Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

999 replies

LessMissAbs · 03/01/2014 23:29

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

OP posts:
sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:19

"You and your friend are rude cunts HTH"

binkybix the above shows along with the other insults on this thread that some people are NOT just discussing the matter decently are they? She doesn't HAVE to agree that she's wrong, she really really does not.

sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:20

In YOUR opinion obvs nauticent.

nauticant · 04/01/2014 12:21

Your mum.

Binkybix · 04/01/2014 12:21

Why do you think cinemas ask people to turn their phones off?

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 04/01/2014 12:21

Going to the cinema isn't cheap, it's a real treat for DH and I on the rare nights we go out.

Rustling wrappers and quietly whispered questions have been part of the package since the start of the cinema.

She was a bit unreasonable (i hesitate to say rude as I wasn't there to hear if she full on screamed) to comment so lously, but your friend was BU to be so distracting and YWBVVU to pick an argument after the film. That was very rude.

bringbacksideburns · 04/01/2014 12:21

Wow. Some people are really overthinking this.

She wasn't sitting with a light the size of a small Light house. It wouldn't really register on my radar unless it was done every five minutes.
What would annoy me is loud talking or ridiculously noisy crunching and chewing or actually talking on their phones.

Do people really erupt over stuff like this? How do they get through life on a daily basis? They must live on a knife edge.

sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:24

Thanks for completely summing up many AIBU posters in two words. Excellent work Smile.

SarahAndFuckTheResolutions · 04/01/2014 12:25

"Actually I got rather too much of an insight into what she was thinking about other people in the cinema and her thoughts on them."

Perhaps you did. But only after your friend had disturbed her by using her phone as a glow in the dark clock and you had then taken it upon yourself to start an argument about it.

I know that cinema's are full of other people, but you want the consideration to work only one way. Your way. If it's not annoying you, then that's fine, if it does annoy you then as you have already said, you will glare at them or challenge them afterwards.

Cinema's sell food and drink, so it's reasonable to expect people to eat, drink and need to get up to go and use the toilet.

Cinema's, and not just art house ones as you seem to think, also ask people to turn off their phones and not talk through the film, so there's nothing wrong with expecting people to leave their phones alone and not hold a conversation during the film.

You and your friend were rude and all the sheeple comments and insisting you are better than this woman and wouldn't want to be like her aren't really proving any different.

nauticant · 04/01/2014 12:25

You're welcome!

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 04/01/2014 12:25

I think cinemas ask that people turn their phones off binkbix because the sound of a ringing noise during the film will be distracting. That's why most of the adverts for the turning off of phones in cinemas feature a clip of a ring tone disturbing a film. Can't say I've seen any clips of irate harridans launching into rants mid films due to phone lights though.

I didn't pick an argument quite deliberately after the film SpecialAgent I said that I didn't want to hear her booming voice during the film whatever her irritation then turned my back on her while she attempted to argue and insult me, put my coat on and walked off. I don't do slanging matches in cinemas, but I do speak out if I feel I've something worthwhile to say.

And disturbing an entire cinema with your voice, is far worse than a very occasional light from a mobile phone which people right next to that light (if it was that and not just fumbling in a handbag) that annoyed her.

OP posts:
sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:25

No bringback they don't erupt like this in RL, unless they are rather uptight and entitled and imagine they should be able to control the behaviours of an entire room full of people.

alemci · 04/01/2014 12:26

maybe your friend could invest in a watch. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me about her looking at her phone OOH and that women could have held her tongue.

I think people need to think before they say things like that and let things go unless it is really important ITMS.

Binkybix · 04/01/2014 12:27

No she doesn't have to agree she's wrong, but she doesn't also have to make up stuff that the women was thinking in order to vindicate herself.

Fact is, she thinks that behaviour that annoys many people is perfectly acceptable. And she followed and was rude to a women who had made a reasonable request for her friend to stop a behaviour that the cinema actively tells you not to do.

She was a bully and behaved badly and nothing wrong with telling her that. For her to then ignore it, obviously.

playavsnow · 04/01/2014 12:27

I'm guessing the bizarre, rude if entertaining and hilarious attitude and comments from the OP have produced some of the more 'to the point' replies, rather than proper discussion.

RandyRudolf · 04/01/2014 12:27

If people are inconsiderate then there are no amount of comments made on this thread that will change the way they are. No amount of comments made to their face in the cinema/theatre/library/on the bus etc will change them. Some individuals are just brazen and think only of themselves. It is the rest of us who sadly have to live with it. Unfortunately in my experience it's getting worse. I think it can be quite dangerous too to challenge people, you get verbally abused or even stabbed/ beaten up on the street. Dramatic but true in some instances.

sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:29

I think people who got SO upset that they think its acceptable to call the OP some of the names she's been called on this thread have far more problems than the OP tbh.

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 04/01/2014 12:29

playvasnow I'm guessing the bizarre, rude if entertaining and hilarious attitude and comments from the OP have produced some of the more 'to the point' replies, rather than proper discussion

Send me to the naughty chair!

OP posts:
RedactedEdition · 04/01/2014 12:29

In any other topic area, I would agree with you sparkly - but this is AIBU.....Am I Being Unreasonable ?
A question
To which, presumably, posters require answers.

Why ask the question, only to adamantly defend the stance as correct?
If someone is adamant that they are in the right, fine! post the viewpoint in Chat.

However, if asking a question in AIBU results in the vast majority of people saying you are not only unreasonable, but rude - you can only expect a pretty robust response if you then climb on a soapbox and announce that they are all wrong - that you are right, always were right, have no intention of questioning your rightness in the matter and anyone who thinks you were wrong falls into a "one of those women" category.

WHY ask the question!!!!!!!

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 04/01/2014 12:30

I think having a sense of proportion is an under-valued trait.

OP posts:
Binkybix · 04/01/2014 12:31

Some of the non-art house cinemas I've been to also stipulate no light from phones, and people have been removed for not following it.

nauticant · 04/01/2014 12:31

WHY ask the question!!!!!!!

Because it adds to the gaiety of the nation.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/01/2014 12:32

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
op you are a one....

Binkybix · 04/01/2014 12:33

I think it's a fairly new phenomenon since smart phones took off.

sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:33

I don't agree that AIBU should be exempt from the rules regarding dishing out name calling and personal attacks.

missmarplestmarymead · 04/01/2014 12:34

I imagine that the woman tutted a few times before speaking.

In any event, well done her for speaking loudly to the bone head: always the best thing to do...show the twonks up at every opportunity! It would be great then if others would say, 'hear hear!' maybe their skins won't be as thick as their heads and next time they will stay away or behave.