...about bathing my new baby?

[scantilymad]

Hi
I'm a long term lurker but this is my first post.
I am married with one four month old baby. Our baby has silent reflux, a tongue and lip tie that made breastfeeding difficult and I was diagnosed with PND eight weeks after the birth (a score of 19 which according to the HV is pretty high). Anyway, after battling through that little lot, we finally felt like we are getting in to some sort of structure and settling as a family.
My cousin came to visit last night and we shared a bottle of wine and were chatting generally about babies. I mentioned that I sometimes get in the bath with my baby boy in the evening on the days when I remember I haven't had time to bathe or shower for a couple of days and am feeling generally a bit grim. DH never gets home before 8pm so bath, bottle bed are down to me on weekdays.
My cousin looked genuinely shocked when I told her this and asked if I wore a bathing suit when I got in the bath? When I said no, as the point of a bath is to, you know, get clean, she implied it was very weird for me and my son to be naked in the bath together. She also thinks I'm putting him in danger in case I slip and drop him when I'm getting out or that he will drown because the adult bath is too deep. I don't wash my hair or shave or anything in his bath, just sit in it with him.
Sorry this is so long but I genuinely don't know now if I'm doing something inappropriate or dangerous? Am I? Being diagnosed with PND was a massive knock to my confidence and really makes me doubt my instincts/decisions.
Thank you

oh dear, does that mean i have scarred my DSs (6 months and 2.2 years) for life already? we love sharing a bath and it's georgeous to see the little ones giggle together when i sing "row your boat". however, i do agree you've got to be careful not to slip but surely, that goes without saying? anyway, happy bathing

Your cousin is completely wrong. Wrt getting in and out, do you have a baby bath? Line it with towels and pop it by the side of the bath, pop baby in baby bath, get in bath yourself, kneel up then scoop baby up, reverse to get out.

Or a DF swore that she could sort of float the baby bath on top of the bath water,pop baby in, get in bath, take baby out and snuggle.

I have only just managed to persuade DS to stop bathing with me. He's 8!

How odd that anyone should feel that way! Welcome to MN OP - there are wise women here who will shortly put paid to such ridiculousness.

your cousin sounds a bit ....odd ...i thought it was normal to bath with your babies. Although i must say exP would only do it with a pair of pants on, fair enuff i suppose ....

Not odd at all, I still sometime have one with ds3 who is nearly 3. Always have and my eldest is nearly 19 and it hasn't done him any harm

I suspect your cousin would have a fit if she knew about baby showering! We don't own a bath in our house, so myself or DH strips off and jumps in the shower with DS. He loves it! We just use water to clean him (less slippery) and keep a hand under an arm or leg when moving him about.

Enjoy your squishy bathrooms cuddles.

Your cousin is very strange. It is a perfectly normal thing to do IMO, and a lovely opportunity to bond with your LO - I have often remarked to DH that 3month old DD feels more like "mine" the less she is wearing. If we had a bath I'm sure I would be in with her all the time - and probably be much cleaner than I am most of the time at the minute! I don't think I would fit in the baby bath with her though...

That is totally normal. A nice bath with your son. Or sounds like she's anxious of him getting hurt which although she doesn't need to be is understandable if she's a worrier. But to think it is inappropriate for you to be naked around him is absurd! What's wrong with nudity? It's just the two of you being close. Ignore her.

We bath with our chikdren untill they are about five, not all the time but certainly if we want to.
Dd aged 2 gets really excited if we say we are going in with her, she runs around getting my towel and pjs!
Enjoy your baths, your cousin is uptight.

YADNBU. DH bathed with DD every single day up until she was about a year old and he took up valuable splashing room. I loved it - it gave me a few minutes peace to get her nappy and night clothes together before taking her out and giving her an epic breastfeed.

Thank you very much. I have a sort of warm glowy feeling at at such kind replies! It's hard to explain but I felt some people I told about the PND felt they then needed to assess everything I did as a parent. I think this issue particularly got to me as, to me, bathing with DS was a highlight in an otherwise sometimes pretty rubbish day! As I said, I did question my instincts due to the diagnosis but having read the replies will ignore cousin dearest and proceed!
Thank you for the tip about putting DS in the baby bath when we're getting out. I may grab 15 seconds to make use of some grown up soap once he's out and in the baby bath/towels!
Great welcome to Mumsnet for me. Very much appreciated.

I totally would wear a swimming costume in the bath

Well I would if it was in the middle of the bloody high street, in my own bathroom hmmmm nope.

Bathing with little ones is lovely and so much easier than faffing about with a baby bath or having to lean for ages over the tub, I keep a bouncy chair in the bathroom just for leaving baby in whilst I do my hair I then unwrap baby remove nappy lift baby in then (as I'm quite wobbly on my legs) I put baby back in chair rewrap whilst I get out. Makes bath time a breeze.

My little one is just over a month old and both her dad and I get in the bath with her at least once a week each, it's fantastic bonding time as it is relaxing and she gets the calmest look on her little face. It's the highlight of my day and so I totally get why anyon would do it, if it makes you happ then carry right on.

Yanbu. Dh and I still bath with our children (6 and almost 4) and will continue to do so for a few more years I should imagine. They are our children, there is nothing untoward going on! It is entirely their choice, they can decide when they don't want to.

dh worked abroad when the dc were small and the highlight of the day sometimes was abubble bath in the afternoon with them.

Yanbu

weird for you and you baby to be naked together? she realises that you grow him inside you and the squeezed him out of your vagina, right?

I'd love to have a bath with my two-month-old but isn't a baby's bath too tepid to be enjoyable?

I think the most worrying thing is that the woman who said this does have her own children - I wonder what her relationship with them is like (not because she doesn't bathe with them, but because she thinks it wrong for a tiny baby to see her naked)

How does one even breastfeed without the baby seeing them half-naked? Blindfold on baby?

I love having a bath with ds. I even used to bf him in bath.
Ignore her you are doing a great job. All that skin to skin contact is a wonderful bonding experience

Baths are sacred. I would be bloody furious if I couldn't have one without a child inviting themselves to join me. You lot are weird.

Being charitable to your cousin, I might worry about the risk of falling asleep in the bath if one were very sleep deprived.

As for inappropriateness, what a load of nonsense. Bathing suit

DD (2.3) has a shower with DH most mornings and often wants to come in the bath with me in the evenings too. It's lovely and your cousin is very weird for suggesting it's anything other than lovely!

I still can't have a bath without 4yo DD barging in and stripping off to hop in for a cuddle! Make the most of it while you can, it's a lovely thing to be able to do and really does help bond.