That's no contact.
She has never liked me and been pretty vocal on her ideas of how I can change to be more like she thinks I ought to be for her son and gcs. I've kind of smiled sweetly, but it does hurt that I haven't been accepted as I am. At first I made a lot of effort, but she would still cry to dh and say I was not being 'open' enough, 'warm' enough, whatever. I often didn't even understand what she wanted from me.
Fil sadly died in December, but we went ahead and spent Xmas at her house as she really wanted us to. Of course, it was fraught. Somehow, I became a focus for the grief - both mil and dh projected it onto me. They pushed me away, and then told me I was selfish, not thinking of others, not supporting dh correctly etc. At one lunch, I had to leave the table as I began crying when mil snapped at me. Dh followed me and shouted, then left. Then mil came along and started shouting too. It all lasted a week and was pretty horrific.
It culminated in me walking off on the last morning, when I overheard dh and mil in loud voices bemoaning how I couldn't sew and look after the dcs properly. I have mild depression (being treated), and mil was saying it affected my ability to parent. Dh even said I was shit. I walked 6 miles to the train station and got the train home alone (although I did thank her for having us to stay). That's the last time I saw her.
Now I just don't want to see her again. I didn't choose her, she doesn't like me at all, and she no longer seems to be able to keep her mouth shut and be civil through her dislike.
I know she's greiving, but the comments and opinions on me are not new, only the intensity, volume and focus was more this time.