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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DM is a nasty selfish horrible cow

81 replies

Edenviolet · 09/01/2014 19:55

Dsis was expecting a parcel today but had to go to an appointment, as the dcs go to school nearby to dsis and DMs house she asked would I wait in for it which was fine as I had nothing else to do and dsis had done me a favour recently so it was only fair to repay it.

DM goes to work so I was there with dd and ds. I was starving so made a cup of tea and noticed the Xmas cake in the kitchen under a tea towel. I cut a tiny bit literally 2x3 inches so only a little bit to have with my tea. I know dsis detests fruit cake but DM likes it. There was a big chunk left.

DM got back at lunchtime and went MENTAL. How dare I touch her cake, how dare I eat anything, that she had hidden it. I did point out that it had a tea towel half over it not a cloak of invisibility so it wasn't that well hidden which made her really mad.
Then I asked her why it was so dreadful that I, her daughter had eaten a tiny bit of her Xmas cake? She told me I had no right to it that it was her treat and that I was selfish????

She then opened the cupboard and got out a tin of roses, quality street, sweets and biscuits all obviously from Xmas and threw them in the bin saying nothing was sacred and that she expects we ate all our Xmas stuff over Xmas and now wanted to take hers???

I just left, she's mad isn't she?

OP posts:
AwfulMaureen · 09/01/2014 19:57

Could she be menopausal?

Cascumpec · 09/01/2014 19:58

She's a fruitcake.

phantomnamechanger · 09/01/2014 20:00

some people are odd

If she has not got form for this sort of oddness, do you think there is something wrong ie is this very out of character, or par for the course (in which case you should not have touched the cake!)

a sudden change of personality and behaving like that would be a worry to me, TBH

how did you handle this?

justmuddlingalong · 09/01/2014 20:01

She wants to have her cake and eat it!

bochead · 09/01/2014 20:02

If that was my Mum I'd not be calling her names, but frog marching her to the GP's asap while smiling sweetly. I'd also remind her that I love her, lots.

ohfourfoxache · 09/01/2014 20:04

Wow. Er, yep, she's more than a bit precious.

You're still her child fgs (older obviously) - surely that whole nurturing/looking after feeling should never leave you no matter how old your kids are?

loveliesbleeding1 · 09/01/2014 20:05

Is this the first

loveliesbleeding1 · 09/01/2014 20:06

Time dm has acted this way?

Original poster
Edenviolet · 09/01/2014 20:07

She's always been like this Sad

When we were children the biscuits were counted and sweets put in the cupboard with a squeaky door so we couldn't take any. She always had to know everything and if she heard us go in the kitchen or saw us chewing ( even as adults) it was constantly " what are you eating".

If my phone ever rang she had to know who it was and what they wanted, if a letter came she had to know what it was etc etc etc.

It was such a tiny bit of cake and her reaction was over the top. She begrudges me even a tiny bit of Christmas cake Sad

OP posts:
IamGluezilla · 09/01/2014 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picnicbasketcase · 09/01/2014 20:08

She threw away a load of perfectly good food rather than risk anyone else eating any? Fucking barmy.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 09/01/2014 20:08

I just went home, I felt quite annoyed. She's not short of money so its not as if its anything like that she was just being mean.

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 09/01/2014 20:10

She has been through the menopause and no longer has hot flushes etc but does not have hrt ( I don't know much about menopause so maybe it is still that?) doubtful I think as she's always been like this!

OP posts:
Hissy · 09/01/2014 20:11

Mean, controlling, nasty and horrible.

Try not to stay too close to her and don't let dc alone with her.

Seriously.

She won't change.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 09/01/2014 20:12

If it had been obvious that it was hidden away I might have thought twice but it was in the middle of the counter half covered with the tea towel.

Dd has diabetes and has sometimes seen cake/sweets etc and asked so. I thought maybe DM or dsis had just quickly covered it to avoid dd seeing it and asking but obviously it was me DM was hiding it from.

OP posts:
MsAspreyDiamonds · 09/01/2014 20:12

Take out the chocs from the bin & donate them to the foodbank to wind her up. Smile

Book to have her assessed by a therapist locked away in a padded cell if she is getting territorial over a fruit cake. What is she going to do when it comes to writing her will?

justmuddlingalong · 09/01/2014 20:13

Give her one of these Biscuit and let her get on with it. If she's always been like this, you have my sympathy.

LondonMother · 09/01/2014 20:13

I don't know how old you all are, but going through the menopause does not usually make women behave as irrationally as the OP's mum!

DoYouNeedAWahhmbulance · 09/01/2014 20:14

Tell her she can shove her fruitcake

It must be awful for you though Sad

jacks365 · 09/01/2014 20:14

Hedgehog are you my dsis cos this sounds like my dm. I never help myself to anything in her house and I keep my phone on silent so she doesn't know when I get a message.

phantomnamechanger · 09/01/2014 20:14

well, she obviously has some sort of MH issues and if I knew she was like that I honestly would not have helped myself to the cake.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 09/01/2014 20:14

Dsis parcel came but I've told her its the last time ill be waiting in!

Dsis is moving out soon as DM has turned on her recently as she has a bf and is angry with dsis for 'discarding' her and said that for years she was 'useful'to dsis and that dsis is ungrateful for wanting to leave!

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 09/01/2014 20:14

Buy a Christmas cake and give her ,her sliver back.Grin

Original poster
Edenviolet · 09/01/2014 20:16

I. Had no idea the cake was such a big deal to her, it was a massive one and just for DM and I had the tiniest bit, I wouldn't have had loads or finished it all. I can never imagine doing this to my own dcs.

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 09/01/2014 20:17

'Sacred' and 'her treat' - a whole cake? I can't actually get over how anyone can be so weird and possessive over something that is so obviously meant for sharing. If she had one doughnut that she'd bought as a little treat just for her, and you ate that, I could understand her being a bit irked. But this is just utterly bizarre behaviour.

I think I agree with the poster who said to stay away from her.

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