to be so upset at turning 40?

[bebespain]

I mean nothing is actually any different than when I was 39 but I am utterly distraught at becoming 40

It´s like I can suddenly see all the grey hairs and lines that were there before. Ironically I have had several bouts of illness since my birthday

Even worse is that I feel so old to be a Mum especially given that my youngest is only 14 months old...what was I thinking? She´ll be 11 and I´ll be 50 Didn´t I know all this before I had her, of course I did but it is all I can think about now. How come I was able to push it to the back of my mind before...

I honestly feel that all the age is just a number that is spouted is utter bollocks. I don´t want to be old.

Somebody tell me to get a grip

Thanks again all, I am feeling a little brighter about it all, I think

DumSpiro - you hit the nail on the head there, for me it´s the same and my life isn´t what I thought or hoped it would be I live out of the UK and am very unhappy here and the thought of spending the next 7 years here, taking me to 47 isn´t a pleasant one in fact it´s frightening.

I like the idea of small, achievable challenges

Zing

I had DS2 when I was 40 and I will be 55 this year. My youngest close friend is 32 and my oldest is 67. I genuinely don't see my age as an issue or a barrier.

It must be tough if you're unhappy where you are. Is it a 'given' that you'll be they for another 7 years?

Re small, achievable things, this thread is good for inspiration.

Some of mine include getting some more writing published, having one of my paintings in an exhibition, applying for Mastermind (was going to do it this year but need another 12 months to decide on and revise my specialist subjects!), throw a pot, have a fish & chips and champagne picnic on the beach, take DD for a 'sausage sizzle' where we used to go with Brownies when I was her age...

...I have lots of more expensive adventurous ones too but they might have to wait a bit longer unless I win the lottery .

I turned 40 at Christmas. Get yourself a little treat, something like a 26 year-old toyboy. Did me the world of good.

Frank Sinatra said "my body maybe 40 but I am 22"!

literally just turned 50, oldest just turned 25 and youngest 13.. glad to be here and fairly healthy.

dye your hair, have your teeth whitened and go for good coverage in your foundation.

I had DS3 on my 40th birthday (outs myself to anyone who knows me), so you are not old to be a mum. My 30's were mostly spent in a job I hated, with 2 small children and no money - my 40's so far, well DS3 is fantastic, funny and gorgeous and the other two are clever caring funny teenagers (most of the time) great company, watching TBBT and Viva, training me in the slang and music they like, my career is now progressing although I thought I was past it and things are on the up!

Am 46 this year - it's not so bad. Am in good health, lots of energy and pretty much happy with my lot (I also look younger than me age [preens]). The only source of regret - I wish I had achieved more by this stage.

I guarantee that when you are 40 and 1 day you'll be feeling a bit silly and wondering why you were so concerned

Adds 26yo toy boy to the 'to do before I'm 40 list' just don't tell DH

Get a grip! My youngest was born when I was 40. In fact 3 weeks before I was 41.

Awww bit harsh to say get a grip! I've always had mini crises about milestone birthdays - I remember freaking out over my 30th which seems ridiculous now of course, but the feelings were valid at the time

I am 45 .... My forties have been fab .. i became a Mummy at 44 when we adopted our son .... IT is just a number. Enjoy and buy yourself something special/do something special to celebrate.

hmc the OP asked us to tell her to get a grip!

@ bebespain now owning a collection of grips!

so do you feel any better today?

40's YOUNG woman! honestly! you're not bloody old

These days there's so much you can do to improve your quality of life (money, time, health allowing). If you're really so bothered about it, then take some time to get to know yourself even better and work out what clothes, exercise, interests etc suit you at this point in your life.

My grandmother is 70 and has as much energy as a 50 year old. More energy than me sometimes and I'm 20! She runs after buses pulling out of the bus stop and knocks on the door for the driver to let her in and won't give up until they do! >love my grandmother she's so fun

I went through this when I turned 20. Didn't like not being a teenager anymore. After a lot of grief, I realised that I was still younger than I was ever going to be again, so I could either enjoy life or be increasingly depressed for the rest of my life.
Now early 50s. Having a great time.

Ah, so she did bikerunski - somebody needs to warn the OP about the downside though of increasing senior moments!

I'm 42 and had DC3 12 weeks ago and def don't feel old. In fact my life has been so much better since I turned 40 that I wouldn't want to be any younger again :)

I've just turned 35 (last November) I was pretty depressed but luckily my birthday coincided with the bestest thing EVER and so I completely forgot about it despite having a massive party which I managed to pretend was for the bestest thing ever and not my birthday. (Well kind of!)

Anyway, it's only just hit me this week that I'm an old cow now. I can see many wrinkles upon my ugly old face now. What makes it even worse is that I'll be 36 this year. BOO! I fucking hate that I'm middle aged now because I feel like I'm starting to turn invisible and very unattractive. I wasted so much of my youth worrying about being ugly and unattractive and fat...fuck if I could go back now I'd slap myself around the face with a big wet toad.

I'm 43. I don't look massively different to when I was 39. My life is better on the whole. Ageing is inevitable - why not stress about stuff you can actually change?

An old (verrry old) lady I was chatting to by the bread in Morrisons said to me "women dread being forty, but they shouldn't. It's the best age, You're all sorted out at forty".
I hope I will be. If not, there's always Botox.

When I turned 40 my youngest was 11 but when I turn 50 in 5 years my youngest will be 7. I'm loving my 40's though I'm sure I'm still a teenager really.

I think you need to count your blessings.

You are still alive.

You have a family.

Plenty of people either don't reach 40 or get to your age and haven't been lucky enough to have children.

It is normal to feel a bit wistful but distraught, no.

Big hug, OP. My 40th birthday sucked! You can't help what you feel, and being told to get a grip ain't that helpful. On the plus side, 42 was okay, because I was pregnant and had this immense feeling of "yay, life (quite literally) in the old girl yet." 43, 44, 45,46, 47 and 48 have passed in a haze of small-child induced exhaustion as a result, so I haven't had time to worry about it.

Seriously, though, it's not that bad. Think back to your twenties and how you thought about being mid-thirties? You thought that was ancient, I bet. Now you look back with fond nostalgia. I've a feeling that's how you'll feel about your forties by the time you're in your fifies, and so on. As women we're conditioned to think we're over the hill from about age 25 on, but really, we're not.

Think I might have a big blow-out for my 50th.