Is this odd or am I over reacting?

[Helie]

On Xmas eve I started getting text messages from an unknown number purporting to be from an ex boyfriend of mine ( 15 yrs ago ). I am married with two children for 10 years. It was obviously not from him because or the wording (grammar) but there were references to things we did together.

I thought it was coincidence and one of these text scams where you get charged for the text. My husband denied it was him playing a joke when the messages kept coming on Christmas Day . I got a bit fed up this week as they were still coming and were personal so I rang the mobile phone company to find out if I could block them ( I had never replied) they said just ignore them and I wasn't being charged.

This evening I got one which seemed like someone was watching me so I freaked out and asked my husband again if it was him and was shocked when he said it had all been him winding me up !
I think it's weird why do this to me? He heard me phoning the mobile company to try and block the number and carried on with it. The content of the texts was mainly about memories and I love you still and let's get back together. I was cross with him and he says I am over reacting.
Am I ?

Weird and creepy. Really really weird.

He is now making this 'your fault' for not having a sense of humour.

I know suspect there will be a lot more going on in your relationship that the rest of us would at, but that you have been conditioned to think is normal :(

I would tell him to stay at work and that you'll have his stuff sent there. He's not right.

You have just joined MN? It's great how we can help. He sounds well creepy. I would not put up with this shit personally.

What an oddball. He has serious issues.

If after 10 years of marriage he is still obsessing about a life you had before him then he has serious issues. Not something that can be resolved quickly at all - if at all.

Is he worth it? Or is this the big red flag telling you to run for the hills?

His actions are extremely sinister, his goal was to gain amusement from your anxiety, fear and confusion. He controlled that reaction from you for his own fucking amusement.

I wouldn't even 'discuss' it, he and his borderline sociopath behaviour would be long gone.

Good luck

TFFT?

Creepy as fuck

I don't think you need any further convincing that this is wrong, not a joke, etc, but, ftr, DP's comments are "not right in the least", "messed up", "manipulative and nasty - that woman needs him out of her life".

And I keep thinking about all the distress you were going through including trying to ring the mobile company ON Christmas? Can't even tink how long you were on hold... I know, given what you're probably now having to go through (some serious thinking about your marriage), this is small potatoes.

thank fuck for that, Hopa

Oh dear, that is so unfunny. What a horrible situation for you to be in with your own husband. He is an idiot at best I'm afraid.

Very strange. I'd definitely say he's testing you, doesn't sound funny at all. Keep strong, don't let him control you.

Good luck with it all.

That was really quite nasty. Wasn't fun for you. And wasn't fun for him either. If it had been fun he would have been laughing. He was saying "oh just some fun" to make you feel like you didn't have the right to be upset, so that's just more lying, on top of lying about doing it.

Glad you sound like you're more than capable of kicking his ass (verbally, obv.).

Creepy, very creepy.

YANBU
Very weird. Is he normally paranoid/jealous? Has anything happened recently to make him doubt you?
That wasn't fair, especially over Christmas and keeping it up so long when he could clearly see you getting upset about it.

creepy nasty mind games, not funny at all.

it occurs to me, is he looking for a reason to leave?

if you answer the texts you're untrustworthy and he can leave.

if you don't get the joke you're unreasonable and he leaves.

It sounds like he was enjoying scaring you. This story made me shiver.

My ex did exactly this and emails from my first boy friend . He even tracked him down on Facebook .
He was trying to get me to take the bate.
He was sleeping with a work colleague and was looking to blame me for his affair . Thinking about you .

*bait even

Are you sure he's not just saying it was him to put your mind at ease but not realising he is making himself out to be a creep?

OP
Have you heard of Shane Webber?

www.theguardian.com/uk/2011/sep/21/man-online-stalking-girlfriend-nottingham

Helie I can't believe it took me this long to come to this thought, but a man who would do this wouldn't hesitate to online snoop what you're doing, including getting support from Mumsnet.

Please do protect yourself. Get on to your works machine or go out to an internet cafe (i.e. anywhere DH doesn't have access) and PM some of us whom you trust for some reading links and some practical advice.

Look after yourself.

Enjoying seeing you suffering from his 'jokes' is a form of sadism,OP. And he thinks that's fine

he stays overnight at work ? Is that normal for his job, and what other employees do ? I would be hugely p'd off if someone did this to me. Creepy.