threaten with different rooms after 8/830 for the younger ones and after 830/9 for the older ones. Works a treat.

I am a bit at Joules comments, I think this could be the same for any situation, anywhere. You don't know everyone your children are around at all times. This sounds a bit dramatic.

SlightlyTerrified · 19/01/2014 18:44

BTW I don't let my children sleep over at random people's houses of course and we do not have loads of children we don't know well stay over here either. I like my sleep to much and have heard some horror stories of houses being trashed by 7 YOs also!

Guitargirl · 19/01/2014 18:45

My DD is 7 and has just had her first sleepover, she had a lovely time and has been so excited about it. They slept well, according to the mum, and went to sleep about an hour later than DD would normally. I remember LOVING sleepovers as a child, I had no siblings and it was a real treat for me to have someone over or to sleep at someone else's house.

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 19/01/2014 18:45

I detest sleepovers and the term "play date" (just pathetic)
Agree Joules
My eldest is 14 & asked, begged, cried to go sleepovers.
My answer never changes .... No no no no.
She understands now she is older and doesn't even ask.

cardibach · 19/01/2014 18:45

I am too old to have had sleepovers myself, but DD (17) always had them - partly because we live in a very rural area and people tend to live a long way from each other. I think it is a shame if children aren't allowed the fun because of fear of paedophiles - they tend not to be alone anyway as all the kids stay together.

THe secret with sleepovers at your own house is to be firm about noise - I don't mind awake kids as long as they talk quietly. In reality, if they are in the dark and whispering they soon nod off!

jellybeans · 19/01/2014 18:46

I am not that keen but endure them for the kids! They do love them. I find girls seem to do them much more than boys. I find it hard as have to tidy up and get special food etc and value my privacy so can't relax as much with others in house I barely know. Some people do it far too much though and it gets tiresome.

ChoudeBruxelles · 19/01/2014 18:47

God I must be a really lax parent. It never crosses my mind to think about an uncle or someone attacking my child at a friends house.

SlightlyTerrified · 19/01/2014 18:48

I am fairly picky about who comes for sleep overs or even who comes round to play. For those who I'd rather not have here I arrange to meet at a play area or Macdonalds

SlightlyTerrified · 19/01/2014 18:49

Choude It has actually never crossed my mind either, I think I am sometimes over protective but I am clearly naïve!

zubin · 19/01/2014 18:51

We have regular sleepovers, probably every other week - think I may be over compensating for ds being an only child!!

pussycatdoll · 19/01/2014 18:51

My eldest is 14 & asked, begged, cried to go sleepovers.
My answer never changes .... No no no no

Sorry but that seems so sad to me
She might understand now but she must have been so sad when all her friends were going on them

People, no one ever died from lack of sleep!!

DollyHouse · 19/01/2014 18:52

It's not dramatic to worry about something happening to your child at a sleepover. It does happen. Maybe rarely but people tend to be wary about things they have experience with themselves.

bigTillyMint · 19/01/2014 18:53

I agree Pussycatdoll. Sleepovers are the devils work, but so sad to never be allowed to go on one or have one at home.

bigTillyMint · 19/01/2014 18:54

And I think I must have been very lucky as I have never had any wet beds or children being sick.

However, as mine are nearly 13 and 14, this is probably all to come

ChoudeBruxelles · 19/01/2014 18:55

I think it is over dramatic to prevent your child doing normal thing because of a tiny chance of something happening.

It's like not letting them ever cross a road because they might get run over ( which is actually more likely to happen)

DollyHouse · 19/01/2014 18:57

Apart from the fact that crossing roads is a pretty necessary part of life and sleeping at another child's house is not. It's not alike at all.

DramaAlpaca · 19/01/2014 18:58

I allowed sleepovers, but not until mine were around 9 or 10 and only when I knew the parents quite well and the parents knew us. I learned the hard way to insist that they only took place on Friday nights so that they all got two days to recover before going back to school, as they usually got no sleep at all and were cranky as sin the next day.

Now they are teenagers we often wake up to one or two extra teens in the house on a Saturday or Sunday morning. I'm OK with that as we know all their friends and many of them live quite far away so getting home is difficult.

MsUumellmahaye · 19/01/2014 18:59

i really hate them, so i say no to the routine ones that seem to be every week but allow special occasion ones.

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