My feed
Premium
Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Feeling upset about how the bar man spoke to us.

112 replies

crazygal · 05/01/2014 21:40

Hi...
We decided to go out yesterday after having all Xmas in,our local pub/restaurant is just two mins walk over the road,
We booked a table and had a lovely meal,myself,dh and ds (9) also hfa...

After our meal,we took ourselves to the sofa were our friends were sitting,there boys were playing on there iPods,so our ds joined in,
The boys were good as gold,
But one of the boys started complaining that he lost his games,his mum took his iPod off him and told him to calm down,so her ds ran down the restaurant and outside,leaving the door open,
She sat there....
My ds got up and said,"I'll get him" I said no,leave it,but he didn't listen,and he ran out to him,I followed straight away and ordered him back in,
He ran back to the seat!
I spoke to my friends boy and calmed him and got him back in,he also ran,he's 8.
The little boys asked his mum for the iPod,she said no again..he ran down the restaurant agin! My ds got up and ran after him!!
I got up again and ordered the boys back in and asked them to walk nicely....
They didn't!
The bar man then came to me and said if your boy doesn't sit down then I'm going to have to ask you to leave!
Well...I wasn't very happy,
I said I'm clearly trying to get hi to sit down,we are regulars here and he's never stepped out of line!
He said nothing to the other mum.
The bar man repeated to me,like I said,if he doesn't behave you have to leave,I went over to the manager,with the bar man,I was pretty heeded off,I said I always keep check on my son in here,he's never allowed to run around and I got up each time (3times) and asked the boys to sit down,what more can I do?
He wasn't actually doing anything wrong!!
Besides,the loo is down there too...

The manager understood and (she's a personal friend) said I know your good parents,but you mate is not!
I pointed out we have been there for two hrs and he got off his seat 3 times!
To follow his friend....she understood and was lovely,
But he butted in at that point and said,if he doesn't stay seated then you have to leave....
I said we live in a small community full of family's,your restaurant has a sign welcoming children and was awarded5 stars for family pub!
I'm not sitting down getting pissed and letting him run around.
I got up each time....I'm doing my job being a parent why don't you do yours! He said I am and he has to sit down...
I told him he needs to work else where were kids are not welcome if he can't cope with a child getting up and down,

I walked off and a guy having a drink Interrupted me and said,he is only doing his job!
Omg I felt so angry and upset,we know the bar man,he joined us for my birthday meal,we don't socialise with him,but he's been in our company with others before...
I asked my friends who where there after,was I out of order,they said,we don't want to get involved...which upset me...
My hubby says I wasn't,he said he had not need to come over and tell me as I was clearly getting him to sit down,
In front of everyone to...
I don't know...we normally go there once a week for food but I'm feeling embarrassed now...

My friend was drunk,but not silly,she does let her ds run,I don't judge her for that,but wish I'd had some support of people...

Sorry for the long post...you half of it was getting it off my chest!

OP posts:
Report
crazygal · 05/01/2014 21:56

Yes I can see what your all saying. Thank you...as my friends wouldn't comment I did and ask for your option. Which I except.

OP posts:
Report
Fairenuff · 05/01/2014 21:56

You only left after your son had disrupted people three times and you had been spoken to by the manager. You should have left after the first time it happened if you know he won't listen to you and keep running around.

Report
Wolfiefan · 05/01/2014 21:56

Children should never run about in restaurants or pubs. They ran about (several times). You also sound like you were rude to him (telling him he should do his job?!)

Report
foslady · 05/01/2014 21:56

X post - thank you for finally seeing it from another angle

Report
dexter73 · 05/01/2014 21:57

I think you should be annoyed at your friend who did nothing to stop her child running around, not the barman for asking them to stay seated.

Report
crazygal · 05/01/2014 21:57

Frost lady what exactly have I not excepted,,,go back and read and see what I said

OP posts:
Report
kali110 · 05/01/2014 21:57

Yabu!!!iv worked in hospitality and hated bloody kids running around. The amount of times i nearly dropped food and drinks over the poor things!
The staff werent at fault here at all. They were doing their job. Bet all hell would have broke loose if the kids had have been hurt! I feel bad for the poor barman. No wonder your friends didnt want to say anything.

Report
Fairenuff · 05/01/2014 21:57

Your friends were being tactful by not commenting. If they thought you were being reasonable, they would have said so. As they opted to say nothing, that means they thought you weren't being reasonable but didn't want to outright say it.

Report
DrNick · 05/01/2014 21:57

God you sound like a PITA group.

Report
jacks365 · 05/01/2014 21:57

He kept repeating himself because you kept saying but. You should have just apologised for your son and agreed that if it continued you would take him home you yourself say you would have done so so why argue about it

Report
hippo123 · 05/01/2014 21:58

Yabu, the barman was only doing his job and it sounds like you put your manager friend of the pub in a very awkward position. Having two 8/9 year olds running around, where food and drink are, leaving doors open etc isn't on. Personally I think you should be annoyed at the other boys mother for not doing anything, not the staff.

Report
HairyGrotter · 05/01/2014 21:58

YABU, it also appears that you were speaking to the barman in a manner that is provoking and unpleasant

Report
Juno77 · 05/01/2014 22:00

It's accept not except.

And YABU. The bar tender was in the right.

Report
maddy68 · 05/01/2014 22:01

You were wrong. He was doing his job. I'm sure people had complained. I would gave to be honest. I hate young for a meal and feral children are running round.

Report
foslady · 05/01/2014 22:01

OP, you are posting on here as you spoke to the bar man -but we left (after it happened 3 times), but he's always usually very well behaved (but not this time), but we go there regularly (so he should know that you don't run)......

Report
sebsmummy1 · 05/01/2014 22:01

I'm not going to give my verdict as to whether you are right it wrong. What I will say is take some time to calm down and then reassess how you feel. You obviously like the pub/restaurant and have friends there. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face and make it somewhere you no longer feel able to go.

Report
BackforGood · 05/01/2014 22:01

Of course YABU - you can't have any age children running around in a restaurant. They did it not once, but over again.
Can't believe you are even asking, tbh, that is SO clearly out of order.

Report
DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 05/01/2014 22:02

If the child had hurt themselves on their property it can have implications, he wasn't unreasonable at all.

Report
WorraLiberty · 05/01/2014 22:03

You know you were BU and you've accepted that OP Thanks

Running around an environment like that it not only dangerous for the kids, it's dangerous for everyone else too.

The barman was just doing is job and trying to keep everyone safe.

Report
BrownSauceSandwich · 05/01/2014 22:03

I realise your son having ASD makes things harder for you both, but he does still have to live by the same rules as everybody else.

Report
kali110 · 05/01/2014 22:03

Possible the bloke who stuck up for the barman may have complain.
Agree with others that you also put your manager friend in a very awkward spot with her staff aswell

Report
CoffeeTea103 · 05/01/2014 22:06

Yabu, the bar man was right in telling you to repeatedly leave as you didn't seem to understand what he's saying. Bloody children running around, off course you should go and stop bothering people who came out to enjoy a meal.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

crazygal · 05/01/2014 22:06

Wow please don't batter me...
I except it!
I did leave like I said,
I know he's doing his job,that's fair enough,
I feel gutted it ended like that...what more can I say,
Yes he ran,and I stopped him as I don't approve of kids running in restaurants...and we left

OP posts:
Report
QuintessentialShadows · 05/01/2014 22:06

Yabu.

The barman would not have needed to repeat himself had you not

  1. Complained about him doing his job.
  2. Managed to keep your children in check
  3. Not starting to argue!


Part of living in a small community is to not expect preferential treatment when your children are a not only a nuisance but also a health and safety hazard, but to respect your community and its surroundings and other inhabitants.
Report
Bowlersarm · 05/01/2014 22:06

Well done OP. I hope you are not feeling quite so cross now. Agree with others that you should be annoyed with your tipsy friend though.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.