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Original poster

To get upset by people's gender preferences for girls

226 replies

roweeena · 02/01/2014 04:34

So everyone seems to want girls. A couple I know we're very happy to find out they were having a girl 'as that's what they really wanted'. SIL has been congratulated in having girl and when she found out everyone was so excited.

Whereas I have two DS, DS2 is 12 weeks and I'm possibly a bit hormonal and over sensitive but people have actually asked me if I'm disappointed, when I'm going to try again for a girl and have told me that girls stay closer to their mums whereas boys you have to deal with DIL.

Why are boys seen as second rate and why do people seem to be disappointed I have two DS. I love them so much and can't wait to see what type of men they grow into.

I'm just getting annoyed with other people responses

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 02/01/2014 10:38

"I think you're being over sensitive"

You think being asked if you're disappointed with your baby is being over sensitive?! Shock

BunnyLebowski · 02/01/2014 10:39

I am pregnant with DC2 and really really really want it to be another girl.

I just can't get excited about it being a boy Sad.

Kewcumber · 02/01/2014 10:40

OP - I think the MN classic "Did you mean that to sound so offensive?" might be worth a try.

I think its always worth challenging (even mildly) gender stereotyping in any form - it doesn't do any child any favours thinking that they are anything other than individuals and not part of a homogenous mass that should/does behave in a certain way.

Kewcumber · 02/01/2014 10:41

That is sad, Bunny. I'd give up a lot for the chance for a brother (or sister) for DS.

DamnBamboo · 02/01/2014 10:42

Why Bunny why?

And what if you have a boy?

BunnyLebowski · 02/01/2014 10:43

I have no idea why Kew. I didn't have a strong preference for a girl when I was pregnant with DD1.

I know it'll all dissipate once the baby is born and I'll love them as much as I do DD1.

Maybe it's because I'm worried I might not know how to parent a boy.

DamnBamboo · 02/01/2014 10:44

Because clearly these people who are asking you if you are disappointed with your gorgeous baby boy in your arms, are total idiots!

DamnBamboo · 02/01/2014 10:45

I know it'll all dissipate once the baby is born and I'll love them as much as I do DD1

So then surely you are looking forward to it, because you know how powerful that love is?

BunnyLebowski · 02/01/2014 10:45

And I keep thinking about how boring boy's names seem and how boring boy's clothes look in the shops and about how once they turn 12 they'll do nothing but hide in their room wanking into socks.

I am aware this might be rather irrational Grin.

Kewcumber · 02/01/2014 10:46

Overall, there is no evidence that society generally prefers girls at all thats true - my social worker rolling her eyes and saying "everyone says that" when I said I'd prefer a girl isn't really evidence. The fact that I would have had to wait longer for a girl because of the demand for girls is evidence though I don;t have any published evidence.

Mind you, by the time I was matched with DS I'd have taken a baby monkey if it was offered I was so desperate to be a parent.

Bodypopper · 02/01/2014 10:46

Oh load of old bollocks people talk.

Same as looking at a bump and saying its low so it's a girl or high it's a boy.

Bollocks is all making conversations.

I have 2 boys and 2 girls and wouldn't change anything.

They are all individual human beings not just genetic boys or girls.

BunnyLebowski · 02/01/2014 10:46

Just to clarify. I am delighted at being pregnant and giddy about having another baby no matter what the sex.

Just being brutally honest about my preference.

DamnBamboo · 02/01/2014 10:47

Irrational is an understatement bunny

Boys names, seem boring...doing nothing but wanking into their socks... WTF?

That's just as daft as assuming all little girls will be hormonal, tearful, evil creatures when they're teenagers!

pigletmania · 02/01/2014 10:48

The same would be said if teir were girls in the family. When dd was born, people were 'ooh a boy next', it so happens idid have a ds too later.

BunnyLebowski · 02/01/2014 10:48

Oh do fuck off Dame.

astyinmyeye · 02/01/2014 10:48

I agree with one earlier poster saying that the ultimate goal was not to have a girl but one of each sexes. I have 2 girls and I'm very happy with them but If I could have another one, I'd love a little boy !

DamnBamboo · 02/01/2014 10:49

Just to clarify. I am delighted at being pregnant and giddy about having another baby no matter what the sex

But that's not what you said. You said you can't get excited it about being boy!

RosesOnTheWane · 02/01/2014 10:49

I have twin boys who I adore. When I was pg, I was convinced I was having one of each. I wanted at least 1 boy though.
Was delighted with 2 boys and I couldn't love them more.

Now I am pg again and the comments have begun. I really don't mind whether it is a boy or a girl, but the whole world seems to be rooting for a girl on our behalf!

pigletmania · 02/01/2014 10:49

Bunny iam sure you will love it the same, boy or girl.

Only1scoop · 02/01/2014 10:50

I felt just like you Bunny ....so I know where you are coming from. Just adore dd 3.5 and thought already have loads of girls things etc....also dp totally wanted another girl. We were really wishing for another girl so much.
We recently had a MMC at 17 weeks and our tiny baby was a boy. I felt so guilty.Hmm

BunnyLebowski · 02/01/2014 10:50

I will piglet. Thank you Smile.

Morloth · 02/01/2014 10:50

I would love a houseful of boys.

We have 2 and are stopping there, but I am quite jealous of a couple of friends I have who have 4 boys.

I would have been happy with girls. But really wanted boys.

My boys are not complex creatures and are easy to parent. Though I dare say anylittle girl in our family would be raised the same.

DamnBamboo · 02/01/2014 10:50

Why bunny?

You make silly, sweeping gender based statements like this on a public forum, you can expect a response!

BunnyLebowski · 02/01/2014 10:51

Oh Only you poor thing Sad. Sorry for your loss.

Kewcumber · 02/01/2014 10:52

Well I'm a single mother Bunny with an only boy - you couldn't get less clueless about boys than me. But they're just people you know? I'm assuming you got jiggy with a male of the species in order to get pregnant at least?! SO you must have a rudimentary knowledge of them.

That joy to get when your child desperately searches the crowd to find you and lights up when they spot you, when even at 8 yrs old and you're walking along and they surreptitiously slide their hand into yours (called by a wise MN'er "the hand that makes me happy") are the joys of parenthood - I don't much concern myself with the fact that the hand is male or that the eyes are male.

DS was as about out of the ordinary as its possible to be so a boring name to add to his exotic ones were just the ticket, and not all boys clothes are boring - you just have to search harder (unfortunately)