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AIBU?

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To have expected this woman to move seats

610 replies

appletarts · 16/01/2014 21:05

I was on the train back from London, with a first class ticket. In the carriage there was one space available for a buggy with a seat facing it, also described as disabled access. I arrived just as a woman was putting her things on the seat, I said excuse me do you think I could put my buggy here? She goes yes but sits down in the seat opposite it. Uh... I said do you think I could have that seat so I can look after my child during the journey and she starts moaning saying she's booked in advance and wants to sit in her booked seat. I asked her does she have a specific need which means she needs this seat, she says no. I said well I'm sure you don't want to meet the needs of my child for three hours do you? How about you let me have that seat so I can look after my DD and if someone comes on a disputes you being in that free seat we'll deal with it then. She then moans more saying she's booked and why is she being made out to be in the wrong, lots of eye rolling and tutting on her part. I say she can sit in 99% of the seats available and I need this 1%, I need this one seat. Eventually she moves but behaves as if she's been evicted and sits with a cats arse face for most of journey sighing everytime my dd dared utter a gurgle. Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?

OP posts:
lollylaughs · 17/01/2014 08:55

Yes you have a child. Many of us do. Wink. I don't expect special treatment wherever I go, I plan ahead if I need to, but I certainly don't expect other people to move or change seats for me. If they offered, that is different....

TheDoctrineOf2014 · 17/01/2014 09:00

I also don't think the OP would have moved if, later in the journey, another passenger needed the alternate seat the woman had selected and she'd come to try and swap back.

coco44 · 17/01/2014 09:01

How come you make such a meal of caring for one DC on a train.I have made journeys with a 4 and 2 yr old plus a baby in sling- sometimes without a seat and we coped and the kids though it was fun clinging on !!

Caitlin17 · 17/01/2014 09:10

Upthechimney OP hasn't said where she was going but actually London to Edinburgh even in first class can be full up so swapping around on reserved seats isn't necessarily an option.

I'm glad someone else mentioned that even after she got what she wanted she still thought it necessary to come on here and whinge and criticise. No mention of her thanking the woman for moving.

diddl · 17/01/2014 09:14

I thought that if you booked in advance & were allocated a seat, not sitting there invalidated your ticket?

MarshaBrady · 17/01/2014 09:14

Did you thank her? If not I bet she wanted to turf you out again.

Bluestocking · 17/01/2014 09:18

Has anyone else noticed that OP also made a point of changing His/Her Royal Baby Highness' pooey nappy in the carriage rather than in the loo?
OP, you need to take a long, hard, serious look at the way you behave and your lack of consideration for others.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 17/01/2014 09:23

You are one of those people OP aren't you who has a lot of difficulty understanding the difference between actual, designated disabled spaces and a gap you can stick your pushchair if there's room.

You are not disabled. If there is a free space you may put your pushchair there. There is no such thing as a space designed for pushchairs.
Do you know why?

Because it is entirely possible for you to fold your pushchair and sit anywhere else. Which a person with a disability cannot do.

BarbarianMum · 17/01/2014 09:23

The thing with swapping from the seat you booked to another one is, when the person who has booked your seat turns up, you then get to stand.

Been caught like that once. Never again. I'm rarely such a decent human being that I want to stand up for 3 hours or sit on the floor any more.

notso · 17/01/2014 09:24

Grin at ComposHat

I would never get on a train and expect not to have to fold my buggy up. A baby is not a reason to need a particular seat.
There is no harm in asking people to move but if they say no you don't stand there haranguing them to move.

NigellasDealer · 17/01/2014 09:25

yes if i had booked a seat I would have told you to do one, you are not disabled you have a baby.

CyberMenStrual · 17/01/2014 09:27

Apple, you've posted on AIBU - 99.9% of other posters seem to think you are. Will you actually take on board any of the very sensible comments that have been made, or was it a rhetorical question, and you are completely convinced that you were being totally reasonable?

Oh, and I agree with the vast majority of posters - you were UR, and more than a little rude as well.

Dawndonnaagain · 17/01/2014 09:28

Seriously? Is this unreasonable of me?
Yep, and bloody ill-mannered, too.

cory · 17/01/2014 09:29

appletarts Fri 17-Jan-14 06:51:37

"On reflection I wish I had left buggy where it was, or folded neatly and then settled in next to cats arse face woman and let her get totally inconvenienced by toddler on mums lap for 3 hours, including eating her dinner, waving her toys, doing pooey nappy, screaming for a bit, thrashing for a bit, climbing up the chair for a bit, getting on the boob for a bit and then moaning for an hour while she fell asleep because to settle my baby to sleep in her buggy in a space which is specified for buggys would be 'entitled'. "

Please tell me you didn't change a toddler's pooey nappy in the carriage where other people were seated!!!

HellonHeels · 17/01/2014 09:29

Just out of interest OP, what would you have done had you reached that seat and found it occupied already by a parent with their buggy parked in the spot you wanted?

aderynlas · 17/01/2014 09:31

Think if you are going to carry on with your expectations op, you might need to try to be abit more polite to others.

Fleta · 17/01/2014 09:37

You were massively unreasonable and incredibly rude too. What you should have done is this. Gone to the lady and said "I'm really sorry, the guard has asked me to put the buggy here - I didn't realise I'd need to book. I know its a pain but is there any chance you could allow me to have that seat so I can sit with my child?"

Then if she said "sorry, I'd rather stay in my booked seat" - which is her absolute right, you say "no problem"

Just out of interest, what would you have done if a person in a wheelchair had got on......?

BarbarianMum · 17/01/2014 09:38

Judging from previous responses, probably tell them to do one Hmm.

UptheChimney · 17/01/2014 09:40

Upthechimney OP hasn't said where she was going but actually London to Edinburgh even in first class can be full up so swapping around on reserved seats isn't necessarily an option

Yes, I know that! Sorry, I should have said I was being sarcastic about the OP's belief that it was the other passenger who was being rude & unreasonable in wanting to sit in the seat that she had booked.

I've been in the position of having someone sit in my reserved seat, when I've asked them to move they've been grumpy, so I've found a seat elsewhere, only to find that I'm being asked to move because it was someone else's reservation!

That's why most train managers' advice (I've asked this) is to sit in your reserved seat.

Only1scoop · 17/01/2014 09:41

From reading Op's last post it seems words of advice from reasonable posters are a little wasted. It reads as if the woman had chose not to move op would have enjoyed making the journey as difficult as possible for everyone concerned.

GlitzAndGiggles · 17/01/2014 09:44

Yes YABU. I travelled on a 3 hour train journey with my dd when she was 8 weeks old and again when she was 18 months. I had a seat reserved both times but had to hold her for both journeys. No way in hell would I expect someone to move for me for the sake of my buggy. You sound like hard work

lottieandmia · 17/01/2014 09:50

YABU - you should have parked the pushchair and taken your child out of it. On some trains the space for pushchairs or wheelchairs is not near any seat at all. And if a disabled person got on you would have had to fold the pushchair anyway.

It does annoy me this attitude some parents have that because they have a child with them it doesn't matter who else in inconvenienced in their pursuit of priority in all situations. Like people who are happy to cause a queue of traffic in a car park while they wait for a parent and child space to become available. It's just ridiculous.

owlbegoing · 17/01/2014 09:51

Not read the whole post, just skimmed yours OP
A couple of things come to mind firstly...
See baby too young to buy a ticket for That's wrong for a start. If you get yourself a Family and Friends Railcard then the cost of your ticket (30% off) and the child's ticket (nearly 70% off) is often less than the price of your ticket before discount! Yes I know that you don't have to buy a ticket until the child is 5 but that doesn't mean that you can't. That way you have 2 seats.
Also why didn't you reserve a seat? Was it because you'd already planned to stake your claim to the disabled seat? If there had been someone in a wheelchair there then you'd have to find another seat anyway!

FreudiansSlipper · 17/01/2014 09:54

yanbu so what she booked her seat what has happened to making other peoples lives a little easier Hmm

but i would not have questioned her further if she did not want to move, if she did not want to be a little more considerate from the start she was not going to change her mind

zzzzz · 17/01/2014 09:55

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