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AIBU?

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To have expected this woman to move seats

610 replies

appletarts · 16/01/2014 21:05

I was on the train back from London, with a first class ticket. In the carriage there was one space available for a buggy with a seat facing it, also described as disabled access. I arrived just as a woman was putting her things on the seat, I said excuse me do you think I could put my buggy here? She goes yes but sits down in the seat opposite it. Uh... I said do you think I could have that seat so I can look after my child during the journey and she starts moaning saying she's booked in advance and wants to sit in her booked seat. I asked her does she have a specific need which means she needs this seat, she says no. I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then. She then moans more saying she's booked and why is she being made out to be in the wrong, lots of eye rolling and tutting on her part. I say she can sit in 99% of the seats available and I need this 1%, I need this one seat. Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted and sits with a cats arse face for most of journey sighing everytime my dd dared utter a gurgle. Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?

OP posts:
moldingsunbeams · 17/01/2014 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coco44 · 17/01/2014 19:02

op can I ask are generally an anxious kind of person? were you actually a worried about coping without having the pushchair spave-or did you just think it would make life a bit easier?

nauticant · 17/01/2014 19:06

Still, the OP got what she wanted. Which, after all, is the purpose of the world.

helenthemadex · 17/01/2014 19:10

To have expected this woman to move seats

for me this shows the attitude of the OP, if she had written WIBU "to ask this woman if she would mind moving/swapping seats" it would have maybe shown her in a better light, it was the expectation and indignation

EnlightenedOwl · 17/01/2014 19:10

i would'nt have moved.

PeachyPlumFairy · 17/01/2014 19:12

Each to their own but I'd rather someone asked if ds3 had a specific need for that seat (he does) than just assume he didn't and kick off tbh.

I hope she DID have a need, I know if I was allocated a seat of this type though and didn't need it I would either raise with ticket office or if II didn't realise in advance feel really embarrassed. I'd move if it didn't cause issues for anyone else.

perfectstorm · 17/01/2014 19:26

It's lovely when people go out of their way to help you when you're pregnant or with a baby/very young child, sure. The problem starts when you start demanding people inconvenience themselves.

I've travelled on trains a zillion times with a baby/toddler, and it was great when the wheelchair place and seat were free, sure. But it honestly never even crossed my mind to ask people to move when it wasn't free. I'd just park the buggy and then move to a seat with the baby, and it was no big deal at all. I'm really amazed that anyone could think that a big deal - babies are pretty portable, after all.

perfectstorm · 17/01/2014 19:32

Incidentally, you never answered the poster who picked up on your reference to changing pooey nappies in the carriage, and asked if you had actually done that?

Sorry, but that's what train loos, or at worst connecting corridors, are for.

aderynlas · 17/01/2014 19:34

Maybe try being nicer in the way you ask op. You were rude, the whole well do you want to meet my childs needs speech was neither smart or clever. It was quite simply rude.

ComposHat · 17/01/2014 19:37

She did move. Why weren't you happy?

I don't think she was sufficiently grovelling for the op's liking as she vacated the seat she'd reserved and paid for.

Imagine the shock the op had: walking into the carriage and seeing the woman sitting there, bold as brass not anticipating that the op might sit there on an arbitrary whim.

Beeyump · 17/01/2014 19:42

Ahh, I would have had a 'cat's arse' face too, op, just like the poor, ousted woman. How charming you do sound. I think the insight that this thread has provided into your 'isn't pretty. Smile

hooochycoo · 17/01/2014 19:47

did you answer my question jemima?

the wheelchair space and it's companion seat isn't bookable unless you need it for a wheelchair, that's probably why the OP didn't book it. Not sure how the other lady booked it, presumably an error of some kind.

When I travel I usually book a seat in the same carriage as the wheelchair space, and then if a wheelchair user needs the space i can move without worry.

merrymouse, we'll just need to disagree i guess. i was only trying to show how the assumption of hidden disability on the part of the other lady was a red herring. you didn't get it. never mind.

pinkyredrose · 17/01/2014 20:02

Christ OP why are you incapable of answering a simple question?

WHY DIDN'T YOU BOOK THE SEAT YOURSELF IF IT WAS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU?

coffeeinbed · 17/01/2014 20:05

Moved Woman also didn't smile at PFB when she gurgled later on.
A hanging offence if I've ever seen any.

hooochycoo · 17/01/2014 20:09

pinkyredrose, I know i'm not the OP, but i did just answer your question in the post above yours.

the wheelchair space and it's companion seat isn't bookable unless you need it for a wheelchair, that's probably why the OP didn't book it. Not sure how the other lady booked it, as she shouldn't of been able to, even if she had a different kind of disability. presumably an error of some kind.

if you phone up and ask to book a space for your buggy on a train you are told that you can use the wheelchair space, but cannot book it, you can only use it if it's unbooked. You are also told the same by train and platform staff.

ComposHat · 17/01/2014 20:13

I am still slightly narked by the deletions on this thread. I think the MNHQ are applying dual standards.

The op sticks up an account of how she hectored and bullied a woman out of her seat, describing her in derogatory terms, seemingly for the heinous crime of existing and being on a train. If that isn't a personal attack I don't know what is.

When a number of posters respond with the smallest fraction of the vitriol that the original poster displayed, they find their posts deleted and are subject to the op's crowing about the deletions.

Either delete everything or accept that in situations like this, the Op has by the tone of her opening post that the gloves are off.

BackOnlyBriefly · 17/01/2014 20:23

hooochycoo if the seat IS bookable as a wheelchair space then can we be sure it's not bookable if you have some other disability that requires extra room?

In the long run it doesn't matter because the OP didn't know it wasn't booked and didn't know if the woman was disabled so her actions were no different than if the woman had been in a wheelchair at the time.

BackOnlyBriefly · 17/01/2014 20:24

Agree about the deletions. Isn't peer pressure one way to stop people behaving so anti-socially? You have to be able to tell people (especially when they ask) that they were in the wrong.

hooochycoo · 17/01/2014 20:28

Back on briefly , i answered that a page ago, but i don't think anyone read my post.

here's the links again

the wheelchair space is different from other priority seating for people who have disabilities and other needs.

www.virgintrains.co.uk/assets/pdf/assisted-travel/dppp_may_2011.pdf look at 7.2 Seats on trains

www.crosscountrytrains.co.uk/customer-service/travel-assistance/disabled-people's-protection-policy look at on the train

static.eastcoastcdn.co.uk/cdn-1ce1439e6d2ffe4/documents/making%20rail%20accessible/making-rail-accessible26feb2013.pdf look at page eighteen

'All our trains have designated wheelchair spaces in First Class and Standard accommodation. There are “assistance” buttons nearby and at least one wheelchair accessible toilet with “assistance” buttons. Wheelchair spaces are available in
Coach L in First Class and Coach F in Standard accommodation. Our staff keep an eye on these seats to ensure they are available for those who need them. You’ll find pictures of the layout of these carriages at the back of this booklet.
Our trains have “priority” seating near coach doors, which have folding tables and armrests for easier access. These are for customers with disabilities, pregnant women, those with impairments to their mobility or for older people. Space is available beneath these seats for an assistance dog.'

If you ring up to book assisted travel you will only be booked into the wheelchair space if you are a wheelchair user. if you have other disabilities or needs then you'll be booked into the most appropriate priority seat.

MidniteScribbler · 17/01/2014 20:40

Dear god OP, please don't ever, EVER, try and get on a plane.

HoneyDragon · 17/01/2014 20:43

Standard MO for ops like this, they think the deletions make them both reasonable and correct.

OP posts:
BackOnlyBriefly · 17/01/2014 20:48

Thanks hooochycoo, I missed it the first time.

ferretyfeet · 17/01/2014 20:56

Oh I think the OP knows very well she has been rude after the feedback she has got on here but I don't think she will admit it in a million years.and she still hasn't answered the question as to why she didn't book a seat herself.

hooochycoo · 17/01/2014 21:15

i think everyone did backonbriefly, i'm finding this thread quite odd. Such vitriol against the OP, such righteous assumptions about the woman in the wheelchair companion seat and such complete post blindness when i try to post some facts.

ferrety feet , I know i'm not the OP, but i did just answer your question in the post a couple above yours.

the wheelchair space and it's companion seat isn't bookable unless you need it for a wheelchair, that's probably why the OP didn't book it. Not sure how the other lady booked it, as she shouldn't of been able to, even if she had a different kind of disability. presumably an error of some kind.

if you phone up and ask to book a space for your buggy on a train you are told that you can use the wheelchair space, but cannot book it, you can only use it if it's unbooked. You are also told the same by train and platform staff.

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