Feeling upset about how the bar man spoke to us.

[crazygal]

Hi...
We decided to go out yesterday after having all Xmas in,our local pub/restaurant is just two mins walk over the road,
We booked a table and had a lovely meal,myself,dh and ds (9) also hfa...

After our meal,we took ourselves to the sofa were our friends were sitting,there boys were playing on there iPods,so our ds joined in,
The boys were good as gold,
But one of the boys started complaining that he lost his games,his mum took his iPod off him and told him to calm down,so her ds ran down the restaurant and outside,leaving the door open,
She sat there....
My ds got up and said,"I'll get him" I said no,leave it,but he didn't listen,and he ran out to him,I followed straight away and ordered him back in,
He ran back to the seat!
I spoke to my friends boy and calmed him and got him back in,he also ran,he's 8.
The little boys asked his mum for the iPod,she said no again..he ran down the restaurant agin! My ds got up and ran after him!!
I got up again and ordered the boys back in and asked them to walk nicely....
They didn't!
The bar man then came to me and said if your boy doesn't sit down then I'm going to have to ask you to leave!
Well...I wasn't very happy,
I said I'm clearly trying to get hi to sit down,we are regulars here and he's never stepped out of line!
He said nothing to the other mum.
The bar man repeated to me,like I said,if he doesn't behave you have to leave,I went over to the manager,with the bar man,I was pretty heeded off,I said I always keep check on my son in here,he's never allowed to run around and I got up each time (3times) and asked the boys to sit down,what more can I do?
He wasn't actually doing anything wrong!!
Besides,the loo is down there too...

The manager understood and (she's a personal friend) said I know your good parents,but you mate is not!
I pointed out we have been there for two hrs and he got off his seat 3 times!
To follow his friend....she understood and was lovely,
But he butted in at that point and said,if he doesn't stay seated then you have to leave....
I said we live in a small community full of family's,your restaurant has a sign welcoming children and was awarded5 stars for family pub!
I'm not sitting down getting pissed and letting him run around.
I got up each time....I'm doing my job being a parent why don't you do yours! He said I am and he has to sit down...
I told him he needs to work else where were kids are not welcome if he can't cope with a child getting up and down,

I walked off and a guy having a drink Interrupted me and said,he is only doing his job!
Omg I felt so angry and upset,we know the bar man,he joined us for my birthday meal,we don't socialise with him,but he's been in our company with others before...
I asked my friends who where there after,was I out of order,they said,we don't want to get involved...which upset me...
My hubby says I wasn't,he said he had not need to come over and tell me as I was clearly getting him to sit down,
In front of everyone to...
I don't know...we normally go there once a week for food but I'm feeling embarrassed now...

My friend was drunk,but not silly,she does let her ds run,I don't judge her for that,but wish I'd had some support of people...

Sorry for the long post...you half of it was getting it off my chest!

FUCK OFF to the posters who keep correcting her grammar. She wasn't using txt speak, she just got the word wrong. They sound the same and you knew what she meant, you just wanted to pick.

YABU from me, sorry.

Agreed, Candy. Just comes across as nasty.

OP, you have reacted like a good sport to all those YABUs.

OP, think the issue was that you know your son but the bartender really didn't, all he saw was a couple of kids running around. Anyway, don't let it get to you. :)

I second the 'FUCK OFF' above.

'Except' didn't make the op's sentences ambiguous, everybody knew what she meant, it was unnecessary and arsey to publicly correct her mistake. Do you do that to people in real life?

Maybe the 'spelling police' should keep in mind that being better with language merely means that you are better with language, it does not mean that you are a better person. I know loads of twats who write decent prose. Sit on your hands, the only person you are making look bad is yourself.

It was pretty annoying - the Except!!!

It is a difference word and pronounced differently.

AXE ept!!!!

I made a cake with flower!!

Oh god, I absolutely do it to people in real life.

If I was making a basic spelling error, I would want people to tell me so I could correct it, and learn.

I'm not 'spelling police'? Why would you leave it? Do you not think it benefits everyone when people can spell properly? FGS it's a basic part of the curriculum!

Many people have learning difficulties and/or dyslexia. Bet they feel fab when they get reprimanded by a stranger on a social media forum with an inflated sense of self.

I had an friend who moved abroad and we used to chat (several years ago) via MSN and email, she would comment on every little error, even a typo. I don't talk to her anymore. The spelling and grammar in my dissertation will be proof read and hopefully flawless, I don't care if I get a word or two wrong on her. I always do, I am human!

And to prove my point, I accidently wrote "on her" instead of "on here"!

Ha ha, I don't have an inflated sense of self!

People with learning difficulties and dyslexia also sometimes like to be corrected in their errors, you know. It is called learning.

Some people like to get things right, and be correct. Some don't care.

Each to their own. But, bad spelling and grammar annoy me, so I will continue to give people the benefit of correction. They can, if they so choose, ignore me.

Not a dripfeed at all, Fut, as she mentioned his HFA in the first post.

Oops, ignore me, missed a few dozen messages.

Juno you could have said, "just in case you wanted to know, it's accept" but you were much blunter. Anyway, it's a social media site, not an English lesson. I still maintain that, unless it makes zero sense or breaking guidelines, it's none of your business.

I bet you are barrel of laughs in social situations!

Friend: I'm just gonna get us a drink. Another vodka, Juno?
Juno: it's "going to"

Juno: "They can, if they so choose, ignore me."

You repeated your correction after the op ignored it. Why did you do that?

It wasn't just me.

candy I don't mind colloquialisms. Just spelling errors that I think warrant correction!

And I can't abide ignorant spelling. Sorry.

"Warrant correction"

You certainly do have an overinflated sense of self if you think that you have a right to correct somebody's spelling on here. Can you imagine how your behavior could make some people feel Juno? And for what, really? You aren't trying to benefit anybody but yourself. I hope you don't think that anybody believes that you are doing this because other people 'want' flaws in their language to be picked out, highlighted, and used by some smug cow to beat them over the head with, because that would warrant correction...

I'm not a 'smug cow', please don't be so nasty and rude.

Of course I have 'the right' to tell people when they've made a mistake. As they have the right not to heed my advice.

Dear, in what way do you think correcting someone making a spelling error is benefiting me? It isn't, not in the least. It's imparting knowledge. It's helping people become better, because ultimately, good spelling and grammar are positive attributes.

I've made spelling errors in the past, and have been corrected. I learnt, and didn't make them again. I presume I shall make more in the future; I'd be terribly disheartened if I thought people were passing on my ignorance when I could have had the chance to correct my mistake.

Would you prefer we just did away with the correct use of English and allowed people to spell as they wish, to avoid risk of offending? I would find that a very sad indictment on society, to be honest.

Some people are so far up their own arses that they can't see that their behaviour is very rude. ^

It isn't rude to correct a mistake. It just isn't!

Juno. I think it's ok to correct people's spelling once but to carry on comes across as smug. Posters that seem hellbent on correcting other posters spelling come across as pompous and patronizing to me.

My spelling and grammar is poor and I am more than happy to be corrected once! however a blunt bolded second correction would piss me off.

It wasn't intended as smug. The OP was ignoring the various people who pointed out the error.

Apologies OP of I came across as smug. I most certainly am not a smug person! We all make mistakes.

. FairPlay to you too Juno

LOL at I'm not a 'smug cow', please don't be so nasty and rude like your not being extremely rude anyway.

I don't think it is rude to correct a very annoying mistake. That said though, the corrections were ignored anyway.

Accept and except have totally different meanings.

Flame me if you want to.

For what it is worth though, I actually think the OP has been very gracious to ACCEPT that she was wrong because he child ran about in the pub. I do think though, that the pub managers were unreasonable too in that they didn't speak to the other parent, whose child seems to have caused the problem in the first place.