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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU? 3 yo and bottle or 9yo with teddies

87 replies

CadleCrap · 31/12/2013 12:39

My DD is about to turn 3.

She drinks from a cup normally but at bed time she has a bath, a bottle (ie baby bottle with teat) of cow's milk, brushes teeth, story, then bed.

DD has no other comforter/cuddly toy she is attached to.

My DSis says DD is too old for a bottle, but her 9 yo twin boys cannot go to bed with out their favorite teddies.

Why is DD too old for a bottle? Who says? It is one a day and teeth are brushed afterward.

DSis says about the teddies, they like their comfort.

What is the difference between a bottle as comfort or a teddy and wibu?

OP posts:
kelda · 31/12/2013 12:42

It's not a good idea to brush teeth immediately after drinking milk. You need to leave it about 20 minutes before brushing the teeth, so the saliva can do it's job.

TokenGirl1 · 31/12/2013 12:43

YANBU Why do people insist on making little kids grow up so fast. Is it doing any harm? Will your little one still want a bottle at 9? Probably not. They get to a point where they don't want babyish things and so treasure them while they are still little, I think.

RhondaJean · 31/12/2013 12:43

If she can use a cup why would you keep her on a bottle at all?

I am afraid I agree with your sister in law. It is bad for her teeth, also if you brush immediately afterwards you will be doing more damage, the teeth enamel is weakened and softened. She will be starting nursery soon and it's also infantilising.

There are a lot of grown adults with teddies, I don't see how you can compare the two at all.

At 3 the question from me would be are you keeping her with the bottle because she really needs it or because you aren't quite ready for your baby to grow up a bit?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 31/12/2013 12:44

To start with there is nothing wrong with anyone any age having a teddy or similar to cuddle when they go to sleep.

As for the bottle, my 2 and a half year old has his bottle of cows milk at bedtime too. I plan to get him to give it up by his birthday in the summer as its not really good for his teeth long term. Only reason I haven't is because like your DD he doesn't have teddies to comfort him either. He's not interested in them. He has a dummy too which I plan to ditch at the same time as the bottle for the same reasons.

CaptainSweatPants · 31/12/2013 12:44

A bottle causes an overbite

I'm 39 & still like a teddy in bed Xmas Grin but not a bedtime bottle Xmas Grin

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 12:45

Neither is a problem, IMO

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2013 12:47

I'm 44 and I like a teddy and a bedtime bottle of wine Xmas Grin

Mikkii · 31/12/2013 12:47

DD2 (3) also has her milk in a bottle, but uses a cup or glass at other times. If you are happy with DD having a bottle, ignore your sister.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 12:47

Well I think a bottle at three is too old. But that's just my opinion, u do what you see best.

Teddies don't ruin teeth so id pick a teddy any day. They are soft and cute and encourage responsibility (a little, in keeping safe) and role play and talking which bottles don't.

Totally your call though. I think people like to keep children as babies too long.

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 12:48

Hmm

Didn't realise one bottle at night could do that.

OP - maybe you fear she'd kick up a fuss at her change of routine?

shazbean · 31/12/2013 12:49

Do what suits you and your child.
Do not expect others to agree nor you with them.

DD had a dummy til she was almost 5 for 5 minutes before she fell asleep.
Was it ideal? No.

Was it worth putting her (and us) though nights of tears before she was ready to give it up? No.

But I certainly wouldn't have broadcast the fact as I'm sure many would judge.
3 year old with a bottle, 9year old with a teddy. I couldn't give a monkeys, neither are harmful or any sort of a problem.

RestingActress · 31/12/2013 12:50

The dental care aspect of using a bottle is the issue.

My 10yo and 15yo won't go to bed without their teddies

ihearttc · 31/12/2013 12:50

A bottle of milk drunk quickly at bedtime does not cause an overbite.

A bottle of milk sucked constantly all day long and the overuse of dummy's can cause an overbite.

I was a dental nurse for 10 years before I had children-I have seen the damage that constant sucking of bottles/dummies can do...its not the same thing at all.

My 3 year old still has a bottle of milk before bed but we do wait about 30 mins before brushing his teeth. He drinks perfectly well from a cup but will only drink water not milk as in his mind it comes from a bottle. He drinks it in less than 2 mins so Im not concerned at all and neither should you be-let her carry on as long as she wants.

My 9 year old still has a teddy to take to bed as well! x

MammaTJ · 31/12/2013 12:53

This is less about what your DD needs/wants and what your DSis's Twins need/want and more about the two of you being competative and comparing your children, never a good thing.

All children are individuals (yes, even her twins) and do dofferent things at different times. Stop comparing.

I have three children, there is more different about them than there is the same.

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 12:54

Thanks iheart

I personally think it is no less childish to have a teddy in bed than to have a bottle at 3 at bedtime. No harm being done to anyone ough, so no problem.

Original poster
CadleCrap · 31/12/2013 12:54

Just to clarify - it is not immediately after a bottle that DD (I) brushes teeth, I was trying to make the point that DD has her teeth brushed after a bottle rather than going to sleep on one.

I also don't "insist" DD has one, I have tried a variety of mugs/cups etc. I also don't feed DD the bottle, she just likes to drink from it.

DD does not have an overbite and I can't see how a 5 min suck pon a bottle would cause one.

OP posts:
ihearttc · 31/12/2013 12:57

Exactly my point Cadlecap...it doesn't cause an overbite at all. 5 mins to drink a bottle in the evening will not cause an overbite anymore than sucking through a straw will for the same amount of time.

Unless she has a bottle in her mouth most of the day or a dummy then there honestly isn't a problem. Like I said my 3 year old won't drink from anything other than a bottle and as he is so tiny Id rather he drink it than not drink it.

temporarilyjerry · 31/12/2013 13:00

If your DD is still drinking milk out of a bottle when she is 14, that is a problem. Teddies are never a problem.

If your DD wants a bottle for comfort at bedtime, who cares? It's no-one's business, but yours.

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 13:00

Can you still get those tteats that fit on a bottle that are a transition to a sippy cup- if you were worried about the sucking aspect? Not that it sounds like you need to be.

I also agree with MammaTJ. It's neverr good when siblings start mentioning each other's parenting -op your Dsis shouldn't have said anything.

trixymalixy · 31/12/2013 13:01

I agree with your SIL. The teddies and the bottle are not really comparable, teddies will do no harm whereas a bottle might as others have said.

MyMILisfromHELL · 31/12/2013 13:10

It's the same as people judging bfing beyond a certain age IMO. It's none of anyone's bloody business whether X is still bf at 2.5, Y has a pacifier at night at 4yo, Z still has a bottle at 3 or Little 7yo Jimmy still sucks his thumb to sleep. Tell your dsis to butt out & concern herself with her own children/parenting rather.

Original poster
CadleCrap · 31/12/2013 13:11

ihearttc We also live in a hot country and it is a way I can make sure DD has something to drink. She has never had a dummy.

OP posts:
MyMILisfromHELL · 31/12/2013 13:12

The teddies are bedtime comforters just like your dd' bottle. The two are totally comparable.

NoComet · 31/12/2013 13:13

DD2 still BF to sleep long, long after she was three, at 12 she still takes her soft toy to bed.

She is, and always has been very grown up. Normally in a sensible way, although odd bits of teen attitude have crept in since she was 6

curlew · 31/12/2013 13:14

Can someone please link to the evidence that shows that one bottle a day can cause any damage to the teeth?