To meet up with son's ex partner

[MrsBeehive]

My ds was with a young lady for five years from the age of 18-23. They broke up 8 years ago and I still have contact with her. She recently had twins and I met for lunch. She talks to me on facebook and also visits my own fil.

Background info she was really in love with my son and he treated her badly. He has a new partner now for the last five years who he treats great from what I can see but this other girl was really infatuated with him. My son doesnt talk to her and hasn't for many years.

Am I being unreasonable or unfair to the new girlfriend by maintaining a relationship with my son's ex all these years?

How does your son feel about it?

No, you are not.

I don't think you should see her.

As long as you don't keep comparing them, YANBU!

I dunno, my instinct would to be not to get too involved, especially if she's visiting your son's GF too.
Maybe she still holds a torch.

If you like her and enjoy spending time with her,why ever not?

They broke up 8yrs ago and your son has been with his current partner for 5yrs.

Why are you worried about it now? Has someone said something?

I think YANBU because enough time has passed for her to be simply your friend...rather than your son's ex if that makes sense?

My son has a blind eye to it, he knows but doesnt acknowledge that he knows. I do not tell him when I have visited her.
I have told his girlfriend and she did not seem pleased.

I am not sure if she holds a torch for him.

Worra because I rcently told my son's partner and she seemed shocked that I still spoke to her.

Of course I will compare them!

Wait, wtf would you compare them? That's odd.

Do you like the current gf?

Why would you do that?
Why did you tell your son's partner, were you stirring a leetle bit?

So your friends with his ex, and they've been split 8 years, i dont see it as an issue, shes your friend, not your ex DIL.

If I was your sons current partner I wouldn't like it.
If she was / is infatuated with your son it doesn't sound especially helpful on your part.
I don't really get what you achieve from maintaining this friendship.

Hang on, x post, comparing them is not nice at all, they are different people, you might chose her to be your friend, but your DS didnt chose to spend his life with her, you need to stop comparing.

Just comparing not in a mean way.

I like her sometimes but shes not as family orientated as I would like.

I just told her in a passing comment to explain the ex girlfriend had given birth and then I went on to tell her about the involvement with fil and via facebook. But she did not seem happy about it especially as I have told her in the past how in love she was with my son.

Why would you try and upset his partner of seven years, not exactly a one night stand is she.
Do you not mind if you alienate her?

Your son's current partner must be delighted

I couldn't bring myself to be shocked or consider it stirring to remain friends with anybody's ex,but I would be perturbed by anybody thinking I shouldn't be.

Why do you keep in touch with her and what do the two of you talk about?

Keep her as a friend, but uabu (and stirring) if you compare.
And you have no idea what went on between them. Do you want to arrange a marriage for him?

She was a nice young girl and I thought she would marry my son one day. It is her really that maintains the contact.

I didnt think she would get upset by the news. Thats why I wrote this thread to see if I am being unreasonable.