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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't ever imagine returning to work. And I'm quite happy with that

389 replies

Anyfuckerisnotguilty · 09/01/2014 14:43

Although I realise that makes me seem quite odd to others

But I actually really like not working and just being able to do whatever I want

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/01/2014 18:01

I guess it depends on whether you have a fulfilling job/profession or not. I can't imagine not using the skills I have worked so hard for so many years to acquire. I work 2.5 days a week (with no penalty to pro rata pay/status) and it suits me just fine.

JapaneseMargaret · 09/01/2014 18:05

Everyone likes to be able to do whatever they want in life! I certainly do. But, like most adults with children, I have responsibilities.

Most men don't have that choice. They have to work, unless they're part of that minuscule percentage who are independently wealthy. LOL at me being all 'what about the menz'. Grin

annieorangutan · 09/01/2014 18:10

I could never not work as all I would do is watch back to back jk and go down wetherspoons for lunch. I have to work else I would live like a tramp Grin

jinxed13 · 09/01/2014 18:14

Lucky you.
As long as your funding yourself then great.

Are you ?

daisychain01 · 09/01/2014 18:15

anyf whether you are or are not on benefits, you have a right to share your thoughts and opinions about working/not working Smile.

I think your point is that you don't feeling any big pull, or urge to work and that is fine. Some people feel that work defines them, very much their reason for getting up in the morning. Other people have no such need, they are happy being at home with DCs for eg.and that is great too. Isn't there a saying about looking back on your life, you'll never regret that you didn't spend more time in the office.

I have been off work since Christmas Eve and will go back to work on Monday so this past three weeks puts me in a position where it 'feels' like I haven't worked for aaages. It has been really lovely, pottering around at home, all my washing is up to date for the first time in a year (!) going shopping, chatting to my mum without having to watch the time, being on MN a bit too much

So, Monday will be a reality check having to get up at the crack of sparrow's fart and trudging into the office. But I am fortunate enough to enjoy my job, the people are lovely, I have never felt I cant stand being here. But I have been in jobs where I have hated every minute. I can identify with people whose experience of paid employment has largely been negative, it wont be a very appealing thought to return to work.

The 'rub' is of course around choice ! For some people there is no other option than to work, even if it means soul destroying work.

Enjoy life any way you can, its all there is!

NewtRipley · 09/01/2014 18:18

I felt like this for quite a while, I think in some ways the family as a unit was happier because I never experienced stress. However I did experience boredom. I was SAHM for 10 years 9some of those doing voluntary work)

But I think it leaves you potentially vulnerable, financially and emotionally in the event of death, DHs illness or redundancy, or divorce.

You can always return to work if you have to, but it may be harder than you expect - depending what you are like. If you are like me, years out of the workforce resulted in a real dip in confidence.

NewtRipley · 09/01/2014 18:20

... and yes, my DHs is happier because he feels there is less pressure on him.

likeit · 09/01/2014 18:20

Good for you?!

Chottie · 09/01/2014 18:30

I loved being at home too. I've been at SATM in the past and am now working full time. I look back on my SATM days with nostalgia when I drag myself out of bed at 6.00am every morning.......

Enjoy every moment and savour your freedom :)

Chunderella · 09/01/2014 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bodypopper · 09/01/2014 18:38

Done both and now work part time so feel heat of both.

Good luck to you op it's lovely being at home.

FloozeyLoozey · 09/01/2014 18:41

Each to their own but I would feel anxious and insecure if I didn't have my own income and had to rely on another person. Too much dependency for me.

AndHarry · 09/01/2014 18:44

I was thinking about this the other day. I like working and go a bit nuts when I'm off for any extended period of time (maternity leave ).

fedup21 · 09/01/2014 18:51

Bully for you. Is your husband bank-rolling your life forever? It would worry me that I'd be stuffed financially if he left me!

I'm sure lots of people would love to never work again as work, by it's very nature, isn't always fun!...but someone has to, in order to pay the bills. If I were the working person and my partner posted your post, I would become very resentful.

superstarheartbreaker · 09/01/2014 18:56

Gosh...all these lucky women who don't need to work! And yes, I am jealous!

Lilicat1013 · 09/01/2014 19:00

I sometimes feel like this. I don't work because I am a carer for my son. This is not optional either myself or my husband needs to be a stay at home parent and that person is me at the moment.

He starts school this year, likely part time and it got me thinking in a few years he will be in school full time and the little one will be in school.

Child care still wouldn't be an option for my eldest I don't think anywhere would be able to take him but during school hours I would be able to work so I should work.

It has just my last job was such hell it destroyed every big of confidence I had and a medical condition has meant I can go back to the area i always worked in and enjoyed working in.

I have to start all over again which is terrifying. I think I will probably take it slowly and start some courses as soon as the youngest gets his fifteen free hours and hopefully train to do something new.

If I was independently wealthy and work was a choice I would probably do loads of college courses or get a part time job. I would love to be able to do whatever I want and have complete freedom. At the moment although I don't work my day is decided by my children's needs, their activities and their appointments. I couldn't just decide to go to the cinema or the gym or something.

Anyway, if you are happy with your life enjoy it. I would suggest ensuring you are adequately prepared for the future in case your situation changes but aside from that enjoy your freedom!

foslady · 09/01/2014 19:06

Hope your relationship is a very strong one.......I thank God I was working (albeit p/t) when my marriage collapsed.......

peevishcleavage · 09/01/2014 19:19

Who's supporting you op?

bigkidsdidit · 09/01/2014 19:24

I'm glad you can do what you want.

I will always work, always. My mum was at home for 10 years with us and my dad left. She had nothing, no pension, no savings in her name. It has made me absolutely determined that I will have my own pension.

Make sure your pension is sorted op :)

Eminybob · 09/01/2014 19:24

I am immensely looking forward to maternity leave and would love the option to not have to go back but it just isn't an option financially for us. I do hope to take the full year though.

I've not had a break from work in my adult life (except annual leave) so am exhausted and so ready for it, but I may feel completely differently once I have been off for a while. I can't see myself going back to my current job though it's far too stressful. I find it difficult to switch off after work so can't imagine having to come home to take care of a child after a day at work.

GlitzAndGiggles · 09/01/2014 19:37

I work part time but due to my hours I'm still pretty much free to do as I like after. If it was financially possible for me to never work again I'd love that but I can't see that happening. I like having my own money too

Potus · 09/01/2014 19:45

I do wonder how women who feel its ok to sahm for years and years, were brought up. I mean, all the women in my family have always worked, whether through necessity or choice. My husband could easily support us but it wouldn't occur to me not to work.

What happened in the last say 20 years that women my age (late 30s) are happy to just sit back and let someone else take the financial slack? I must admit i do find it odd although as someone said upthread, horses fir courses. Can't all be down to childcare too expensive. Not when some women (and it is usually the woman) never go back to work at all after having children, even when they've left home.

Oblomov · 09/01/2014 19:49

I like working. I can't imagine not working. 3 days work each week, works perfectly for me.

Ragwort · 09/01/2014 19:52

I have really enjoyed not working for the last 10 years - I had a fab career in my 20s & 30s, we've paid off our mortgage, had a child in my 40s so it has been great to not have to work for someone else, my DH was very happy that I was a SAHM (he was self employed - did not have to work 100s of hours a week to 'finance' my lifestyle choice). I have done loads of different voluntary roles to use my skills & experience however circumstances have changed considerably and now I really need to find paid employment - not so easy in your mid 50s Sad.

Unless you are 100% sure that you can financially afford never to work again it is a dangerous route.

Ragwort · 09/01/2014 19:53

Oblomov - genuine question, if you 'can't imagine not working' - do you ever intend to retire? How will you cope with that?

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