to be so upset at turning 40?

[bebespain]

I mean nothing is actually any different than when I was 39 but I am utterly distraught at becoming 40

It´s like I can suddenly see all the grey hairs and lines that were there before. Ironically I have had several bouts of illness since my birthday

Even worse is that I feel so old to be a Mum especially given that my youngest is only 14 months old...what was I thinking? She´ll be 11 and I´ll be 50 Didn´t I know all this before I had her, of course I did but it is all I can think about now. How come I was able to push it to the back of my mind before...

I honestly feel that all the age is just a number that is spouted is utter bollocks. I don´t want to be old.

Somebody tell me to get a grip

[Fillybuster]

Worra

OP, I turned 40 this month. Obviously nothing anyone else says is really going to change how you feel if you're determined to feel miserable about it, but I'd like to share an observation from my aunt (now 64).

She said she wished she had felt happier about turning 40 as this really was the best decade of her life. You're at the peak of 'being yourself': still young enough to take on new challenges and develop new skills but experienced enough to bring value and depth to a team. You've got a young family, but are already moving into the 'next' (post baby) stage - how exciting! And she said that she wished she'd known how good she looked at 40, compared to when she turned 50 or 60

Anyway, I'm (surprisingly) entirely fine with the whole 40 thing, partly as a result of her comments, so maybe that will help?

[neiljames77]

Being 40 now is nothing like it was 30 or 40 years ago. When I look at black and white photos of my Grandparents, they look middle aged when they were about 30. Everything is different now. I'm in my 40's but I'm really irresponsible.

[bibliomania]

Will be turning 40 in 3 months so really enjoying the pep talks about how great your forties are. My thirties threw up a few challenges - nothing extraordinary, just a horrible divorce and conflict over child residence and a few obstacles career-wise. I'm hoping against hope my 40s will be better.

[bebespain]

Hi all

Just wanted to say another big for all the kindness on this thread, I love MN

I am especially touched by those of you sharing your stories as older parents, it´s all very positve.

I honestly don´t mind being told to get a grip, I did ask for that. It´s just helpful to share which is something that´s a bit hard for me to do in real life. I don´t have many friends where I live (more than one and less than three) and much as I love them they aren´t the sort to empathise

Onwards and upwards...

[JessieMcJessie]

I turned 40 6 months ago. I was dreading it, didn`t want to mark it at all. DP, bless him, booked a surprise weekend away for just the two of us at a massive waterslide park complex and we behaved like children for the whole trip.

OP, I didn't meet my DP till a couple of years ago so I don't have any children yet and any we do have will be younger than yours when I am 50. Yet I clearly remember my parents'40ths because I was 14 at the time! That's a bit of a headfuck. However my Mum would have killed for the full and varied life I've had.