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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH how to spend HIS money

129 replies

AhoyMcCoy · 08/01/2014 21:04

All money is shared. Goes into one account, bills etc paid, and then we both get an amount (approx £20 per week) to spend on whatever we like for ourselves. It's totally unaccountable- I don't question his spends and he doesn't question mine (nail polish, magazines & kindle books if you must know!)

HOWEVER. He used £10 of his weekly spends on gambling bet from some guy he follows on twitter. This guy is one of those professional gamblers who tells you how to turn your £10 into £1000 within a week.

DH has got £500 so far. Tomorrow is the final bet, where you turn your £500 into £1000. I'm BEGGING with him to stop here- £500 is money we could do with desperately, we'd love a holiday etc- it would be so nice to have a chunk of money we could be frivolous with together. I can't believe anyone could gamble £500?! But he is insistent it's his £10, and I have no say in it, and he can do what he likes with it.

If he wins the £1000, he's said it's shared and we will book a holiday, but I still don't want to risk the £500!!

So- MN Jury, AIBU?!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 08/01/2014 21:06

Yabu - it's his £10

Though I can see your point obviously

Stop spending your money on frivolities like nail varnish when you could be gambling it Wink

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 08/01/2014 21:06

My immediate reaction is that is a scam, and he is guaranteed to lose it.

But it's your DH's decision ultimately.

SPsFifthConyoIsTheBestConyo · 08/01/2014 21:07

You can suggest but you cant TELL him

LaurieFairyCake · 08/01/2014 21:07

If you really want the money try asking him what he would want if you'd bought a lottery ticket and won

He won't be able to keep a straight face.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 08/01/2014 21:07

Ps - you are not desperate for money if you want to spend it on frivolous stuff.

WetDogLovesHubert · 08/01/2014 21:07

YABU. His money, his rules.

Gambling is shit though...

AnnabelleLee · 08/01/2014 21:08

you can ask but you can't tell. Its not your money, he's not someone to be controlled by you.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 08/01/2014 21:09

Oooooh I don't know. I'm with you in the fact that I couldn't and wouldn't be able to gamble that kind of money. I could use it for too much. However it did start out it's life as part of his weekly allowance to do with as he likes so his choice?

I still don't think YABU as I would be the same but not sure you have a leg to stand on here. Fingers crossed for the £1000 and erm... purely out of interest what is this chaps name on twitter Grin

NinjaBunny · 08/01/2014 21:10

It is his money.

It's also very obviously a scam.

But gambling is addictive and he might need 'proper' help.

:(

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 08/01/2014 21:10

Who IS the Twitter guy??

Revengeofkarma · 08/01/2014 21:11

If he hadn't told you about what he spent it on then win or lose you'd be none the wiser. So in effect, it is his tenner and he does what he likes. Of course it isn't an issue while he's winning. But on e he loses (and only the house ever wins) then there will be a problem.

And yeah, I sense scam as well.

MBT1987 · 08/01/2014 21:12

He's done exactly what he wants according to the rule and, as a result, turned his tenner in to £500. Good on him. He could drink/wee it up the wall and you'd be absolutely no worse off (bar his poor hangover!).

If he gambled the first tenner and lost it, you'd say "Tough, but it was your money, so meh", surely? You wouldn't give him another tenner to try again in case he made a holiday out of it!

Having said that, in his shoes, I'd not bother with the final bet. I'd buy a PS4 and a bottle of single malt. Because I'm classy like that.

LadyBeagleEyes · 08/01/2014 21:12

No you can't tell him what do do Op but he'' learn his lesson when he loses the grand.
It sounds like a scam to me, someone is going to get rich but it ain't going to be him.

Casmama · 08/01/2014 21:12

You could always follow the advice the if win£500 you could stop.

It's his money, was an experiment so not indicative of a gambling problem so I don't think you get a say.

WorraLiberty · 08/01/2014 21:12

YABU

If he'd lost the tenner on the first bet, you'd be none the wiser.

And I agree with Unexpected in that you're not 'desperate' for money if you want to spend it on a holiday.

RandyRudolf · 08/01/2014 21:13

You really need to keep us updated on this, I need to know if he wins the big one Smile

TheNightIsDark · 08/01/2014 21:13

Sorry YABU but I see your point.

And I desperately want to know what happens tomorrow.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 08/01/2014 21:13

I presume he is playing matched bets? So the risk of losing it all is low if he is doing it right anyway?

It's his money, so now that you've stated your opinion, I'd leave him to it. Then remember that the next time you win on a scratch card or the lottery, it's your final say on how it's spent!

NatashaBee · 08/01/2014 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notawordfromtheladybird · 08/01/2014 21:16

If he's right and you make him pull out of the final bet, you will get his "I told you so" face for next 20 years every time a similar situation comes up. If he's wrong and he goes through his bet, he will get your "I told you so" face for next 20 years when a similar situation comes up.

galletti · 08/01/2014 21:18

I've read and re-read the OP. Where does she say she's 'desperate' for for money. She says it's money they could do with desperately - for a holiday. Because to her, that's what she feels they could all do with, as not much SPARE money around. All relative isn't it?

Rhubarbgarden · 08/01/2014 21:18

I would be more worried about him winning than losing. If he loses, he may learn a lesson. If he wins, he'll be hooked.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 08/01/2014 21:19

It's not necessarily a scam Hmm
My brother's done this a few times - though he's never had the guts to go past the £500 point (don't blame him.)
I don't think you cant tell him what to do...you could have done the same with your money!

Original poster
AhoyMcCoy · 08/01/2014 21:22

I have no clue who the twitter guy is, except I may be wrong and it may be on Facebook, not twitter. The guy has 30,000 followers, I know that much.DH won't tell me who he is, because he knows I'll find out what tomorrow's bet is and obsess all day, and he will get no enjoyment out of watching the match.

This guy has done three £10-£1K bets over the last month and won two, lost one. DH is genuinely happy to lose his money if that's what happens, he's had a great time up til now, and his dad/brother/BIL/my brother etc are all doing it too, and they all ring each other in excitement all night.

Yes, we don't need the money 'desperately' - apologies for my wording (and third world problem!). BUT I WANT A HOLIDAYYY.

Although if he loses the best tomorrow, the poster above who says I get to go on about it forever is right- I would enjoy that Grin. Maybe not quite as much as £500, but almost!!

OP posts:
UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 08/01/2014 21:23

Meh Galletti, to me that's semantics.

The language OP used - I'm BEGGING with him to stop... £500 is money we could do with desperately - implies they are barely making ends meet, as many people on MN know all too well unfortunately.

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