...about bathing my new baby?

[scantilymad]

Hi
I'm a long term lurker but this is my first post.
I am married with one four month old baby. Our baby has silent reflux, a tongue and lip tie that made breastfeeding difficult and I was diagnosed with PND eight weeks after the birth (a score of 19 which according to the HV is pretty high). Anyway, after battling through that little lot, we finally felt like we are getting in to some sort of structure and settling as a family.
My cousin came to visit last night and we shared a bottle of wine and were chatting generally about babies. I mentioned that I sometimes get in the bath with my baby boy in the evening on the days when I remember I haven't had time to bathe or shower for a couple of days and am feeling generally a bit grim. DH never gets home before 8pm so bath, bottle bed are down to me on weekdays.
My cousin looked genuinely shocked when I told her this and asked if I wore a bathing suit when I got in the bath? When I said no, as the point of a bath is to, you know, get clean, she implied it was very weird for me and my son to be naked in the bath together. She also thinks I'm putting him in danger in case I slip and drop him when I'm getting out or that he will drown because the adult bath is too deep. I don't wash my hair or shave or anything in his bath, just sit in it with him.
Sorry this is so long but I genuinely don't know now if I'm doing something inappropriate or dangerous? Am I? Being diagnosed with PND was a massive knock to my confidence and really makes me doubt my instincts/decisions.
Thank you

There is absolutely nothing wrong with bathing with your baby - they love to be able to feel your skin, and your breath, and your heartbeat - I'm sure that these things are actually good for them, psychologically speaking. Ignore your cousin and enjoy your special time with your son.

Your cousin is odd, not you. I love bathing with my kids - 10 months and 4.5 years. Bathtime is great fun. Enjoy your little one

Your cousin is weird! I guess she doesn't have kids?
I look forward to Sunday mornings, I have a bath with my daughter, we always have ever since she was about three weeks old, she is four now.
It is great bonding, a great comfort for both of you
Enjoy, it is one of the great pleasures of parenthood

Your cousin has 'ishoos'. Bathing with a baby = bonding time. It's lovely. I did it all the time.

(though with a fully bf newborn it's 'code mustard' that you have to worry about, and it will need a shower if it happens.

What an odd thing for your cousin to say. Of course it's not inappropriate for a baby and his/her mother to be naked together!

I don't do it myself as he is just too wriggly. But I do strap him in his bouncy chair while I shower in full view - not with a bathing suit on I might add

What a ridiculous suggestion. She is placing a sexualised view that a baby couldn't possibly have. I regularly bath with my 2 year old ds and 6 months old ds. Never even considered it.

My friends dd was watching me bath ds2 (mid day poo explosion) and announced that he is a baby and has a little willy. Her daddy is a big boy so he has a very big willy. Awkwardly funnily, but adorably innocent.

I always bathed with dc1. DH was in the military and was away a lot during her first year, so it was just a routine we got into. With dc2, I bathed with both dc most nights. Again, just a habit that started. I didn't bath with dc3 so much as there wasn't much room in the bath by now, but when I could, I did. There is nothing wrong with bathing with your children. Dc1 is 7 and has out grown it, but dc2 and 3 still ask occasionally for us to get in with them.

I'm sure you have thought about the safety aspect and have a routine going for getting out. (Keeping towels handy etc). I can't remember how I managed this but I must have sorted it somehow. Keep bathing with your baby. It's a great bonding time.
It is so true, that they grow up so quickly, treasure those lovely splashy baths. In a few years time you won't be able to get a bath as they will be spending so long in the shower (dc1, I dread to think how much more time she will spend in the shower when she is a teenager, it's long enough now!)

Hey we all get pooped on lol!
Empty the water out and start again, can you tell I've been there... Several times lol

Your cousin has issues. I bath with my three year old ds as does DP. I bf ds2 (10 weeks) I wonder if your cousin would think I should do it in a separate room to ds1 or under a blanket so he doesn't see a flash of my boob?

You're doing a great job and sound like a lovely caring mum. Enjoy your baby and stuff anyone else's opinion.

@ code mustard.

Op, I used to have a bath chair/net thing from mothercare. Would sit ds in it while I stepped in and stepped out of the bath.

As mum to another 4 month old, I can safely tell you that your cousin is an idiot.

I've had baths with mine from a few days old and will carry on until they kick me out. And I even have a candle on sometimes too, tell that to your cousin! You're following your instincts and your instincts are right, ho lovely for your baby.

Friend is ridiculous. He was inside you Ffs. That's the most naked a person can see you.

And I do the same as you but shower in my case

Isn't bathing a baby easiest by climbing in with them? Anyone who does anything else sounds like they're making work to me.

it's actually a lot less hassle than a baby bath. am i missing something with those or are they just completely bloody pointless?

I didn't BF and I bathed with both my babies, I would do it now but at 5 and 9 they don't want to !!

I almost always bathed with my babies the way you describe, DS (age 4)would still bath with me now given half a chance!
It is perfectly fine to do. In fact it was something my HV suggested when DD was born as a way for DH and DD to have some bonding time (and for me to have a nice nap whilst they bonded).

As for the whole wearing a swimsuit thing... I don't understand where she got that idea from . I think she may have ishoos.

Keep up the lovely bonding with your little one.

You are great mum and keep doing what you doing,your cousin is bonkers.
I have 3 kids and I was bathing with them whenever I could.xx

My husband and I take it in turns to bath with our 2 year-old daughter. It's totally natural! We'll stop when she decides.

As the majority of these posts say, YANBU!! I have a bath with my 16m dd weekly, I love it and so does she. It's lovely bonding thing and we've done it since she was born (which was in a big bath!) Just use a bath mat so you don't slip and keep towels near by.
Tell your cousin - they are odd for suggesting it is wrong. And well done for being open about your PND, good luck being a mummy! X

Our bathroom is tiny, it's much easier to get in the bath with a baby than twist round and kick the sink.

Also there is a tall cupboard by the shower end of the bath. It's way easier to shower with a toddler than flood the bathroom reaching round it.

I still get in the bath with ds who is 7. I'll stop when he's bothered by my nakedness. Sadly that probably won't be long

I never really understood baby baths either. Another waste of money. Though I grew up in a household where sharing baths was the norm.