I can't ever imagine returning to work. And I'm quite happy with that

[Anyfuckerisnotguilty]

Although I realise that makes me seem quite odd to others

But I actually really like not working and just being able to do whatever I want

fiscal I am definitely NOT a Daily Mail reader . Not a communist either but would rather be thought of as too left wing than too right!

japaneseM I suspect that these sorts of posts are attempts by journos to provoke a reaction which they can then write up in their rags. But maybe I'm being too cynical. Can't stand it when the OP doesn't engage though.

YANBU
I retired 5 years ago at age 50. Was in Civil Service for 34 years so get decent pension roughly the same amount that my self employed DH takes as Drawings, so our income is still 50/50.

I have to say that I have never, for one second, missed work. I actually wake up every morning far earlier than I did when I was working, and get up straight away!

Tis lovely to think "what shall I do today" and just have time to be.

My DH on the other hand, is quite the opposite. He only takes one day off a week and is bored by mid morning. I doubt he will ever retire.

"Lilicat1013 Thu 09-Jan-14 19:00:33

I sometimes feel like this. I don't work because I am a carer for my son"

I don't know what your son's needs are but I bet you work damn hard.
(I know it's not really the context of the thread but it needed saying :))

I just asked DP, if we could afford to live off his wage (we can't) would he resent me staying at home while he keeps me. He said no provided that I take care of the house and child 50's housewife stylee which is fair enough if I wasn't earning.
He did also say though if he was on a mega wage and could afford it he wouldn't mind if I stayed off and also had a cleaner
Pipe dreams sadly. In an ideal world we would both be able to equally enjoy bringing up our baby but his job is all or nothing, whereas I will be able to work part time. To be fair I'm the higher earner so if one of us were to stop working or go part time it would make more financial sense for it to be him. But that's not going to happen

What happymummyofone said.
Presumably you have made a mint in an earlier working life, or you've inherited enough to live on forever, or you've won the lottery. In which case its perfectly reasonable to decide not to work (though if it were me I would make damn sure I was spending my time doing interesting things.)

If you haven't secured your financial future, then it's irresponsible. If you are relying on another adult to fund your decision to not work, then again, that's totally ok if the other adult is happy to do so, though I think many of us would find it weird to partner someone who would expect to never work again.

I guess a lot depends on whether you have a worthwhile and fulfilling job. I suspect many people do, tend to partner someone in a similar position, so it would be weird for one to work and the other to never work again. If you have a job that isn't interesting and is just about paying the bills, then likewise, the chances are your partner is probably in something comparable, so it makes sense to share the financial responsibilities.

It is very naive to assume, Fairylea, that there won't be a change in peoples circumstances. We can't go through life with rose tinted specs and, Im afraid, that giving up on work completely is a rather juvenile attitude to take.

I could happily never work again - I do rather think of my fast approaching old age though. Plenty of time then to be money poor and time rich

Dairylea - I hate the way these threads always seem to attract people saying you might get divorced / your partner might die / how unfair it is to rely on one salary blah blah.

Yes, but the reality is that these things could and do happen, and frequently. I think it's incredibly risky for an individual to rely on another individual supporting them financially

Indeed - there is at least one thread per day on here with someone in that situation. It is tragic.

Agree with fairy lea. I worked FT in a stressful.job for 20 years whilst my DH was the SAHP/worked PT. Now we have swapped and I do everything at home and he works FT.. I love it. I'd like to do something PT in a year or so but I hope I won't have to work FT again.

I've built up a reasonable pension and we live frugally. I'd rather live for now and have some time before my DCs leave home, rather than getting to 67 to enjoy life.

It depends what you mean by 'work', OP. Looking after small children is work - if you weren't doing it, someone else would have to, and if that someone else wasn't a family member, payment would be involved. Some activities which are very enjoyable and easy to do earn the person doing them a salary so they are described as work, while other activities are tedious, repetitive, difficult and exhausting to do, such as caring for a helpless individual, and these may not earn a salary - does that mean they are not work?

Yes, caring for your own small children can be fun, rewarding, exciting, heartwarming, uplifting, but not all the time. Really, honestly, very few people feel ecstatic over wiping the tenth shitty arse of the day, or scrubbing mashed weetabix off the kitchen table yet again.

And if you don't have a paid job because you have a high-earning partner but your children are school-age or older, how much of the domestic stuff is your job? And do you ever feel (or get told by your partner) that sex is something you should always approach with enthusiasm when he wants to engage in it, because after all he's paying for your food/shelter/clothing?

How long have you not worked? You may change your mind.

Hear hear SGB - for every MNetter that does this successfully - and there are some - there are 10 or more complaining about the family division of household work and/or money. And probably another 10 who want to leave but can't afford to/he won't leave etc.

YANBU. I have been a SAHM for 15 years and loved every minute. I have 5 DC and have been studying with OU the last 5 years and other studying before that. All DC are at school now and I love it and never get bored as always have studying to do. I am not sure what to do after my degree but aim to volunteer first and have chosen a potential career that would fit with the DC when the time is right. Agree with SGB that a lot of caring for DC is work. My DH may earn the money but I do shedloads of house, kids and organising so we even out. Husband's hours are a nightmare and his stressed is eased with me being here all the time.

It is a risk though but to me the main thing I want in life is time with DC.

What solidgoldbrass said. Just this once.

What I want out of life is to do my hobby. I wasn't prepared to wait forever. I got myself into the position where I don't have to work much. This situation may not last for ever, but I'll take what I can.
Only one life...

Ragwort, I know you asked this of another poster but as I'm in the same position I'll chuck in my two penn'orth. I love love love my job, I'm self-employed and can largely fit it in around my DS, it pays quite well (as long as the work comes in!) and I just love doing it. I would continue to work if I won the lottery, I can't imagine retiring, I will probably have to slow down later on but I would hope to keep on into my 70s, at least on a part-time basis.

My sister, on the other hand, gave up work in her early 50s because she fucking hated it. She was an accountant and had always been the main breadwinner, but she and her DH worked out that now the kids were more or less off their hands, they could afford for her to take voluntary redundancy (no payout). They've had to tighten their belts, but the trade-off has been entirely worth it- she's so much happier and never wants to work again. So horses for courses, innit, indeed.

My DH comes from a culture where it is normal for women not to work outside the home, so I have always had that option.

However, personally I need to work for my own sanity/self esteem.
Also I have no intention of ever finding myself unemployable should anything happen to DH - and I want my daughters to follow this example.
I have read enough threads on here to know that depending on any other person for your upkeep is not wise.

I'm a sahm with 2 ds.. Will be looking for work soon..which I'm dreading..so can totally see your point of view OP. Having time to do random things around the house is great..when I have worked, I just feel that I'm spreading myself too thinly(so to speak)

Fairylea - I hope it is never too late to return to work, I will let you know how I get on as I am applying for what sounds like a great job at the moment - using all the skills I have done as a volunteer over the years. I am in my mid 50s so I just hope my age isn't against me .

I can't imagine not working, but I am fortunate to be paid to do something I love. We could (and have, in the past) live off DH's salary, but I am not a natural housewife or SAHM (not full time at least). If I won the lottery I would probably return to part-time working or at least do a lot more voluntary work, I know I could do with more time to devote to my Beaver Scouts!

Why hasn't the OP been back to answer any of the questions about how she supports her lifestyle?

Divorce is one thing but if DH died, that wouldn't make things difficult financially;in fact we'd be very well off. I would think it's the same for most couples. Not that I could contemplate the emotional side of something so awful but certainly, financially, I wouldn't be stuck because I've been a sahm.

The OP hasn't been back because this thread is probably one of the slew that have been posted to provoke a reaction. Like MN is part of some experiment.

Worriedthistime, I think you're the exception. Most families do not have adequate provision if one partner dies, either because they can't afford it or they haven't organised anything. We have some, but it certainly wouldn't make us wealthy.

And of course you're relying on an insurer to actually pay out.