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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

999 replies

LessMissAbs · 03/01/2014 23:29

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

OP posts:
CeliaLytton · 04/01/2014 12:00

LessMiss you are already one of 'those' women by the tone of your posts. Not the type to shout in the cinema, but the type to be argumentative, selfish and consider yourself better than everyone else.

Going to go and post elsewhere now as what was funny to begin with is not so self important it is making me cringe.

playavsnow · 04/01/2014 12:02

I'd say you were one of 'those women' too. That rant at the end of the film Clearly lacking in finesse Wink

Iwilltrythisnamefornow · 04/01/2014 12:02

celialytton I now have a ridiculous urge to stalk you on other threads and judge how pre-irritated I think you are. Wink

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/01/2014 12:03

I know is truly lacking in finesse on this thread.

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 04/01/2014 12:05

Motherinlawsdung You and your friend are rude cunts. HTH

Quite sure that I have got through life thus far without being a rude cunt and that I haven't suddenly turned into one.

If I had been as intolerant of other human beings as that woman in the cinema, I would simply have turned to the irritating person and said to them "Could you stop using your phone please. I find it distracting".

Job done. No irritating cunts harmed in any way. And the rest of the cinema doesn't have to share in it.

OP posts:
Binkybix · 04/01/2014 12:05

I think she made a fool of herself

I think you made a fool of yourself and that you're doing it again now. Agree that you already sound like one of 'those' women. Ugh.

How do you know her phone was mostly in her bag if you didn't see what happened?

SarahAndFuckTheResolutions · 04/01/2014 12:05

If it was a big multiplex then it probably had all those signs and adverts I was just talking about, reminding you to turn off your phones so as not to spoil the film for everyone else.

Your friend decided that this rule obviously didn't apply to her as she really needed to know the time throughout the film.

Someone made a very reasonable but loud request for her to take the phone outside if she had to keep looking at it.

If your friend is 36 then she's old enough to know that rules apply to her and if she works in the EU she should also be confident enough to stick up for herself if need be.

You had no need to involve yourself at all, but you did and you were wrong. You made the entire thing worse and probably embarrassed your friend even more than she already was.

And you can't possibly know what the woman was thinking just because you were in the same room as her, not unless the EU finally has developed the art of mind reading and you and your friend are the thought police.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/01/2014 12:07

I would have given her a standing ovation .
Twats like the op and her "finessed" young looking but 36 years old eu working friend are why I rarely waste money going to the cinema.

Sparklingbrook · 04/01/2014 12:08

'There's always one' as the saying goes.......

Some people can't abide by polite rules.

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 04/01/2014 12:08

Christ I bloody hope I'm not one of those women. I meant to be rude to her, because I thought she was being a bit of a bully. Maybe I am wrong, maybe that is terrible projection on my part and therefore I am a cunt and should go to hell but there you go.

That sharp intake of breath followed by a range of insulting clichés for me daring to call her out on it told me what I needed to know and was almost worth being one of those women momentarily. I hope it passes and doesn't stay with me.

The reason I'm still posting about it the morning after is, yes, her behaviour, did ruin my enjoyment of the film.

OP posts:
nauticant · 04/01/2014 12:09

her "finessed" young looking but 36 years old eu working friend

ha ha ha ha ha ha

soverylucky · 04/01/2014 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SarahAndFuckTheResolutions · 04/01/2014 12:09

Her behaviour was a result of your friend's behaviour.

ExcuseTypos · 04/01/2014 12:10

How can those of you with watches check the time anyway, if the cinema is so dark? You can't see the blooming time(unless you have a light on it)

This week we went to see American Huslte (which we found to be rubbish) there were people eating, talking quietly, and 3 people infront of us left half way through and a few people looked at their phones. Each one caused a few seconds of disturbance, but none made me start shouting at anyone.

If you go to a public cinema you can't expect to sit through it without a single disturbance.

sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:10

OP I would leave this alone now if i were you, sheeple are just piling on with insults now without actually discussing the matter properly. What's the point in that? You're never going to agree you were wrong and why on earth should you if you don't feel you were?

I find the attitude of agree with the majority or else you're rude, immature, pathetic blah blah blah in AIBU striking when you consider this is a website that prides itself on exposing and not tolerating abusive treatment in relationships and every day life. Agree that you're wrong and we are right or we will become frustrated, angry and insult you increasingly. Think what we think because we are right. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

Binkybix · 04/01/2014 12:10

Remove your strike through and I think you've got it OP.

You didn't 'call her out' anything - your friend was rude then you were ruder.

RabbitPies · 04/01/2014 12:12

And your friend's behaviour ruined the woman's enjoyment of the film,and likely that of others,but apparently that doesn't matter.

hercules1 · 04/01/2014 12:12

Op, you are coming across in a particularly bad light on this thread although I don't think you realise this. The other woman said one thing in reaction to your friend being irritating. Whether or not you feel it was justified became irrelevant some time ago. You have continued to be really nasty about her when all she did was pull your friend up on her rudeness.

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 04/01/2014 12:12

Sarah And you can't possibly know what the woman was thinking just because you were in the same room as her

Actually I got rather too much of an insight into what she was thinking about other people in the cinema and her thoughts on them.

Do mumsnetters not actually go to the cinema any more? Or do they just go to these art housey ones where there are signs up saying you mustn't eat or drink.

They are full of other people you know. Making noise from moving about, opening handbags, eating (god forbid I know!), getting up and going to the toilet, etc. My tolerance level is that if someone isn't actually speaking continually, kicking the back of my chair, jostling me or fidgeting to the point of being demented, I will leave them be, since its not my own private cinema.

I don't think occasionally checking the time on your phone, or for messages, or whatever my friend was doing, is on a par with phones ringing during the film.

OP posts:
nauticant · 04/01/2014 12:14

sheeple are just piling on with insults now

sheeple is a very rubbish and shitty insult.

Binkybix · 04/01/2014 12:14

sparkly OP has come on here looking for vindication and congratulation for her rudeness (I think what she did was bullying actually) and when people have disagreed with her she's gone on to be supercilious and show the sort of attitude I suspect she showed on the night. It's not simply that we disagree.

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 04/01/2014 12:16

ExcuseTypos This week we went to see American Huslte (which we found to be rubbish) there were people eating, talking quietly, and 3 people infront of us left half way through and a few people looked at their phones. Each one caused a few seconds of disturbance, but none made me start shouting at anyone

That's pretty much my standard cinema going experience too. Except it was All if Lost. Where on earth are these deathly quiet cinemas where everyone sits in a hush, waiting to pounce on someone who makes a movement that might irritate someone sitting a seat away?

Sounds so tense, I wouldn't want to go to such a cinema. I have never been in a cinema like that. Where on earth are these cinemas?

btw I have a watch with a light, and I checked the time twice as I found the film quite tense and I wanted to see how long the poor guy had to go being shipwrecked. Clearly I caused major irritation to the rest of the cinema by doing so - who knew!

OP posts:
sparklysilversequins · 04/01/2014 12:16

I disagree nauticant but don't worry I won't try and force you to agree with me.

nauticant · 04/01/2014 12:18

No worries sparklysilversequins, just letting you know you were being hypocritical.

Dimittis · 04/01/2014 12:19

First the woman boomed.

Now she bawled.

Neither of which she would have had to do had your friend turned her phone off, like she was supposed to.

Being in your mid-thirties and working for the EU is of course terribly impressive and means you don't have to turn your phone off in a cinema. (Angela Merkel may have been trying to get through.)

Perhaps someone so evidently full of finesse might be able to Google the length of a film before going to watch it though? Or buy a watch? Or follow instructions?