To ask about pocket money or is it too nosey?

[Madambossyboots]

I probably should have sorted this out before However part of me doesn't like the giving of pocket money because
A) in the past all money went on choc & sweets. Waste of money IMO.
B) money gets lost around the house, or dropped when we are out, I end paying double to replace, or look like an arse when I say tough luck at the tills when said money is missing
C) money is used to buy school lunch when I have provided lunch already
D) lend money to friends who don't pay back
E) dc see something they want when out without their money and "borrow" but never see said money because I feel mean taking £1 or I forget.
I have five dc baby won't be getting money so no problem. I have:-
Dd-14
Ds-12.5
Ds has pet dragon but wants to keep buying it things. Unnecessary things I feel, even the food is becoming an issue. He wants to feed it "the best" and it is not cheap.
I think pocket money will help him and end my frustration. I don't begrudge him his much loved pet.
I buy also pay their mobile contracts and give money if they go out to meet friends albeit not often.
Other dd are 7 & 5 they don't need money.... I don't feel .... Reason A
Anyways any ideas, would be graciously read and thought about.

wow this thread has madee think!
I hav 4 dc
dont do pocket money, if the want somthing and they hav behaved then they get it.
dd 14 gets her phone contract paid for and if is out with friends I give her money.
reading all ur messages though im thinking they should get a bit of responsibility handling there own money, I like idea of same amount for there age

My ds 9 and dd1 7 get £2.50 a week if they do the chores I ask and their behaviour is good. Last week dd gave me £12 in coins and asked me to get her a monster high doll from Amazon. My mil thought I was mean to take it. [Hmm] dd was very proud of herself for saving for something she really wanted. I think she appreciates it more. She has definitely been looking after it better than she does her other toys.

Not at that stage yet, but from age of about 9 or 10, I got ~£6 per week "allowance". That was 80p per day for school dinners (showing my age...), plus money for swimming and brownies. As I got older, and my activities got more expensive, this increased, and at 15 I got about £20 per week, and bought a lot of my own clothes out of it, plus bus fares (rural area).

I think this was a great idea, and it really did make me think about budgeting, etc. (e.g. if I didn't buy sweets at school I could save the money, where previously I'd given my mum my change every day).

I'd definitely hope to do something similar with mine.

DS (9) gets £5 per week but for that he has to...

Empty dishwasher daily
Load dishwasher after Dinner daily
strip and wash bedding once a week
put bedding back on once dry
Put all clothes way
Do his own washing (DH or I dry and iron)
Complete all homework to a satisfactory standard with NO MOANING
Receive more than 8/10 for his weekly spelling test
Dust the house on a Saturday morning
Bedroom and playroom tidy at all times, for each time DH or I remind him 50p is removed.

Worth every penny!

WorrySighWorrySigh, being nosy and you dont have to answer but why does your DS get less than both girls even though not the youngest?

^^^^

I want know too.

captain , that sounds an awful lot for £5 ,would you do all that for less than the minimum wage ?

Flora No, but I'm not 9

He has always been quite helpful and is been more than happy to pitch in with chores, both DH and I work full time so if everyone pitches in - there is more time for everyone to enjoy themselves together. meaning DH and DS get more time on Minecraft or Fifa

I'm not smug enough to think this will continue in his teenage years - but a woman can dream!

The whole point of pocket money to me is to teach them to take responsibility for money. It's a hands-on learn-from-experience kind of teaching. But if they are to learn you need to let them experience the consequences of unwise choices. So if they drop money, they've lost it. If they waste it, it's wasted. If they lend it to friends they have to either go without or get it back from their friends.

It's preparation for adult life (which your eldest will be dealing with in 4 years time). If you go and lose your money, your boss isn't going to pay you extra wages, is s/he?

My 13yo has a monthly allowance of £13. No chores or conditions and no insights into how he spends it. He has to buy his own sweets/magazines/trips out and other non-essentials, but we keep him with basic clothes and hygiene products and will occasionally give him bus money to town.

My 17yo has a larger allowance, £30/month, but has to buy her own clothes and presents and phone credit. Again no chores. I expect basic helpfulness of them both.

I did answer, honestly!

DS gets less because he doesnt buy any of his own clothes or toiletries. At the moment he just isnt interested so if we gave him a clothes allowance then either he would spend it on xbox games or it would go unspent and he would wear rags!

On the other hand he belongs to Army cadets which requires a fair amount of kit. The Army provides a fair bit but we have to provide boots etc so we pay for this.

With three it is difficult to work out what is fair. On the face of it DD2 is probably worst off as she gets only £20/month more than DS yet has to buy all her non-school clothes. On the other hand she gets a lot of clothes handed on to her from her older sister.