To have expected this woman to move seats

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I was on the train back from London, with a first class ticket. In the carriage there was one space available for a buggy with a seat facing it, also described as disabled access. I arrived just as a woman was putting her things on the seat, I said excuse me do you think I could put my buggy here? She goes yes but sits down in the seat opposite it. Uh... I said do you think I could have that seat so I can look after my child during the journey and she starts moaning saying she's booked in advance and wants to sit in her booked seat. I asked her does she have a specific need which means she needs this seat, she says no. I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then. She then moans more saying she's booked and why is she being made out to be in the wrong, lots of eye rolling and tutting on her part. I say she can sit in 99% of the seats available and I need this 1%, I need this one seat. Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted and sits with a cats arse face for most of journey sighing everytime my dd dared utter a gurgle. Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?

The more you hear, the more you know you were reasonable?

Ah, my favourite sort of AIBU.

AIBU?

Almost everyone: Yes, absolutely and totally

Oh well, I know I'm right.

She was a tutter and an eye roller

• perhaps this was because of the way you (as opposed to your child) behaved?

ps. I am a mum who travels with small children. You didn't bloody stand up for me. Don't begin to imagine you speak for 'all' mums.

I don't even know why you're posting. You got what you wanted. Woman you evicted after you made yourself thoroughly unpleasant wasn't willing and showed a degree of displeasure. She's perfectly entitled to do so. I'm sure your sense of self-righteousness meant that her reaction had no effect on you whatsoever, so why complain?

Metebelis3 - thanks for attempt to clarify for me, but as you say this doesn't answer the question!

I'm off now because wasted too much time on this thread!

I asked if she had a specific need. Seriously?! I would have told you to fuck right off at that point. Of course YADBU. Especially because being someone who used to commute on trains for 4years with a toddler in tow. Unless your baby was a newborn there's no way in hell they would have sat quietly strapped in for the 3hours.

I initially thought the space was merely bigger for a wheelchair and not a priority space for people with disabilities which shaped my first answer.

Obviously people have pointed out reasons why the woman may have needed the space. I hadn't equated it with the space on a bus.OP was obviously then being U to quiz the woman

Some the posts to OP have been shocking though.

the wheelchair space is different from other priority seating for people who have disabilities and other needs seasicksal.

www.virgintrains.co.uk/assets/pdf/assisted-travel/dppp_may_2011.pdf look at 7.2 Seats on trains

www.crosscountrytrains.co.uk/customer-service/travel-assistance/disabled-people's-protection-policy look at on the train

static.eastcoastcdn.co.uk/cdn-1ce1439e6d2ffe4/documents/making%20rail%20accessible/making-rail-accessible26feb2013.pdf look at page eighteen

'All our trains have designated wheelchair spaces in First Class and Standard accommodation. There are “assistance” buttons nearby and at least one wheelchair accessible toilet with “assistance” buttons. Wheelchair spaces are available in
Coach L in First Class and Coach F in Standard accommodation. Our staff keep an eye on these seats to ensure they are available for those who need them. You’ll find pictures of the layout of these carriages at the back of this booklet.
Our trains have “priority” seating near coach doors, which have folding tables and armrests for easier access. These are for customers with disabilities, pregnant women, those with impairments to their mobility or for older people. Space is available beneath these seats for an assistance dog.'

My son has a neurological muscle disorder which effects his mobility. I'm quite aware of hidden disabilities. The wheelchair space is not priority for people with other disabilities. Neither is it priority for buggies, but it is the only space on a train for an unfolded buggy. The other priority seating is unsuitable for that purpose.

That had been my thinking hoochy.

there are other seats on trains that are close to the toilet that you can book through assisted travel that are not the wheelchair space.

If only there were some way to make an unfolded buggy smaller so it could fit elsewhere.

Something for the boffins to work on, eh?

obviously if the wheelchair space is needed for a wheelchair user then you should fold your buggy. but if it available then it is the only space that you can leave a sleeping baby in a buggy , etc. It makes a train journey with a baby/toddler so much easier. You will be directed towards it by the train staff if you ask , on the understanding that you will fold it if the space is needed.

i'm not a hero, if the space is available then i'll use it. But ofcourse not at the expense of a wheelchair user. but yes i would hope other people with needs that can be accomodated by sitting in other priority seats to move.

but again, this is why trains need more flexible, folding, bookable seats.

in front of the baby too! can you imagine the horror!

i was once travelling with my newborn and toddler with the sleeping toddler in front of double buggy and suitcase in back, newborn in sling, travel cot over handle of buggy. I was in the wheelchair space. We got the a station and a wheelchair user was waiting for the train. So i got up to take the suitcase out the back of the buggy and stow in advance of moving sleeping toddler to my seat and folding buggy etc. Then the platform guard came on and said the lady had told me not to worry, she could see how much an effort it would be for me and she was quite happy to go to the other end of the train where there was a wider area for bicycle access and travel there. I was so touched.

not much point posting if you are simply get well I think I am right....What an earth would you of done if someone in a wheelchair got on the train...

YABU. But I am sure you won't agree.

Perhaps if you had simply asked nicely instead of browbeating the woman, she would have given HER SEAT up easily.

You sound charming!

aaaagh zzzzzzzz, no that's not what i'm saying. ofcourse it isn't. i'm saying that there are other priority seats available for people with disabilities, hidden or not, but the wheelchair space is the only space suitable for wheelchairs, and also buggies. I'm getting the idea that most of you prefer to be heroes, fold your buggy instantly and sit in a cloud of your own smug satisfaction that you are right. But you don't need to. If you ask you will be told that you can use the wheelchair space if it is free and on the understanding that you move if it is needed. And that is fair enough.

The rights of those with disabilities are not advanced by acting in an entitled manner any more than the rights of mothers are. If you have a continence issue there are other bookable seats near the toilet. If you have a guide dog their are other seats with space for them. If you have limited mobility, there are other seats close to exits and ramps.etc. The wheelchair space is not a catch all disabled space. And to insist it is is wrong, and also fairly patronising to people with other disabilities

Hooray for hooochycoo!!!! The voice of reason!

Of course the usual has happened here where posters read all sorts which has never been written. I never said my needs took precedence over a disabled person, I never said I wouldn't have moved if a wheelchair user needed it (who wouldn't?!) Nobody has likened a toddler to a disability. I suppose sticking to the original story isn't very exciting for some folk. I asked this woman if she would mind letting me have that seat as there were plenty more on the carriage, I was in no way rude (infront of the baby can you imagine? Asking someone can they please move? someone call ss quick!)

Oh and don't you just love it when posters say I was rude (no evidence) and tell me to F**k off and threaten violence to me and pram, no irony there then eh.

Well done OP, you've made a friend.

We didn't tell you to fuck off. We said we would have told you to fuck off if you had asked us what specific needs she had. You asked someone who had paid for a RESERVED seat to move out of her reserved seat. Of course you were rude.

I think that no matter how many times you reiterate the story, you're still BU. Probably not what you want to hear though.