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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I can't ever imagine returning to work. And I'm quite happy with that

389 replies

Anyfuckerisnotguilty · 09/01/2014 14:43

Although I realise that makes me seem quite odd to others

But I actually really like not working and just being able to do whatever I want

OP posts:

akachan · 09/01/2014 19:55

It's hardly a controversial view is it? How many people would work if they won the lottery. I actually really love my job but it's still a huge bar to me doing what I want on a daily basis. If I could I'd do a bit of charity work, study and potter about. Bliss!

NatashaBee · 09/01/2014 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 09/01/2014 19:57

I love the novitey of the idea, but I wouldn't have a clue what to do with my time.

umiaisha · 09/01/2014 20:01

Me too!

I gave up a managerial position a year and a half ago to be at home with the kids. Love my life now and fill my days doing things I actually want to do. Hopefully I will never have to work again.

DS is starting nursery in a couple of weeks and I am looking forward to doing some voluntary work and maybe another dressmaking course.

MissBeehiving · 09/01/2014 20:03

I like working - I enjoy the challenge, the independence, the money and the professional development.

However I can see the attraction of pottering around at home

Mintyy · 09/01/2014 20:05

Depends how long you've been doing it. I quite liked being sahm for the first 5 years. I wouldn't have wanted that to be the end of my working life, though.

Viviennemary · 09/01/2014 20:06

That's fine if it suits you. And you are lucky to have the choice. A lot of people don't.

umiaisha · 09/01/2014 20:08

Natashabee - he is happy with the arrangement. Probably because everything is a lot calmer now I am at home full time and he can get on with his very stressful job without having to get involved with school runs, pick ups etc which he had to do when I was working too.

Fortunately he earns a good wage and as we were previously losing most of my earnings to childcare it was a no-brainer for me to stay at home, especially as I hated my job anyway.

Fairylea · 09/01/2014 20:09

I hate the way these threads always seem to attract people saying you might get divorced / your partner might die / how unfair it is to rely on one salary blah blah.

Yes. It all might collapse into a heap for some people. Maybe. But surely no one goes through life doing things just incase the worst happens?! Life is for living. If someone wants to stay home and their partner is happy to support them so what?! Why does the world and it's audience seem to feel the need to lecture them on it?

For what it's worth I have been divorced and left in terrible financial trouble - and this was when we were both working in senior positions, just he was crap with money. So I know how shit things can be. And yes I am lucky in that due to a previously high income I am now in a position to be able to buy a house outright should dh and I ever split up (due to equity in the house in my name) but I still wouldn't return to work if this wasn't the case just because dh "might" have a mid life crisis and fuck off or whatever else.

What's the point in living such a miserable life, just always expecting the worst?

I enjoy not working. If I have to return to work in the future because dh loses his job or whatever then I will but not because I feel a social sense of duty to work.

I have worked my whole life dealing with stressful people and working to deadlines and I'd rather sacrifice a nice pension pot and enjoy my time now doing what I like.. which is not working.

MrsAMerrick · 09/01/2014 20:13

Can't imagine not working and being totally reliant on dh for finances. A good friend gave up her very well paid/qualified career to be a SAHM, whilst her dh had great job. Her DC have just finished school (one at uni, one on gap year) and her dh has decided that "marriage is not for him" although apparently moving in with a younger woman is....

If people can afford to SAH, and if over the course of their lives they pay the equivalent of 35 years of tax and insurance, then I haven't got a problem with it. I do have a problem with people (usually women) saying that they don't need to contribute and then claiming state pension, using NHS etc - all of which have been funded NOT by their dh alone but by all of us who pay tax. I think unless you've got caring responsibilities then you need to work in some capacity for the majority of your working-age life. I realise that probably makes me sound like a Daily Mail reader, but that's my view waits to get flamed.

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 09/01/2014 20:13

I used to feel like that.

Then DH started to feel like that too so he quit his job.

So we are now living on our savings and I work part time and still do everything in home/kids, DH studies.

Unless you have a partner who is in a recession proof job that he loves OR you have a couple of million in the bank, things can change. But I guess you are pretty secure! Lucky you, enjoy it!

Ragwort · 09/01/2014 20:14

Fairylea - I could have written your post (and probably did ) a few months ago, but when you find you really are struggling financially it does hit you that perhaps your years out of the workforce have been a bit of a luxury. If I won the lottery tomorrow I would not be considering having to look for a job - I absolutely love not working, I have loads of interests/hobbies/voluntary work etc etc etc. and certainly don't feel a sense of 'social duty' in that I have to work to be fulfilled or any of that crap - I just want to pay the bills .

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 09/01/2014 20:14

Mrs Amerivk, you sound more like a communist than a Mail reader!

bigkidsdidit · 09/01/2014 20:15

But fairylea you will potentially have 30 years of utter poverty as a pensioner. That is such a risk, I just can't bear to take it!

Still, horses for courses. I think we are both happy :)

HappyMummyOfOne · 09/01/2014 20:17

Good for you OP as presumably you are financing this no job lark yourself.

However, if you are relying on another adult to fund it then its a horribly selfish attitude to have and i pity the person that has such a selfish partner.

JapaneseMargaret · 09/01/2014 20:21

Threads where the OP drops a controversial (within the context of MN) topic and then doesn't participate in the conversation are so tedious.

Fairylea · 09/01/2014 20:22

Ragwort :) ... I totally understand not working for a while does really fuck up your cv should financial necessity to work ever arise. I am fully prepared to admit that being at home is a luxury :) - and I'm not one of those people who tries to justify being at home by saying I do 48574884 activities and 67 hours of housework a week - I don't and dh knows I don't and that's fine, we just like the fact I have more time to do things at home and we have no childcare issues at all. So it works for us.

But it's never too late to go back to work if people want to .. my mum is 63 and went back to work full time after not working for 20 years due to ill health and being on dla for severe crohns disease (for which she had surgery and it's cleared up well enough to work again).

I've always had a good work ethic... I come from a family of chief executives and managers (except my mum's illness got in the way for her). I just don't enjoy working, I don't like being around people all day. I enjoy being at home and it's not about spending money - I manage very frugally now and dh and I share all money together.

Jengnr · 09/01/2014 20:23

I would love it. Have loved the last year......back in two weeks. Gutted.

wobblyweebles · 09/01/2014 20:23

I like knowing that I'm saving for my future and that one day I'll retire on a solid pension that I've saved up myself, without expecting anyone else to work to support me.

For now that means I work.

gamerchick · 09/01/2014 20:24

Japanese.. I've noticed of late there's a few heads designed to poke the wasp nest.

It's like we're all an experiment atm.

gamerchick · 09/01/2014 20:25

*threads

JapaneseMargaret · 09/01/2014 20:28

Yep.

McFox · 09/01/2014 20:34

I would hate not to work! I love working hard, bring pushed to learn new things, being creative and making decisions. I'm actually dreading maternity leave a bit because I love working so much!

Also, I couldn't bear to be supported by someone else. Never done it before and I never intend to if I can help it.

ihategeorgeosborne · 09/01/2014 20:34

I am currently a SAHM with 3dc. I have really enjoyed it most of the time. Although I do miss the recognition / acknowledgement I used to get from work. However, I had a very stressful job and both me and dh were away a lot with work. This just didn't fit with dc. It does make life much easier, as I do all the school runs, after school clubs, play dates, etc and dh concentrates on work. Our youngest dc starts school next year and I am starting to think about what I could do for paid employment then. We are thinking about buying a house this year and it will be a huge commitment for us. I am sure I will have to return to work then, particularly when interest rates go up.

StealthPolarBear · 09/01/2014 20:37

I love my job. I love seeing the children more in the holidaysand I also like holidays because they don't involve the get up, out of the hosue, back, what's for tea routine, but I genuinely rarely need a break from my actual job.

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