To have expected this woman to move seats

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I was on the train back from London, with a first class ticket. In the carriage there was one space available for a buggy with a seat facing it, also described as disabled access. I arrived just as a woman was putting her things on the seat, I said excuse me do you think I could put my buggy here? She goes yes but sits down in the seat opposite it. Uh... I said do you think I could have that seat so I can look after my child during the journey and she starts moaning saying she's booked in advance and wants to sit in her booked seat. I asked her does she have a specific need which means she needs this seat, she says no. I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then. She then moans more saying she's booked and why is she being made out to be in the wrong, lots of eye rolling and tutting on her part. I say she can sit in 99% of the seats available and I need this 1%, I need this one seat. Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted and sits with a cats arse face for most of journey sighing everytime my dd dared utter a gurgle. Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?

YABU. Very. How dare you make her move when she went to the trouble of booking that seat? I would have been so pissed off. And I wouldn't have budged.

Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted

That's because you evicted her from her seat. She had far more right to the seat than you did because she booked the seat.

Were you planning to leave you child in the buggy for 3 hours? YABU about that as well.

Next time, use the buggy space, take your child out of the buggy and go and find your own seat.

I'd have shoved your buggy where the sun doesn't shine OP.

Can see you have been dragged up not brought up with you VVU behaviour.

The pity of it is you could have salvaged this with politeness and forward planning by booking yourself.

reading this thread it is no wonder the English have a reputation of being mean spirited at times

i can not imagine not wanting to help out a paren/s with a young child or children if i am in a position to. if i am not fine but if i am what is the problem thankfully i have never come across such difficult people as on this thread

If you were travelling East Coast I know exactly the seat you are talking about OP. And it would be perfect for travelling with a young child in a buggy. So you reserve it, easily done when you book your ticket. But if you don't reserve it and someone else does, you are so unreasonable demanding they move.

If the ticket inspector told you to put the buggy there, I am sure he meant to put the actual buggy there and for you you sit elsewhere. Did you know you can be fined on Trains for not sitting in your reserved seat? The lady might have been worried about this and not being unhelpful at all.

That's interesting zzzzz and something I disagreed with earlier. (I said that if it's the area I'm thinking of, it's not "disabled" seating, it's a wheelchair seat. Priority seating is elsewhere and clearly marked as such, reminding you to give that seat to someone in greater need).

What limitations, apart from being in a wheelchair, would require the use of the wheelchair space zzzzz?

No slipper people don't like to be spoken to like crap... no matter where they come from.

All you have to do is not expect it, but be appreciative and most people will change tack in response.

Freudian, i can not imagine not wanting to help out a paren/s with a young child or children if i am in a position to.

Even if she's rude? How much rudeness would you put up with before deciding to be less helpful. And let's remember, she did actually move (escape).

I think that anyone who comes on a thread and says something along the lines of " have you ever had a toddler on your lap for 3 hours" or "have you ever had to fold a buggy with a baby in your arms and a toddler" or have you ever had to go to the loo with your baby in a buggy" should be banned for a week

This is mumsnet, the odds are good that a large majority of people have children and have had to do one or all of the above

You are not the only person with a baby!!!!!

HelloBoys..in fairness it's a bit rich to accuse the OP of being rude then go on like that.

Freudian I think the chances are that if the OP has spoken in a decent manner to the women, she probably would have moved. As would most people.

i said before i would not push it

but the comments of just because you have a child why expect others to blah blah blah

i never expected others to help but often they did and i do too, you know it is called being considerate to others

thankfully i only have apart from the odd occasion had this response from others

People are very friendly if you are nice. But it doesn't sound like the op was nice about it.

i asked zzz that too, I can't think of any hidden disabilities that would require use of the wheelchair space. Priority seating elsewhere, yes, but not the only wheelchair space on the train.

I'm still of the opinion that all trains should have one seat each carriage that can be folded up/removed so that it can be used for people with disabilities and people travelling with small children. And it should be bookable. As should the seats next to it be. It's ridiculous that there is only one space on the train for wheelchair/buggy use and that it isn't bookable.

For whoever said the seat near the wheelchair space isn't anything to do with disabled people, the train companies call it the Companion Seat, and expect to offer it when you book the wheelchair space.

That's true it is rude but her responses so far have been rude back and I'm on my phone so can't be bothered to do the laughs crossed out bits etc.

I wouldn't really shove her DC's perambulator anywhere but may have thought it.

I'm not the only one thinking OP is lacking in manners either.

really

not from the comments i have read on here, you choose to have a child your problem is coming across loud and clear

On the line I use a lot the train manager makes an announcement that everyone who is on a fixed ticket has to sit in their allocated seat, and they check both seat no and ticket when they come round. This is a very busy route and so if you haven't got a seat booked or are sitting in a booked seat and then have to move, chances are you may not get a seat.

This is such an outrageous OP, this lady may have quite rightly believed she wasn't allowed to sit in a seat different to her allocated one, or might have booked that one specifically to have extra leg room. If she had moved, it may have invalidated her ticket (this varies from line to line how much they care about this).

Am just amused by the number of people posting stuff like "you are so rude. If you'd asked me to move id have told you to fuck off and smashed ypu your buggy"

I have swapped with people so children or couples can sit together, but on a busy long-distance train, I would sit in the correct ticket allocation now because it seems to be something train companies are clamping down on (or perhaps just the route I use, London to countryside).

Fanjo

The wheelchair space IS bookable, and the seat with it. By people with wheelchairs!

And also by people with disabilities which mean those seats make things a lot easier for them. Which could be all sorts of mobility problems, or musculoskeletal problems which mean people can't sit in certain positions.

OP:AIBU?
MN: Yes.
OP: oh no I'm not

And the band played on.

Err I wouldn't have shoved her buggy and not been rude but I'd have thought it.

You see I'm the stupid sort of sap who holds doors open, offers to carry buggies upstairs for mums etc.

I think that's called manners and I expect no thanks for doing it either.