AIBU to think this girl needs a slap

[RalphLaurenLover]

This girl who use to hang around with us was always around trouble stealing, running away, violence, drinking, smoking, drugs you name it she did it.

I kind of moved on and she moved to a different area we had each other on Facebook but don't speak. She got pregnant and proclaimed it was going to be the making of her well it wasn't unfortunately she was constantly telling the Facebook world how SS were on to her and were going to "kidnap" her baby. She had and was given a chance and after a few photo's of her changing the child with her feet holding the bottle in it's mouth with the caption "you bitches can't multi-task like me" status of how she had to go through DNA because she'd slept around and drug test because she was taking her child to be around people whom do drugs she got miffed at the world because SS took the child away.

She still see it but lashed out at everyone with a child on Facebook stating she resents them because SS are C**t's and stole her baby they don't know what they're doing even one remark about how all the SS are is a paedophile gang leader taking and giving children to paedophiles?!?!

She's now telling the world of facebook how at her next contact she's just going to take the child and run because nobody will stop her and despite having no job, money or home she can provide better than these "paedophiles because it's going to be adopted yet she constantly refuses any help

AIBU to think that maybe if she didn't constantly accuse the SS and fill her Facebook full of shit like this she may have more of a chance I try to hide her post but some just creep on in

new*

Bloodyteenagers Well put.

period I wouldn't have a clue what the daily mail discourse. I don't read it.

You do what you like Period, you will anyway, and rightly so. I am saying there are more empowering ways of going about it.

You are right Klep actually. I dont hold back. I tend to use AIBU to say EXACTLY what i think!

Yes, i will work on that.

OP what point were you trying to make?

It is fun though.

I might finish my christmas booze too.

Vampyre I think it's a fairly obvious conclusion that this girl needs help??
That SS have removed the child is best, that too is obvious.
Many of us have bad experiences and can cope with our children, a minority can't.
The girls life before she had a child was chaotic, she needs not vilification.

needs help not vilification

i can only sympathise to an extent with someone who neglects their child. i feel much worse for the child who was born into such an environment.

Period

period I wouldn't have a clue what the daily mail discourse. I don't read it

Not a bad thing IMO!

It's kind of black and white value judgments about things.

White, British, Working peoples newspaper.

'People on the dole should get off their lazy arses and work'

'immigrants go home'

'lock the criminals up and throw away the key'

that kind of thing.

Klep I'm going to bed with that. I'm giving myself eye bags and a pulsing vein! *Cheers

and surely if you'd had your child taken away you'd have more important things to do than fuck about on facebook.

You were never going to get the response you were looking for on here OP, as it's not really an AIBU, you seem to have already formed your opinion on this girl.

It sounds to me like she has mental health issues or at least is very troubled. The best thing you can do, if she isn't close to you, is block her on Facebook and stop thinking about it. Social services are involved and the child has been removed so she isn't in danger. I hope she gets the help she needs.

I'm off to bed myself, this Baileys is clarty.

Night Op, do come back another thread. Night Period.

That's your perogative Vampyre
Luckily, professionals in the field have more sympathy than you (should the girl avail of the help she is no doubt being offered)
It is a very rare individual who neglects their child deliberately.
We all feel for a child born into such chaos, the baby is now safe and will be minded better.

Room You're right, they no doubt will professionals in the field have more sympathy than you

Don't worry Kelp I was watching Bridget Jones I won't leave MN

so it's possible to 'accidentally' have your baby around drugs? i've known people like op's 'friend' and honestly, not everyone in this situation is vulnerable and mentally ill. some people have children well before they're mature enough to hack it and then realise it's not as glamorous as they thought and they get bored and try to claw back some freedom. not all but definitely some. i hope she gets the help she needs and her baby is raised by more able parents.

Oh, come on...

Yes, the woman undoubtedly does have psychological issues, but you can't mend people simply by being a friend.

I have a friend like this. I saw what kind of life she was going to lead, back when we were seventeen. I tried to save her. Occasionally she listened to my advice, but mostly she didn't. It all played out the way I thought it would. Not only did she need professional help, she needed to accept she needed it. She never has. A slap wouldn't help, but you know what? Sometimes I've wanted to shake sense into her. She has to reach rock bottom by herself and then want to climb back up, but it is no fun to watch. She has made amazingly stupid decisions that have lost her her son, and she has a coterie of people telling her social services are evil. I wouldn't be surprised if she's in touch with a certain MP. She genuinely has a host of issues. She's not nasty. Just unable to make rational decisions. It made her an unfit parent, and unable to acknowledge her mistakes.

She's still on my fb, because I know she'd notice if I blocked her, and I will not hurt her like that. I hide her posts.

Judgment isn't helpful, but frustration is human.

It's possible to not realise the implications or the severity of having your child in what are obviously (to some) dangerous situations...ie. around drugs.
I agree that some people do have kids without thinking about it (I know enough parents like you mention)
This girl has a history of self destructive behaviour, that implies serious deep-rooted problems to me, not changing her mind about being a mother on a whim.

HRH You genuinely made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

OP, have a deeper look into what you're feeling witnessing your friends life. Truly, deep down you know that you have no influence what so ever and there's not life changing one liner you can offer.

You can (if you choose to - no one can judge you for not wanting the responsibility) sympathise with a mother who is helpless - and she is, her particular circumstances and emotional maturity considering- to stop events around her.

She'll learn her own lessons in her own time, please don't be another voice telling her how shit she is, honestly, you're better to wash your hands than add to that.

sparklyknickers I did? If you're thinking you might know the same person, a couple of details have been mixed up her and there to avoid someone identifying her from tnis and any other posts I make. Just in case. Because sometimes I rage here about it all.

There's lot of unhappy people, sadly, who never escape the psychological shackles of their childhood. The circumstances I've fitted together there must describe tens, hundreds of women. I hate how broken the world is.

Yes a slap will definitely help- i'm sure if she saw a counsellor that's exactly what they'd suggest. Where does one go for a sense inducing slap? Is it a teacher? Or a martial arts instructor?

I know a woman who is similar. Probably worse (and ive witnessed her neglect myself). It is frustrating. But if you cant remain a positive part of her life i think its best to remove yourself from it. Sitting there getting angry wont do either of you any good.