A word about 'bullying' in AIBU

[Alifelivedforwards]

Looooonnng time poster/leaver/lurker/delurker/name changer (let's say I have a love/hate relationship with Mumsnet like I know a lot of you do!).

The 'bullying' issue comes up again and again on AIBU.

In my opinion what happens is that there is so much traffic on here and if your OP pushes lots of buttons (usually in a negative way ie people strongly disagree with you) you will get a lot of responses very quickly.

Therefore you will get the same comments from many people who are cross posting with each other so it feels like people berating you as one gang.

Also, despite cries of 'RTFT', people don't always because they don't have time, so they might be repeating what others said.

I really don't think it's 'bullying', though of course sometimes people go too far and are unpleasant.

To those who say people turn into aggressive arseholes on AIBU - no it's pretty obvious that on an anon internet forum people can just be more direct and speak the thoughts they have in real life!

AIBU???

I used to like aibu. i've had some excellent advice, support and reality checks here over the years - on my twenetieth or so name change, due another. Nowadays though I think it's rubbish. No proper insight, just people not reading the threads, just enjoying putting the boot in, personal insults and dull minded selfish folk without empathy for others with no interest in debate.

i blame the tories

ho hum

jinx piscivorus. you said pretty much excactly what i meant to say

In a cyber setting a bully will be obnoxious and coercive in their actions so the target of their behaviour will be belittled when they call them on it as their justification will be that a majority feel the same as the bully. Where as the reality is that a lot of people have been coerced or influenced by that one individual. A bully will behave like this all of the time and therefore will move on to different targets once they have had enough. A bully is therefore not defined by their prolonged harassment of one individual, it is more that 'bullying' is their 'modus operandi'.

I've only been on this site a year,maybe abit longer but very recently I've noticed people piling in to kick an OP when they're down.It DOES seem quite desperate though,I just imagine some sad,lonely man/woman who wants to be in with the cool gang,who are also sad lonely men/women sat at home with nothing else to do but get enjoyment from other people's sadness.
It's not bullying though just nastiness.

I haven't RTFT so on that score you are not being unreasonable! And yes sometimes it can look like everyone is piling on, be a use they are. But there is real bullying that goes on on some threads and some people really believe they are entitled to talk to other humans in an incredibly rude and aggressive manor, which is bullying.

Oopse Zombie thread!