Sleepovers

[shebird]

I didn't grow up here so maybe I am missing something but I just don't get sleepovers. Why are children obsessed with wanting to sleep in other peoples houses? I mean mostly they stay up all night talking and/ or arguing and they have to sleep on an air bed or something equally uncomfortable. It seems that every birthday party DCs are invited to now end in a sleepover for a select few.
I have tried sleepovers at my DCs insistence and the result was no sleep for the entire household, one child wet the bed and another was sick. Never again - AIBU

I do not blame parents for not wanting 10 children sleeping over at their house but I do think it's a shame that some parents are anti letting their pre-teen's best friend stay over on special occasions.

Lots of miserable feckers here! No sleepovers?
That's part of their childhood memory box, one of the very best fun parts of childhood!

Wow. I'm really surprised by the anti sleepover feeling.

Sleepovers make up many of my favourite memories of being age 10-17 or so. Absolutely we stayed up till the small hours, that was all part of the fun.
Did nobody do things like:

• discover the host's mum's tampons, run them under the tap, watch them expand and have group hysterics.
• make lists of top 10 boys
• make up dance routines
• sleep in tents in the garden and tell scary stories until you all freaked out and had to sleep inside. *watch films on the lowest possible volume that was still audible until 5am.
• play tricks on each other with toy spiders, shaving foam and fingers in water. *spy on hot brothers
• just talk all night about anything and everything.

Sleepovers made friendships for me and I feel sorry for children who aren't allowed to participate.

My oldest recently turned 11 and we had a great sleepover with 7 other girls that involved pizza making, sleeping bag sledging, karaoke and a very definite lack of sleep. I hope there are years of them to come.

Ok so perhaps I am being a little bit U by saying never again to sleepovers. My experience of hosting them has not been great so far but I might give in for special occasions or during holidays and will limit to one friend. I kind of get that this is something pre teens really enjoy but I think for younger ones it is the pre sleepover talk and planning what they will do at the sleepover that is the exciting bit. When it comes to the event itself they can get a bit over whelmed and they would rather be in their own bed.

I'm also really surprised at the amount of negative feeling towards sleepovers... my DD started staying away with friends (as opposed to GPs) when she was 5... (she's now 17)... and there's always the party in the tent in the back garden - but do warn the neighbours!

Not only are sleepovers a great way of doing baby sitting 'swops' but I'm also a brownie leader and we take the girls away for two night residential from the age of 7.. it's a great experience for them... but goes better if they've had the odd sleepover first although often we nowadays their first experience of being away... which is sad.

Kids really need to learn they can cope without mum (and / or dad) for one night.. so that as they are presented with school trips etc they are not fazed by the idea..

UABU sleepovers, with a few rules, are great fun and improve with practice!

Shebird I agree that 6 years old is a bit young for sleepovers, some children really need their sleep.

Totally agree re making them aware they can cope away from mum and dad for a night or two.

Tbh it worries me that DD is so reluctant to stay anywhere other than the GPs, and even then it's only my parents that she really likes staying with.

I'm hoping she'll mellow out this year and joining guides once she's 10 will also help. She did Rainbows and Brownies but unfortunately the groups she went to weren't the most proactive in doing anything apart from toilet roll pen holders and the odd trip to the park.

I'm with Manic. I loved sleepovers as a child. They were a precious and brilliant part of my childhood and I hope both my DSs get to experience that fun.

Getting fits of the giggles before sleep; watching movies in our PJs together; getting to experience bedtime and breakfast with another family almost like "trying on" someone else's life; whispered secrets under the covers; doing someone else's usual activities with their parents; seeing other sibling relationships and getting to play along with them....

I'm not a fan before age 12-13. Dd8 would love too but is not allowed til high school at all.

I agree stricnine it is important that kids are able to cope with the odd night away from mum and dad in advance of school trips etc. Sleepovers with grandparents, family or the occasional sleepover at friends seems to have helped DD1 and she has coped fine with her residential. She really needs her sleep and more importantly so do I. I don't see the need for her to be farmed off somewhere every other weekend nor do I want a gaggle of girls staying in my house on a regular basis running my tampons under the tap manicinsomniac

Well I got a little toasted on here awhile ago when I said I hated them.
My dd is 11 and always wants them but they seem to be so wild and determined to stay awake all night.
In fact last night she had two friends over last night and I let them sleep downstairs for the first time.
This morning the room looked as if it had been slept in by the Rolling Stones, curtain pole pulled down, popcorn avd sweets everywhere, drinks spilled and pizza left everywhere.
They were completely unbothered and even slightly irritated at my insistence they cleared it up.
I'm am extremely angry but secretly glad as I can now ban sleepovers until she's about 25.

Last night was from her birthday btw

Loving the terms 'child exchange' and 'mini adoption'

At least they didn't go in search of your tampons! The plus side is you now have official grounds to ban sleepovers forever. The thoughts of waking up to a scene like this terrify me and this was only with 2 friends

I hate having other kids sleep over, hate it.

They both had a friend each last night and I couldn't wait for them to go this morning!!

I'm ok with the friends that they stay at because I'm good friends with their parents but if they ever get a random invite from anyone else then I don't let them go

ledkr Did you tell the parents the truth when they came to pick them up or did you do what I do and just lie and say through gritted teeth 'oh they've had a lovely time'

Curtain pole pulled down!! I would be very unimpressed

My friend and I do a 'child exchange' in the summer hols so that we cover childcare for work purposes. Usually 10 days each with our 12/13 year old DDs (my DD2). Daily childcare wouldn't work as we live 4 hours drive from each other and she works 18 hour days for a week in August every year.

'Mini adoption' has been mentioned in relation to one of DD1's friends. Watch this space.....

shebird - well yes, I guess I'm still looking back on that incident through an 11 year old child's eyes rather than a 30 year old mother's! Still a good memory though.

It was my two mates kids so yes i told them and bollocked the kids along with getorf who was at my house to help me.
The parents are unimpressed and the kids are chipping in for my curtain poles.
Let me say that these are normal, well behaved well brought up children who turn Into chimps on sleepovers.

I do the gritted teeth oh he/she was lovely whilst making a mental note never again.

My mum never let me on sleep overs as she was scared of abuse.
My dd did it at friend's house 2 times, one for a birthday and another when I really needed to go out and come back late in the evening.
I had a child only once and it was ok but I find it very stressful and such a big responsibility.

I didn't have sleepovers except one time when my mum needed to go to a funeral and that one time the brother of the child we knew tried to kiss me rather inappropriately (he was about 14, I was 10!) Nothing dreadful, but enough to convince me that I'd rather my children slept in their own bed pretty much always, although I have let my dd10 go on one sleepover with about 5 other girls after knowing the parents for a few years.

Generally not something I love and I certainly don't want to host any either.

I also find it easier to have a no sleepover (except on exceptional occasions) rule as then you don't have to explain why they can sleep around one friend's house but not the other. My dd10 has one friend who I would never ever let her sleep round their house, lots of reasons but it's just not the type of environment I'd want her to be sleeping in, although in fairness I'm sure she'd love it and they are probably nice people.

I've had several sleepovers and never had an issue - last night DD1 had one for a birthday party - she is turning 13 tomorrow. They had home-made pizza, decorated cupcakes, ate far too many Haribos, watched loads of DVDs, giggled and whispered and didn't sleep much but they were beautifully quiet, behaved well and made no mess. I've never had different. We pick our guests carefully, a maximum of 3 as our house is small and they are all long-standing friends whose parents I know.

DD2 is having the same for her 11th in 3 weeks' time. I just don't get the sleepover hate on here.

As someone who has been assaulted by a father of a friend whose home I was invited to sleep over in I'd say it IS worth considering how well you know who is going to be in the home your children are going to.

My own DDs have had very few sleepovers. They have been allowed to go to ones where I've known the family, but have rarely had anyone in return. Mostly because I don't like being kept awake late or woken early by other children who don't love their sleep as much as my DD's (or I) do. Exceptions have been made on the odd occasion for DD2 who has friends that are the children of my own friends, who I have helped out with a sleepover when they've needed a babysitter.

DD1 will be having her first (or second) sleepover on her birthday. She will be 13 and has never been bothered about having anyone over til now.

I won't ever be one of the parents who hosts sleepover parties of 5 or 6 kids.