To have expected this woman to move seats

[appletarts]

I was on the train back from London, with a first class ticket. In the carriage there was one space available for a buggy with a seat facing it, also described as disabled access. I arrived just as a woman was putting her things on the seat, I said excuse me do you think I could put my buggy here? She goes yes but sits down in the seat opposite it. Uh... I said do you think I could have that seat so I can look after my child during the journey and she starts moaning saying she's booked in advance and wants to sit in her booked seat. I asked her does she have a specific need which means she needs this seat, she says no. I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then. She then moans more saying she's booked and why is she being made out to be in the wrong, lots of eye rolling and tutting on her part. I say she can sit in 99% of the seats available and I need this 1%, I need this one seat. Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted and sits with a cats arse face for most of journey sighing everytime my dd dared utter a gurgle. Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?

What was the point of posting?

You are not prepared to listen to another point of view so a bit of a wasted exercise.

And I can only imagine the amount of tantrums you see Op....

You did not stick up for mums/women whatever.

You made yourself look like a entitled fool whose sense of perspective fell out of her fanny along with the child, and if anything you have given "mums" a bad name and further grist to the mill of those people who think children (and their screechy parents) shouldn't be allowed to inconvenience others.

"I think I was right".

And therein lies your problem. I have counted 2 posters on this thread who albeit with misgivings, have decided you ANBU. Everyone else thinks you're ridiculous.

Am I being unreasonable?

No I'm not.

Why ask?

I think Op must see quite a bit of "tutting and eye rolling"

I imagine she does, Only1scoop.

flip, I guess the point of posting was that given the majority of MNers have children, and possibly travel, with pushchairs, on public transport, we were always going to tell her how fab she was in dealing with woman-without-child-or-disability on train.

Just goes to show dunnit?

But they're ALL wrong Scoopers because she is not being unreasonable.

People keep saying first class is 'never full'. Well, maybe not on your route (although actually, I doubt it. On the trains on which I travel, first class is invariably either completely or nearly full, at least for the first hour or two of the journey. And it's often the case that every traveller has a seat reservation.

But you are standing up for 'mums' based on assumptions that:

1. there is a buggy space on a train.
2. sitting with a small child on your lap on public transport is not tolerable
3. toddlers can only consume food in a buggy when out and about
4. there is no imaginable reason why somebody might need a seat more than you if they look like a 'business woman'.

At least dads and other care givers can feel relieved that you aren't standing up for them too.

Classic AIBU - the majority say YES, OP says No.............

Why bluddy well ask then?

Goodness me. I didn't know having a first class ticket prioritised you over disabled people.

This kind of behaviour give all of us mothers a bad name

Everyone is entitled to sit on the seat they booked. That is the whole point of booking a seat. You asked her if you could put your buggy there. She agreed. You then asked her to move seats. You were entitled and unreasonable.

Metebelis3 - well I wish we did know the answer to this question i.e. was it full as that makes quite a lot of difference to both women's behaviour.

OP = do book your seat in future though. It does save a lot of hassle.

I think we need to see a detailed seating plan of the carriage, with dimensions.

6cats I find your post offensive. Sure, there is a specific incident in question here. But to say that pregnant women have no special requirements is tosh. You have backs under terrible strain, incontinence, lowered immune responses, the works. Are you saying they can be treated EXACTLY THE SAME as someone who isn't pregnant??? I find that a specious argument.
Similarly people with young babies do face difficulties. It's very easy to slam them but personally with health issues of my own and a small baby who cannot yet walk going anywhere is a logistical nightmare.
It doesn't excuse an entitled attitude of course and as many people on here have noted, you cannot expect understanding or consideration but be grateful when it is shown.
So to that extent I do think OP WBU.

Mim The OP (who seems to be the very model of an unreliable witness) has said both that first class wasn't full, and that it was full when the train departed. It's entirely possible that first class was fully booked (or nearly so) even if not everyone was in their seat yet (sometimes my train boards 20 mins before departure. I'm not going to be sitting for 20 mins on the train. I board 5 mins before departure (or less)).

"I think I stood up for all the mums who feel like an inconvenience to other people because they have small children."

You're a regular Rosa parks

The fullness of the carriage doesn't really make the OP more or less reasonable.

For whatever reason The other woman had booked her seat. She wasn't more or less entitled to it based on how many other people were on the train. It just isn't that difficult to sit with a child on your lap.

Dear lord, not in my name OP. Not in my name.

YWBU.

I've managed long distance train journeys with toddler DS. On the last one I had to set off at about his bedtime (long story including a deadline and 2-day warning of a funeral).

I managed fine in standard class, admittedly I would have struggled more had people around me not offered to take one end of the buggy at the steps, entertained DS by playing peepo etc, but I wasn't relying on that. By mid-evening he was getting tired and grumpy and couldn't settle in the carriage. I ended up parking his buggy in a vestibule luggage rack, facing the wall so he would sleep (because being under bright lights and seeing people was keeping him awake).

Somehow I managed all of this without turfing other people out of their seats or acting entitled whilst in an emotional state which meant I was on the verge of collapsing into a sobbing heap.

Not sure how much point there is posting when the OP is so determined not to take anyone else's view on board but...

I often book tickets for my aunt to come and visit on Virgin. She is not registered disabled or visibly disabled in any way. She has an issue with her bladder which means often she suddenly has to go to the loo with little warning. When I book her tickets, virgin asks if you want to be near the luggage rack, phone charging point, quiet seats etc and I always tick the close to toilet box and she is reserved the seat you are describing.

If it had been her yesterday there is absolutely no way she would have been able to mention her problem to a complete stranger (and a rude one at that) but would have sat worrying throughout the journey about whether anyone would sit next to her blocking her in, would she get to the loo on time...whereas you only had a toddler and a large chip on your shoulder to carry.

I think I did the right thing, I think I stood up for all the mums who feel like an inconvenience to other people because they have small children
no you forced a woman out of her reserved seat!
because you had one child with you?
ffs.