To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

[LessMissAbs]

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

It doesn't matter what you thought irritated the woman, OP (you cannot possibly know). She told you it was your friend playing with her phone.

My friend is very small and slight, she possibly mistook her for being quite young

This is relevant how?

She had probably completely forgotten the whole incident whereas you are on an Internet forum 24 hours later still outraged and full of venom for her.

Is there a leak here? I can hear dripping.

Your friend WBU, regardless of how the woman handled it. The fact that she is 30 is beside the point, if anything she should, by her age, be able to work out the end time of the film. As for working for the EU, people in all forms of employment can be selfish, inconsiderate and self important

If you had approached this differently, more people may have agreed with you, but you are coming across as so self righteous and smug about how you have better manners than the woman who had a valid complaint. As you have admitted, your friend had no good reason to be using her phone, the fact you didn't notice may be because you are so used to her checking the time it doesn't even register with you anymore!

This thread is incredible, especially the 'full of hatred and contempt' line and your latest post about your 'impressions' of this poor woman whose enjoyment of the film was marred by your friend. It's the nearest online equivalent I've seen to a toddler putting a bucket over their head and shouting 'la la la I'm not listening'. Excellent stuff, OP!

TBH if someone sat right next to me and there were lots of seats (ie not likely to be a packed film) then I'd move along too. I wouldn't be annoyed, just prefer not to sit right next to people.

So suddenly this entire thread has become about OP's impressions. Sorry, you don't get to condemn someone as being rude just because of your impressions about what she was thinking. It remains the fact that your friend was being extremely rude and inconsiderate, and shouldn't have had to be asked to stop checking her phone; she shouldn't have been doing it anyway. OK, maybe the woman could have asked her a bit more quietly, but when your friend is the one who has caused the woman to have to speak, I don't think you're really in a position to complain about how she does it. I suspect the main reason the film was spoilt for you was because your friend was called out for her bad behaviour, not the manner in which it was done.

Can we hope that your friend has at least now learnt from this to leave her phone alone when she goes to the cinema? How about getting her a watch if she's that obsessed with knowing the time?

'Pre-irritated'. Brilliant. I am guessing she is 'post irritated' now, and hs forgotten all about it.

Credit to the OP though, the weather's shit out there and this thread is providing much unintended entertainment.

I am pretty sure that if my friend was being badly distracting, I would have noticed. I don't see how I couldn't have done, if it was bad enough to comment on. I'm not an especially tolerant person but I don't think I could ever resort to bawling at someone like a child for marginally annoying me in a cinema.

I think she made a fool of herself. It wasn't one of those arty small niche cinemas, it was a city centre multiplex showing a broad appeal film, quite full, mainly I would say of teenagers and youngish people with a smattering of older people - as far as I could tell in the dark and going in and leaving. We weren't late - we arrived before the first advert.

I wasn't involved in anything that irritated the woman, but I was actually pretty annoyed at her for disturbing my cinema going experience by creating an argument with another cinema goer. I wasn't disturbed by any phone use from my friend, but I was disturbed by her shouting in the cinema. I don't want to hear it, which is why at the end of the film I said it to her. From her reaction, she was pretty unfamiliar at people standing up to her.

nennypops Sorry, you don't get to condemn someone as being rude just because of your impressions about what she was thinking

Well, yes, I do because I was there.

Maybe she overreacted, but your friend shouldn't have been using her phone and you should have kept out of it, your response sounded far ruder than her initial comment. Hopefully your friend will get will get a watch after this, even with a non lit one you can usually see the time by turning it to catch light from the screen.

So now phone checking's justified because of the type of cinema it was? This thread is excellent.

BLUE UGG. You are exactly right.

I would urge everyone to embarrass these boneheads by loudly correcting them because if we don't, in the end, we will end up with a society where they will be able to do what they please because no one challenged them.

We all have a duty to do it but if you are nervous about doing so, at least support the people who do or insist that boneheads are thrown out.

If the bone head looks as if they are going to throw popcorn over you (as someone up thread said they would do) then look as if you will shove their phone up their arse sideways, if at all possible.

We must all show these boneheads how to behave before they ruin everything for everybody.

OP if you had dared to address me in such a way in the foyer, after I had given you free instruction in how to behave, you would need the light of your friend's phone to remove your head from your arse.

Stand up to the boneheads!

Your friend was still rude,and you were too,not that you'll accept it.

Ah well if she works for the EU she must be a wonderful respectable person.

Nick Griffin MEP

But,OP, she only actually said "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".
You are massively stretching one sentence into a one woman hate campaign.

The fact that she is 30 is beside the point, if anything she should, by her age, be able to work out the end time of the film

Where did I say my friend was 30? She's 36. She doesn't play with her phone. She is not a child.

Oh and as for making a fool of herself, I wouldn't be surprised if half the cinema was silently agreeing with her.

I think when answering AIBU threads we should all have to note whether we are 'pre-irritated' by an un/related event so that our response can be measured/handled accordingly.

Note: When I write my next post on a different thread, please consider that I have been pre-irritated by this one. Apologies in advance for any snippiness about your baby's name.

As I say again, please god never let me turn into one of these women.

You made a fool of yourself by 'standing up' to somebody from a position of completely being in the wrong and having no justification for it. No wonder the woman was shocked, as you say.

Sorry, allow me to rephrase that.

The fact that she is 36 is beside the point

The rest of the comment stands. Better?

Should the pre-irritated doctrine mean purdah for pre-menstrual women?