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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH how to spend HIS money

129 replies

AhoyMcCoy · 08/01/2014 21:04

All money is shared. Goes into one account, bills etc paid, and then we both get an amount (approx £20 per week) to spend on whatever we like for ourselves. It's totally unaccountable- I don't question his spends and he doesn't question mine (nail polish, magazines & kindle books if you must know!)

HOWEVER. He used £10 of his weekly spends on gambling bet from some guy he follows on twitter. This guy is one of those professional gamblers who tells you how to turn your £10 into £1000 within a week.

DH has got £500 so far. Tomorrow is the final bet, where you turn your £500 into £1000. I'm BEGGING with him to stop here- £500 is money we could do with desperately, we'd love a holiday etc- it would be so nice to have a chunk of money we could be frivolous with together. I can't believe anyone could gamble £500?! But he is insistent it's his £10, and I have no say in it, and he can do what he likes with it.

If he wins the £1000, he's said it's shared and we will book a holiday, but I still don't want to risk the £500!!

So- MN Jury, AIBU?!

OP posts:
Hiphopopotamus · 10/01/2014 08:01

For goodness sake. There is absolutely no indication that the OP's DH has it will develop a gambling problem. Yes, some people do and it can be highly addictive. However, you don't see posters warning if the devastating effects of alcoholism every time a MNer mentions opening a bottle if wine!

The guy is having fun with a £10 bet. Let him get in with it. Great if he wins and if he loses he probably won't want to try again.

Good luck OP - hope you get your holiday! Grin

Hiphopopotamus · 10/01/2014 08:03

All my 'if's there should be 'or's Blush

Damn autocorrect.

thenicknameiwantedisgone · 10/01/2014 08:06

So OP, we need an update! Did he win or lose?

TalkativeJim · 10/01/2014 08:07

A cannier person would keep £490 and start the process again with £10...

DontmindifIdo · 10/01/2014 08:08

some people develop gambling problems, the vast bulk of people who gamble small amounts don't. A few quid that can be afforded from 'fun' budgets is hardly automatically going to lead to the OP's DH spending the mortgage payment.

I suppose if you know someone it has happened to you might think it could happen to anyone, without factoring in that being addicted to gambling and unable to only gamble small affordable sums for fun is very very unusual. Just because it could happen doesn't mean it's likely to happen.

(I know two people who have been hit by drunk drivers when they were driving at night, I don't assume this is something that's likely to happen to me if I drive at night, I accept it could, it doesn't mean it's likely to, or I should avoid driving after sunset "just in case".)

DontmindifIdo · 10/01/2014 08:19

BTW OP - it was this mentality- that as soon as you win something that becomes part of your family money, not just when you finish the game - is why for a long time the production team on "Who wants to be a millionaire" didn't think they would ever get a £1m winner, they said that they really thought people wouldn't risk the £500k of their own money to get the £1m. Often you get people checking out earlier on the game because they have shifted from thinking they are still playing the same game and only risking money that isn't theres yet to thinking that's money in their bank they are being asked to risk.

People who think like you will rarely go from the £20k to the £50k question because they feel they are being asked to gamble £19k of their own money. People like your DH don't think of the winnings as theirs until they've finished the game and have been paid, so they would be happier to drop down to £1k because they played a game and ended up £1k better off than when they started, whereas you would be miserable leaving with £1k because you lost £19k of your money.

Neither of you are wrong, so long as you can mentally accept it and the orginal stake is affordable to the family.

pigletmania · 10/01/2014 08:23

Tabu it's his money do do with what he wants, but don't encourage gambling, could turn into an addiction, so keep on top if it.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 10/01/2014 09:43

I can't believe how long you are making us wait. How dare you have a life outside of MN.

Incapinka · 10/01/2014 10:12

Still no update??!!

jacks365 · 10/01/2014 10:14

Has the op gone to pick up holiday brochures?

Not place marking at all

skyeskyeskye · 10/01/2014 10:18

shameless placemarking to see if he wins the bet!

I would not want to gamble £500, but as others have said, it was his £10 to start with. Difficult one.

Mamafratelli · 10/01/2014 10:21

What happened? Did he win?

Floggingmolly · 10/01/2014 10:23

I still don't want to risk the £500.
You're not. It's his to lose, not yours.

TheNightIsDark · 10/01/2014 14:56

He's either won and OP doesn't want to be told I told you so or he lost and she's still telling him I told you so.

justgirl · 10/01/2014 14:58

Waaaa I want to know if he won! I also want to know who the tipper is Blush

Original poster
AhoyMcCoy · 10/01/2014 15:02

UPDATE

The update is... That there isn't much to update! The bet that was tipped ended up being a sort of "void" bet, so he neither won nor lost, he still has his £500 and a new bet will be placed probably this evening I think to try for the £1000 again.

And for those that are interested in the gambley side, it was a bet that a team had to win by three or more goals. If the team lost or drew, he would lose all the money, but if they won by two goals or less, they would keep their money but not win anything. Apparently it's a "safer" (?!) way of gambling big money because if you're fairly sure a team is going to win, but not sure by how many goals, you can keep your money 'safe' by betting on the win regardless, and just predicting the number of goals.

Or something Grin.

I PROMISE to come back and update you all with the outcome regardless, and if he wins, il find out the tipsters name and let you all know, and will count DH fully responsible for a load of gambling women!!

OP posts:
Original poster
AhoyMcCoy · 10/01/2014 15:06

Sorry, missed a crucial bit in my "gambling science" ramble - last nights team won, but by two goals. This means the £500 stake is still DH's (he needed three goals for a win), but he would have least it if the team drew or lost.

I think he's having second thoughts about betting it all again though- not sure his poor heart can take it, he was on tenterhooks all yesterday evening apparently!!

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 10/01/2014 15:57

Ok need the Twitter link!

bzoo · 10/01/2014 18:41

Oh!

WhatAPallava · 11/01/2014 08:32

Did he bet on a game last night then?
Any update?!

FourAndDone · 11/01/2014 15:25

Op are you splashing the cash??Smile

Original poster
AhoyMcCoy · 12/01/2014 13:45

Update for those who wanted the outcome!

The tipster guy completely disappeared! His page just vanished, no idea what happened. DH said his Facebook page had over 30,000 likes, and it's a possibility one of the betting companies might have 'paid him off' to disappear so that there wasn't a huge win. If he ever comes back, I'll let you all know!

The upside is, we have our £500! Yayyyy. DH has cashed it all out, it will be in his account in a few days, so I'm googling holidays for two Grin

OP posts:
birdybear · 12/01/2014 13:49

What was his name?

Original poster
AhoyMcCoy · 12/01/2014 14:18

It was "Football Mega Cash Challenge" was the fb page with 30,000 likes that disappeared. I think the actual guy remained anonymous.

OP posts:
nauticant · 12/01/2014 14:46

Top result, well done both of you!