To ask about pocket money or is it too nosey?

[Madambossyboots]

I probably should have sorted this out before However part of me doesn't like the giving of pocket money because
A) in the past all money went on choc & sweets. Waste of money IMO.
B) money gets lost around the house, or dropped when we are out, I end paying double to replace, or look like an arse when I say tough luck at the tills when said money is missing
C) money is used to buy school lunch when I have provided lunch already
D) lend money to friends who don't pay back
E) dc see something they want when out without their money and "borrow" but never see said money because I feel mean taking £1 or I forget.
I have five dc baby won't be getting money so no problem. I have:-
Dd-14
Ds-12.5
Ds has pet dragon but wants to keep buying it things. Unnecessary things I feel, even the food is becoming an issue. He wants to feed it "the best" and it is not cheap.
I think pocket money will help him and end my frustration. I don't begrudge him his much loved pet.
I buy also pay their mobile contracts and give money if they go out to meet friends albeit not often.
Other dd are 7 & 5 they don't need money.... I don't feel .... Reason A
Anyways any ideas, would be graciously read and thought about.

If you don't want to give pocket money then don't but could you give the DS a budget per month for his dragon in return for a few little jobs around the house ,if that's how things work in your house .

DS age 7 has £5 per week.

It's his money he can buy what ever he want, normally a magazine and some sweets. If he loses it he does. I think it teaches him good money skills.

a) part of learning to handle money imo
b) any money lying around I take into my purse and don't pay again. again part of learning about money/responsibility
c) well, their choice. see above
d) learning about value/friendships
e) how can they learn about saving/lendin/repaying if you don't follow up?

I think you need to talk about it and to lead by example.

blimey, £5/week for a 7yo. I AM mean.

Mine have always had theirs paid straight into their bank accounts. I bank with the Halifax and can pay weekly standing orders and I guess that most banks allow this.

Having money but not having cash hanging around has made them better at not frittering it all on sweets.

As my DDs hit their teens I changed them both over to monthly allowances:

DD1 (18) gets £100/month. She buys all her own clothes, school lunches and travel to school and anything else she wants.

DS (15) gets £6/week this is pure pocket money

DD2 (14) gets £50/month. She buys all non-uniform clothes

I pay the phone contracts for all 3. All are on fixed price bundles.

Other than their allowances/pocket money none of them are given any extra cash for cinema/meeting friends etc. Everything has to come out of pocket money (this includes Christmas & birthday presents to DH & me and also to each other).

YOUR SON HAS A DRAGON!!!???

13 y old gets £13 per month. He saves some, uses the rest for occasional trips to cinema / shopping with friends.

11 y old gets £11 per month. He saves some, fritters spends the rest on magazines & sweets.

9 y olds each get 90p per week. They save some and spend the rest at second hand book sales, school fairs etc.

Wow, £5 a week for a 7yr old. Your are very generous, can I move in

What would the budget for the dragon look like? Does it cover replacing fire-damaged furniture?

Both boys get money as to the age they are.

Ie ds1 is 11 and gets £11.

Ds2 is 9 and gets £9

PER MONTH though not week.

Not connected to jobs though ds1 helps with laundry and ds2 does the hoovering.

lljkk I think it can be very difficult to work out whether this amount or that is mean or generous unless we all sit down with spreadsheets and with perfect recall to say how much we spent on top of actual cash to hand!

Ours isn't connected to chores either. They have to do those regardless.

I get DLA for him.

mine are 14/12/9 the older 2 get £3 a week the youngest gets £2

they get an extra £10 spending money when we go on holiday and they got £20 each towards buying presents for friends at Christmas. they get all clothes toiletries and their phones toped up as and when needed, they also get bought sweets once a week or if we go out for the day. we could easily afford them to have more money but what do they need it for?

we have never had a problem with them losing it, leaving it laid around, or theft etc. They lend/borrow from us or each other occasionally. They are also allowed to use their birthday/Christmas money as they want but we ask them to put some in their building soc accounts.

Even the youngest is very sensible, knows the value of things, knows how to budget and weigh up the pros and cons of what to spend on. They are also very generous and give to charity/school sales etc and each have their own charity money box they empty now and then and tell us where to send the money (their choices include water aid , local hospice and the philipines lately) - or they give when they see a disaster on the news. They understand about living within your means and about credit cards and huge interest charges etc.

too many kids have parents who give them too much but do not TEACH them about money and making wise choices, these are the ones who end up thinking their first wages are all pocket money and get in a mess with their bills/debts.

P.S. my son would LOVE a dragon - how big is it

DDs 1&2 age 17 and 13 get £10 per month and I pay their £15 per month mobile contracts. DD3 (6) sometimes gets a £1 if we're popping into town.

Worry, being nosy and you dont have to answer but why does your DS get less than both girls even though not the youngest?

We dont really do pocket money as its easier to just buy DS treats as and when but have always planned to start once he is settled at secondary. The plan is to set him up with a bank account and a card and let him learn to budget and he can have his child benefit. From that he can pay for treats, phone, cinema etc but we will still purchase his clothes.

14&12 year olds have an allowance. Buys majority of non essential clothes (neither very into clothes,) pay their own mobile , presents & going out. Dd1 gets £25 a month and dd2 gets £20.
It goes into their bank account and they withdraw when they need it or pay mobile from cash machine. Dd1 had it dissed straight away at 11 , dd2 is still struggling to not spend it all.

So to reply to your points OP
A) in the past all money went on choc & sweets. Waste of money IMO. that's their lesson to learn
B) money gets lost around the house, or dropped when we are out, I end paying double to replace, or look like an arse when I say tough luck at the tills when said money is missing finders keepers, usually dd3 does ok out of this
C) money is used to buy school lunch when I have provided lunch already thats their problem
D) lend money to friends who don't pay back thats a lesson to learn
E) dc see something they want when out without their money and "borrow" but never see said money because I feel mean taking £1 or I forget. no money, no buy

Ours have £20 a month plus extra money for drinks and snacks if they are meeting their friends or going to cinema/football match (but they pay to go in).

I need to change it so ds [15] has a clothes allowance too, but I am not sure he would ever buy himself anything-he's not into shopping.

At that age mine got £10 a week pocket money on a Saturday after they had cleaned their rooms. If they didn't clean up there was no pocket money.

Out of that they bought all the junk they thought they needed, magazines, fizzy drinks, or used it going out with friends at the weekend.

I was quite happy to give extra occasionally if they were going to a birthday party or somewhere special, but would give extra if they hadn't cleaned their rooms.

My Dd is 17 now and still get £10 a week from me, she also gets £20 a week college bursary, she she has enough money to get what she needs i buy her clothes still though.

I did try clothes allowance for a while but my DD was just buying rubbish and never had any clothes so now i buy her basic clothes, she saves up for the expensive tat she thinks she needs..

Mine are 8 & 9 and get £5 a week, and have done for the past year, actually saves me money, as now they use it for sweets/magazines etc and once it's gone it's gone. They have both become quite good at saving since they've had 'there own' money too.

What mousmous saidin reply to your reasons.

In junior school my dc got 10p per yr of age, per week ..... eg 70p a week for a 7 yr old
In secondary they get £1per month per yr of age, so my 15 yr old gets £15 a month.

We pay for things they belong to, subs etc and they pay all stuff they 'want' rathr than need. They pay for their own phones.

They have to do stuff around the hose because they live hre, but its not directly related to pocket money.

Thre are threads about this on here every month though and it varies wildly.

Mine are 8, 6, 6 and 3. They get 10p per year of age plus10p per week so 90, 70, 70 and 40p. They can earn extra by doing little jobs. I use an app on my phone called bankaroo to keep track of what they have. They each have their own account on there and love seeing it add up each week. They can set themselves saving goals. Its a good introduction to money management.

lloydlf76 You must be me! We did the 10p per year of age though once we got to senior school age we did up the amount somewhat.

As an older teen our DD got some money that was just given (£5 pw) then up to another £7 pw on condition she completed certain jobs around the house, e.g. hoovering the whole house earns a fiver of that.

Slightly off-topic but I remember a friend of mine saying that when she was a child if she wanted comics she had to buy them out of her pocket money but if she wanted a book her parents always bought it for her. She was widely read!