to be so upset at turning 40?

[bebespain]

I mean nothing is actually any different than when I was 39 but I am utterly distraught at becoming 40

It´s like I can suddenly see all the grey hairs and lines that were there before. Ironically I have had several bouts of illness since my birthday

Even worse is that I feel so old to be a Mum especially given that my youngest is only 14 months old...what was I thinking? She´ll be 11 and I´ll be 50 Didn´t I know all this before I had her, of course I did but it is all I can think about now. How come I was able to push it to the back of my mind before...

I honestly feel that all the age is just a number that is spouted is utter bollocks. I don´t want to be old.

Somebody tell me to get a grip

[Fairylea]

Whenever I feel down about my age I always have a look at famous and beautiful women older than me to give myself a pep talk (and yes I know it's not all about looks but still...)... I look at Jane Seymour who is 62 I think and was pictured on the beach in her bikini with her grandkids the other day and she looked absolutely ageless and amazing, and so happy. If I can look half as good as that life will be fine.

Health and happiness are the best anyone can wish for whatever age you are.

I was at my most miserable at 21 with serious health problems and lots of pain preventing me doing anything a normal 21 year old would do. So now many years on I live everyday like I am 21 again but doing it well this time.

You are never too old to do anything.

[eggsandwich]

I'm going to be fifty this week and my youngest child is also 11 years old, unfortunately getting older is one of life's certainties you either embrace it or spend the rest of you life miserable and depressed whenever it's your birthday.

[KareKare]

Enjoy being 40, it's not that old!

Someone told me on my 40th to take lots of photos as 'it's the last pretty birthday'!

I know what he meant, but how depressing.

[WorraLiberty]

Thanks Hester

Oddly though something good did come of it.

My now DH (who was a friend of the family) came to the funeral. I hadn't seen him for about 12 years.

We reconnected and have now been together for 13 years. My Sister always said we'd make a great couple

[WorraLiberty]

Sorry, and Zing xx

[Bunbaker]

I'm with formerbabe

Get a grip.

I had DD at 41 and am now 55. Stop overthinking it.

[HesterShaw]

'it's the last pretty birthday'!

Nonsense! Look at Helen Mirren and Judi Dench. They are both very pretty.

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

Worra

I think a step further for me was that when I had a MC I stopped worrying about dying.
I mean I still worry about DH or kids getting hurt, ill or the worst - but not about myself.
I fear of having pain or being scared but not about "going".
I know I'd just go and see my little girl whom I miss so much and that's that.


I think getting older is fine.
And it will be fun to dye my hair purple and piss anywhere I want or have a nap anytime and people would still have to be nice to me because I'm (Great)Grandma!
I wonder what I could get away with....coming down to breakfast without knickers?

[loisismyhero]

I'll be 47 next month and I can honestly say that my 40s have been great so far. I'm more comfortable in my skin than I've ever been. I'm more confident. I care less what people think about me. And I'm enjoying life more than I have in a long time. Embrace being 40 - it's absolutely nothing to be afraid of or depressed about. I had my youngest at 40 - he'll be 9 going on 10 when I turn 50. It's grand - honest!

[WorraLiberty]

Zing!

I just want to be the Catherine Tate nan

[tudorqueen]

I think, in a lot of cases, how you approach your big birthdays depends on the difference between what you thought life would be like that that age and what it actually was like. For me, being 30 was horrendous as I'd just got divorced and was a single parent, I'd had to give up nursing (a job I loved) for a management position that had more reasonable hours because I had no childcare. By the time I'd reached 40 life had changed completely and I was re-married, in a job I had come to love and happy with life. Now I'm 50 and life is still good .

[CHJR]

tudor, you say it so well!
OP, save some angst for when you turn 41 and 42, let alone 50. Personally I do think it must be someone else's turn to be middle-aged by now, and my turn to go back to 24 and do it all right this time. Why oh why does nature not listen to me? And why would anyone think "Mother" Nature is a woman??

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

Worra

you and me baby, that's the Fucking one!

[Gruntfuttock]

I'll be 60 next month. I still feel exactly the same as when I was in my late twenties. It's horrible to look in the mirror and see that you've turned into an old hag. This is me when I was young and (even) lovelier rs108.pbsrc.com/albums/n18/IloveConwy/Sue.jpg~320x480

[WorraLiberty]

I always assume the really glamorous over 50s on TV, have had botox and fillers.

Obviously I don't know if they have though.

[WorraLiberty]

That's a lovely photo Grunt

[Gruntfuttock]

Thanks, Worra. Sadly, my looks are fading fast with the advancing years.

[Badvoc]

I'm 41.
I still like the same humour, films, tv, music And nerdy/geeky stuff liked when I was 17...
I have become totally kick ass since entering my 40s.
I no longer waste time on people I dislike, I don't do anything I don't want to do and I am fine about being in bed by 9pm :)

[johnworf]

For me, turning 30 was horrid. I felt my youth was far behind me and I was hurtling toward middle age. Come my 40th birthday and I wasn't bothered. Two years and I'll be 50 and I plan to grow old disgracefully

My 92 year old grandma went into hospital and they took her to the geriatric ward. She said to my dad "I'm not staying here, they're all OLD!" He pointed out to her that she was probably one of the oldest ones in there.

It's just a number.

[TSSDNCOP]

Wait til 41, that totally blows.

40, loads of presents in blue boxes with white ribbon, big party, spoilt rotten.

41, square root of jack shit

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

john

I love your Grandma!

[MysterySpots]

I know what you mean about having a child that age when you are 40. I felt quite foolish with a one year old at 40, but mine is 6 now and I am 45 and it feels a lot better. I found turning 40 difficult, but now I don't care. I took up one of my childhood hobbies again, which has also made me quite fit and in good shape, so in fact I look better than I did when I was 40! Use it or lose at this stage I think!

[ZingChoirsOfAngels]

I'm having #7 in July and will be 40 in August.

I'm knackered, but I don't feel foolish.
I can't wait

[DumSpiroSperHoHoHo]

I'm 40 next year and have been stressing about it since I turned 35 .

I think for me it's a combination of my life not being anything like I thought it would be - I haven't achieved even a tiny proportion of what I thought I would by now and I can't envisage ever having enough time/money to do so.

In addition, 40 is a negative in my mind based on past events. Two of my friends (including my best friend) lost parents in their early teens - one was 39, the other was 41. My own mum had a breakdown in her early 40s, so those are the things I most associate with that age.

However...

I know IABU and am trying to adjust my thinking and set myself some small, achievable challenges before next September - had my first ever Pot Noodle t'other day - rock n roll , and am joining the gym next week.

As for the older parenting thing - I have a close friend who had her DD at 40 - they are 60 & 20 this year and have a fabulous relationship.

I also know someone through work who is 51... and has a 2yo!