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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this odd or am I over reacting?

114 replies

Helie · 01/01/2014 22:13

On Xmas eve I started getting text messages from an unknown number purporting to be from an ex boyfriend of mine ( 15 yrs ago ). I am married with two children for 10 years. It was obviously not from him because or the wording (grammar) but there were references to things we did together.

I thought it was coincidence and one of these text scams where you get charged for the text. My husband denied it was him playing a joke when the messages kept coming on Christmas Day . I got a bit fed up this week as they were still coming and were personal so I rang the mobile phone company to find out if I could block them ( I had never replied) they said just ignore them and I wasn't being charged.

This evening I got one which seemed like someone was watching me so I freaked out and asked my husband again if it was him and was shocked when he said it had all been him winding me up !
I think it's weird why do this to me? He heard me phoning the mobile company to try and block the number and carried on with it. The content of the texts was mainly about memories and I love you still and let's get back together. I was cross with him and he says I am over reacting.
Am I ?

OP posts:
pianodoodle · 01/01/2014 22:29

He said it wasn't a test . Just a bit of fun ( watching me react to the messages)

Wow hilarious I'm sure Shock

That's really quite sadistic I don't know what to say!

Not sure I'd believe him that the intention wasn't to see how you'd respond to the "ex" though...

wongadotmom · 01/01/2014 22:30

YANBU. What a creepy bastard he is.

TotallyAddictedToLurking · 01/01/2014 22:30

You've already said he is jealous of previous boyfriends. He is definitely testing you. He was hoping you'd reply saying how much you missed him etc etc.

The fact he has walked out because you're upset speaks volumes.

I'm so sorry Sad

You are definitely not being unreasonable

AnnieLobeseder · 01/01/2014 22:30

So he went all weird and stalkery on you, and now that you're (very uderstadably) upset with him, he has gone off in a sulk?

Very, very odd. The two of you need a serious talk. You need to let him know exactly why you're so upset, starting with feeling creeped out by explicit texts from an unknown person, to thinking you were being watched, to wondering if he doesn't trust you or the strength of your relationship. Make sure he realised exactly how unfunny his "joke" was.

How he responds once you've made him understand how appallingly he has behaved will speak volumes.

I hope he "gets it" and offers you a grovelling apology.

Original poster
Helie · 01/01/2014 22:31

He has another mobile for calling abroad but I didn't know the number.
I think it was some weird test. Don't understand why. He does play the odd joke on me but nothing like this .
He is a bit controlling if I am honest. I think this is part if it and it's getting worse I suppose.

OP posts:
yetanotherstatistic · 01/01/2014 22:31

Hmm. Who did he go to when he walked out? Sounds horribly like the "script" to me. I suspect if you posted this in Relationships the general consensus would be that he is the one to be checked up on, not the OP.

dickyduckydido · 01/01/2014 22:31

So, he's walked out and can now blame it on you 'not being able to take a joke'. Run. As fast as you can

Tinkertaylor1 · 01/01/2014 22:31

An ex did similar after we split up. How can you trust him now? He knew they were upsetting you!

giraffesCantSledge · 01/01/2014 22:32

Ninja...hope your ex is not ops dh!

Very odd

MuttonCadet · 01/01/2014 22:32

Stupid question, but does he watch Hollyoaks, because there is a storyline running of someone posting texts to their partner puporting to be from an ex.

AnnieLobeseder · 01/01/2014 22:32

Ooops, pardon my "uderstadably" (which is just how you'd say it if you had a raging cold!), my "n" key has crumbs stuck under it Blush.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 01/01/2014 22:32

Sorry OP but your husband is a weirdo. Not sure what you can do about him but if it was me I would have really had a hissy fit and he would not be sleeping in my bed!

PedlarsSpanner · 01/01/2014 22:33

next thing you'll be telling us you don't work and have no access to money apart from your 'housekeeping' or 'allowance' from him (please let me be wrong)

Skiingmaniac · 01/01/2014 22:33

Poor you Sad

I had something similar, but not as bad.

When I was 8.5 months preg with my PFB I was at home whilst exdh was out with the lads! At about 9.30pm the phone rings and leaves a message as I was in the bath. The message tells me they are the police and that exdh is in the cells after being picked up drunk. I started freaking out and getting ready to go down to station....I then checked the number that rang....to ring back....it was an unknown mobile number.

I called the police station who knew nothing about it and asked me for the prank callers number.

I find out later that it was actually exdh and his mates (unknown mate called on his phone) thinking that they were being funny! Yes, hysterical to the person that have birth about 2 days later...ha ha ha! Blush

MatryoshkaDoll · 01/01/2014 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Helie · 01/01/2014 22:35

He has gone to work. He is not due till tomorrow but stays there some nights each week .... It's not sounding good is it !

OP posts:
MatryoshkaDoll · 01/01/2014 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NinjaBunny · 01/01/2014 22:36

Ninja...hope your ex is not ops dh!

Not beyond the realms of possibility.

He had a new girlfriend very shortly after I left him (10ish years ago). Also has 2 more children.

And he's the type to storm out the minute you disagree with him.

Be nice if he is. Better than having 2 of these freaks wandering around.

Live in Calne, Wiltshire OP?

InTheRedCorner · 01/01/2014 22:36

This would really worry me. I wonder if he expected you to text back, would he have carried it on to see how far you would take it? Confused

loveolives · 01/01/2014 22:36

Your husband is a freak and a cunt.

FunkyBoldRibena · 01/01/2014 22:39

I think I would follow him out, go to wickes and replace the locks whilst he is out. That is testy and stalkery. And not on at all.

Original poster
Helie · 01/01/2014 22:39

We both work. So I am a woman of independent means .

OP posts:
Glimmerberry · 01/01/2014 22:40

What an asshole.

A bf of a friend of mine once did something similar to me (odd anonymous text messages, flirtatious, suggesting we do something together, mentioning hobbies he knew I had). Was all "a joke" of course when it was revealed as him. Many years later he proved to be quite the wanker I always thought he was -massive sex chat line addiction resulting in huge debts, womanising etc etc.

PedlarsSpanner · 01/01/2014 22:41

ah great, and TFFT my dear

Original poster
Helie · 01/01/2014 22:43

Thanks for all of your comments. It's really helped me this evening. I am glad it's not just me thinking it's odd. Time to do some thinking and talking

OP posts:
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